Zaxlog

Mood: wishing I had a time machine other than this body
Listening to: quiet people talking

Damn work, I hate it when I don't get a proper chance to write all day, makes me all crazylike!  Havn't done any proper writing all week.  Feel starved of my usual creative outlet.  Guess i'm just gonna have to go home and take it out on my guitar.  And I wonder why I never get any time to play computer games.....

 

I've said it before and i'll say it again, there just isn't enough time in life for a full time job.

Mood: torn
Listening to: customers whining

Why is it that some people seem so impervious to help?  I know that I am/have been guilty of this as well but in some way that seems to be different.  Why phone a helpline only to refuse the help that is offered to you?  Do the Samaritans recieve calls from people that then refuse to speak?  What would they do if they did? Would it be the usual "If I do not hear a human voice within 10 seconds I will disconnect the call."  What if a lonely mute person phoned the Samaritans just to hear a human voice because they were struggling with a terrible  depression.  The hard working and wonderful volunteers at the Samaritans would have no choice but to keep the line open just in case the caller decided to speak.  Either that or would they have to disconnect the call so that other needy folk could ring through?  It's certainly a conundrum and one that I am glad that I don't have to answer.  The people that phone me generally cant stop speaking for more than a second or two to draw breath before launching into another tirade of problems.  It's nice to feel needed. Ahh such is life!

Mood: Friday again, just been made permanent at work, just got paid, oh and did I mention it's friday!?
Listening to: Everyone talking as no calls are coming in!

"What, he told you which cream to use for that strange rash you have?" I questioned Tony. "No you fool" He replied, sounding a little like Mr T from the A Team. "He told me that the centrepiece of the exhibition is the replica vial of k'Ram, and he also told me that the security system in the hall where the exhibition is hosted has been taken away for cleaning (implausible I know but hey it's friday afternoon!).

Mood: on on on on on and ariston
Listening to: my brains dribbling from my overworked earholes

It was truly magnificent. The most beautiful and wonderous sight ever to utilise the bouncing of light to create the magic of sight to a set of human eyes.  Standing before me on a raised marble dias was a giant golden Platypus and not the usual duck-billed kind, oh no, this was one of the very rare, but strangely beautiful mammoth headed platypuses (platypi?) The plaque in front of the dias stipulated that the unfortunate Platypi (ah ha, so i was right) had stumbled blindly into one of the ancient molten gold pits of the tribe of Oon-Glark from the plains of polypenesia.  This particular creature had then been pulled out, set with precious stones and engraved with fanciful scenes of death and glory in battles of old.  I was struck dumb by the horrific beauty that the gold plated animal possesed and the sheer amount of effort that the tribesmen must have put into the carving of the effigy.  Tony was haowever less impressed with the vision of wierdness before me.  Ducking under the platypi's disproportionately large tusks he took a side passage from the main hall we were in and seemed to be following some innate sense of direction.  Naturally curious as to my colleagues hitherto unseen skill I questioned him as to where he was headed.  He replied, "Whilst you were drooling over that strange golden beasty, I went back to that friendly guard and asked him where the Euclidian pottery display was.  He was only too happy to help and told me exactly where to go.  Also he unwittingly gave me the answer to our problems"

More on the morrow dear single reader.!!

Mood: maybe its because im a londoner........
Listening to: workmates interesting "london" accent

I might just let John tell this part of the story, seeing as I was driving around with Julia at the time, trying to avoid the silvery mist of certain death that is the Beast of Drof-D'ar.  So, take it away John:

Well it was a dark and moonless night when Tony and I were dropped outside the Museum with mischief on our minds. (editorial note - It was the middle of the day, please excuse John and his tendency to over dramatise events) We crept up to the silent and apparently deserted building, all the lights were off and there was a chill wind blowing from the east.  Looking through the front door we could see that the museum was actually still open, perhaps there was some kind of evening function, or party occuring. (over dramatising? more like delusional! - ed) I brazened up to the guard, an elderly gentleman with a white bushy moustache who welcomed me with outstretched hand and a smile.  Was he attempting to put me off my guard? Was he secretly a highly trained hassasin, attempting to befuddle my mind with his cunning disguise and fiendishly false friendliness?  Was his open palm with it's wrinkles and liver spots really a weapon that could be used to kill or maim as the owner saw fit or perhaps it was laced with a delicate poison that would be harmless to the trined hassasin who had spent the formative years of his life building up a resistance to it, but deadly to any others that came into contact?  I considered these and other options for a moment before reaching out and skaking the mans hand.  "Welcome to the museum of Natural History, please feel free to look around, photographing is allowed but please don't take photographs of the staff." With those words of warning echoing in my ears (I had always suffered something terrible from tinnitus), Tony and I strode purposefully towards the first exhibition hall. Held within were magical wonders far and above anything that I had expected from such a small and tawdry museum. There was an ancient ephebian coruscle tusk, used in the 1st century for collecting the falling berries from the Krattratory tree. They were thought to give the person who drank the berry juice from the tusk the libido of an african rhino.  Other fabulous items included the first ever hydraulic umbrella built by one T.L. Erumbaum of Massachusets.  It worked fantastically as a weather proofer but unfortunatelt was a bit on the heavy side for day to day use.  Moving swiftly (you call that swiftly? - ed) through that exhibition to the next hall, I was greeted by the most awe inspiring and wonderful sight ever.

More from Johns awe upon the morrow.

Mood: home time, what do you think!!
Listening to: rustling sounds of coats being put on

On a lighter note(how can you get much lighter than a ridiculous story about a mythical beast?) I've started a wonderful new relationship. I find that I am having to be more supportive, but in return I am growing stronger inside.  My new partner is generally quite silent but it seems that most of the time there is no need for communication.  I can pick them up at will and they do not get irate if i only wish to spend an hour or so a night with them.  Sometimes I will go a whole weekend without seeing them, I never recieve any grief for this even though I never phone and explain my absence.  They never ask me where I have been if I come home late, or for that matter who I have been with.  They never cook or clean which suits me fine as I prefer not to burden others.  They do live with me but take up very little space and do not move any of my belongings around or use anything without asking.  They are generally very clean, never smell bad or anything.  They also constantly encourage me to better myself, but without making me feel guilty if I fancy drinking a few beers with my mates.  Talking of mates, they get on famously with all of my friends and I am so secure in the relationship that I don't even need to fear that they will run off and leave me!! The best relationshp in the world??

Mood: parteeeeeeeeeee,(in my head, gotta be quiet cos im at work)
Listening to: Sivertide - Heartstrong

"It was in the paper" said Julia breathlessly (she'd been watching the events in another vehicle).  "The answer to our problems".  "Well what is it then" said John (the as yet unreferenced and unused character in this silly little drama).  "The museum, they are hosting an exhibition of euclidean geometrical prisoner pottery.  The centre piece of which is an exact replica of the vial of K'ram!".
"Wow", exclaimed John, obviously getting used to his new role as a speaking character. "so how do we go about getting the vial and then trapping the beast inside without any harm coming to any of us?" 
Tony then piped up "well i think we should split that into two smaller problems instead of one big one, that way we can, in fine horror movie style, split up the main characters to follow the two separate but intrinsicly linked plots, increase the audiences interest, the intensity of the fear, and the likelyhood of one of the characters getting walloped good and proper by the bad guy/spirit/demon/beast."
"What ARE you on about?" prompted Julia.
"I'm not sure really," said Tony, "Sometimes I just open my mouth and words come out."
"Well I wish you wouldn't, it's quite unnerving" from Julia who had recovered from her earlier bout of breathlessness.
"I agree" said John in an attempt to up his speech quota in the story to hopefully stave off a painful and gory death at the hands of the Beast of Drof-D'ar as befitting a minor character in a schlocky horror movie.

I decided to interject at this point in an effort to get the story moving again as pointless asides were getting us nowhere.  What we really needed was some good old fashioned action.  I revved the engine of the Camaro, stuck it in first gear again, spun the wheel and we flew out of the layby, the back wheels spitting dust and gravel as we hurtled along the road.  As we drove I highlighted the plan to my compadres.  (Why they listen to me I have no idea, but it seems to work so i'm not going to knock it!) The main points of the plan went as follows: Julia and I would drop John and Tony off at the museum and then continue to drive around fast and aimlessly in an attempt to keep the Beast chasing us.  Meanwhile behind the facade of this deserted looking bookstore, oh, hang on thats a different story.  Meanwhile, John (who was, by the way, relishing his new found existence with a name and a speaking role and everything)  and Tony were to find a way into the museum, steal the replica vial of K'ram and escape to our hideout where we would all meet to work out how best to trap this infernal creature (and so put my tortured imagination to rest).  For myself and Julia the plan seemed to be most enjoyable though obviously necessary.  Driving around aimlessly would be one of my special powers were I to be mutated into a superhero by some strange toxic goo, and there's not a passenger seat in the world that Julia hasn't made herself comfortable in at some point or another.  For what happens to John and Tony on the other hand,. you will simply have to wait until tomorrow dear reader!!