Somebody's someone

Ikon was sik!!! im actually really glad Lewis (new bf) didnt come because otherwise i wouldnt of got to do something with someone which il get into a bit later on.

Well when we first got there i felt quite sick and i didnt really want to do anything but then i just had some water to drink and i was feeling great!! Me and becky went onto the dance flour and it was great because people kept making big circles where someone dances in the middle - like the kinda things you see on tv or something.

After a while we saw Mark there. And then we was Mark haynes there and i was chatting to him for abit - i asked him if things were ok with me and him because after we broke up about 2 years ago we wasnt exactly the best of friends.

Then me and Becky went back to the dance floor and found ourselves surronded my realllyyy buff boys lol and there. Becky asked some fat boy to dance with me and then his really buff mate dan said he wanted to dance with him so i went with him and becky got left with the other boy. lol. And thats why im glad lewis wasnt there because otherwise i wouldnt of got to dance with dan and im just so glad i didnt coz omg hes so buff and kind and ahh hhmmm lol he said he cant wait to see me at the next ikon so i will definatly be going to it!! lol

anyway thats about it for last night lol.

Much love

Krissy

 -----X-----

omg well im talking to mark on msn and he wants to meet me tomorrow coz im going into town anyway to buy some new clothes for summer. My mum is giving me £50 (about $100 i think) but i just got off the phone with becky and now apparently i go out with lewis but i like both of them and ahhh i dont know what to do!!

Well, i dunno what to write. Im so confussed!!

you see, last thursday i went to the reck with Becky and her boyfriend James. And while we was there James' friend Lewis came along. I didnt actually know him but id seen him around school alot. And we just started talking and messing around together. And when i had to go home he walked me home along with James and Becky and he just putting his arm around me and stuff. And just as i was walked to my road he asked me out. I said no and walked up my road. They next day i we was messing about at lunch and breat and i asked him out and he said he'll tell me the answer later (coz lloyde was around lol) i havnt seen him since friday because hes round his mums house. But he told James he'llcall for me monday. But also, ive met another one of James' mates, steven. And hes proper funny n really nice n hes a bmx'er. i was with him today lol. hes really nice. I dont THINK i fancy him but i dunno watever. But the thing is im not sure if i still like Mark or not. I just wanna see him so i can make sure of how i feel about it. I know Lewis is the better pick out of the two of them because i know lewis wouldnt do anything to purposly upset me and he couldnt cheat. And Mark cheats on people all the time and while we was together he upset me alot and i dunno why i even still liked him. I dunno. Boys suck lol.

anyway thats about it lol

much love

Krissy

-----X-----

Well i wasnt in school today. Ive got the worst cold EVER. Yesterday we had these test things (just when i thought they were all over!) and literatly, every two seconds it was *sniff sniff*.....*sniff sniff*......*sniff sniff*. It was effing annoying and really grose to because they didnt even have any tissues at the effing office!!! And there was NO WAY i was gonna use the tissue from the toilets like everyone told me to, i think thats just  repulsive. So yeah, i had to gowithout. Ehh my voice is kinda croky and thats kinda annoying.

Now, the question many people are asking me - 'Are you back together with Mark yet?' And for the last time, NO. I dunno whats happening with us. Last time is spoke to him, like i said, he was saying stuff like 'i wish i was with you' bla bla bla. But that was nearly 3 weeks ago. I havnt seen him since. His phone has been switched off the whole time. So i havnt spoke to him. Darrens phone is turned off. So if Keiran is at school, or if im at school, i'll ask him whats going on with him. Hmmm....im not sure if i even still like him in that way. I havnt seen him in a month and spoke to him in 3 weeks. So, i just feel like, i dunno like were 'drifting' away. When we first met we spent most of our free time together. But, owell. Life goes on.

Well i havnt really got much to say now. So bye i guess.

Much love

Krissy

----X----

Mood: ok

Well nothing much going on today.

I got a new mp4 play (no, not mp3..mp4) today seeing as somebody *not saying names* broke my, better, old one which i had got for christmas last year. Well. I was looking through it and it has sooo much memory on it! Ive already put about 7 albums worth of songs on it. Plus ive put up a load of pics. And when i was looking to see what movies it had on its, too my luck, its had 8 mile on it! I was like...YAY. I love that movie so much i think its brilliant lol.

Well last night i was speaking to mark. It started of with what we normally do, calling eachother a bitch and telling eachother to fuck off (not being seriously of course were just messing about) and then he said to me "i wish i was with you but you do want to be with me any more do you" and from then our conversation just got really serious. He said he wants to for more than my "good looks, sence of humour and gd personalitly" and i was kinda confused with what he said by that. Then he said "i want you more than that and i know you want me for more than that" so i was kinda confussed but what he ment by that so when i asked him bout it he just said "sex". And thats when i started getting stressed. I said to him "so am i just your booty call then?!" and he just said "no way ur way more to me than that" and then i just went. He said he would be online today at 3 but he hasnt been online so far and its now 7:10.

I asked a few people if they think i should get back with him and it was a mix of answers and that just got me even more confused about what i should do. They next time i will probably see him is wednesday if he binks school. But im not sure if he will. So i dunno what to do now so im pretty screwed because if he doesnt bunk then i probably wont see him till next weekend so then that would be 2 weeks i havnt seen him. If i see him next saturday or something we will probably go swimming or something. I might go on my own, i might not and if i dont i will most likely bring becky and her bf James.

Well. I havnt done much today just sat about in the house really. School tomorrow. Oh joy (note my sarcasm). No school on wednesday because of review day. Im pretty glad ive got a early time so then i get the rest of the day free. And because there is not school i also get to miss assembaly!! wohoo!! lol.

Well thats about it for today.

Much love

Krissy

---X---

So today i had my final S.A.T tests wohoo! There officially over! Im so glad they are. Um..nothing much happend today.

It kinda weird coz im kinda mingling with different people alot lately. Gina has wanted me to stayt with her at lunch times now so during lunch ive been with Kirsty and Sammy and tht crowd. lol. Kinda funny.

So, i know ive probably said this on a blog tons of times before. But i'm think im really ready for a steady, serious relationship. I know! your probably to younge for commitment. But like i said. Its something that i really want and im ready for. I've expericened something i didnt think i was ready for. But it turned out i was and if i wasnt then it would of ended up VERY embarrasing.

Last sunday i kinda done something with Mark which ended up with Cathy now not liking me. Well ive told her before that Mark kissed me whilst there were together but she didnt belive me. And i guess if she did belive me then she wouldnt of got so mad and upset about it.

Well anyway. After sunday i kinda thought Mark was trying to avoid me a bit or somthing. But the other day he phoned me saying hed like to meet up with me wednesday but he couldnt because he was going into pompey. So i guess i'll try to plan somthing out for the weekend but thats only if hes not round his uncles house and if he is then i guess i'll just talk to him on msn or something.

I dumped Darren on tuesday. I guess i just didnt want to string him along. Dont get me wrong or anything because he is SUCH an amazing person, but hes just not for me. But Mark. I dunno. I do really like him and i have since we first met and he saids he has liked me since we first met to. But i know how he is with relationships and it doesnt seems too good. I really want to make things work with me and him but i dunno its just gonna be a rough ride.

Well thats the update.

Much love

Krissy

---X---

Mood: good i guess
Listening to: Brook hogan - by heart

Well nothing much going on today. Wow my life has got inbelivable boring. Cant wait till the weekend. No reason. I think im going out with Ollie and all that lot. Becky is coming to. Cathy was ment to come but once again she has decided not to come. She been really moody lately and to be honest it pissing me off.

So anyway, i had my english tests today. I guess they went pretty smoothly. And i think ive got another one tomorrow. Im so glad this week is coming to an end! Yay! And as a little end of sats present to myself. I think i might go ahead and get my ear peirced.

Well im so effing board. I went out today hoping to go to the new skatepark. But Sarah dragged me over to Bens house and we was there for a while but they where just messing around acting like piss head. Sarah was already drunk anyway. So after a while i just got fed up and went home. So..i got home. Watched T.V. My mum came home with some chinese food. I ate a bit of it. And thats would be enough to fill me up for the rest of the day. Seeing as im currently living on water (Im a bit obsessed with drinking water at the moment) So yeah... i guess thats all i have to say.

Much love

Krissy

---X---

Mood: normal - ish
Listening to: alice cooper - poison

Nothing new to write about really. Im just bored.

Well i had my Maths papers today. First paper i thought was hard-ish. Second paper, well to me it was just easy but alot of other people thinks it was really hard. The mental test was kinda in between, i think. I've got my english papers tomorrow which is deffinatly what im most anxious about doing seeing as im not exactly the best person at it. Especially as where doing someing about shackspear (didnt spell that wright) "Much to do about nothing" - well, i think its that. If not then i dunno. Dont really want to know as to be perfectly honest i couldnt care less.

Hmmm....well what have i got planned for the rest of the day... Well i was going to go down the reck to see ollie, james, aaron, "god", ect ect (some boys me n becky met, friends with ben lions and sam.s) but i, well, didnt. Simple really...couldnt be botherd.

Well ive been requested to make some scones later on lol. Also thinking about makeing a shake or something. They've kinda become my speciality.

Well my "relationships" with some people are kinda up and down. Take Cathy for example. One minute were like best best best mates, and the next its just like. "hi"..."hi" and that would be our conversation for the day.

Well anyway, thats about it for the daily update

Much love

Krissy

---X---

Mood: meh
Listening to: the offspring - want you bad

Well i dont know what to write. When i first started this blog thing i would write in it all the time. But now it's just every so often. And im telling you this because?! lol.

Well i guess it's safe to say, im Darren's girlfriend. Do i want to be? i have no clue. When i was with him yesterday, i felt comfortable. Like i can be myself. And thats normaly somthing i can't do around new people. Be myself. We both have personalitys that some people would say "connect" and that is true. Our personalitys are so alike. And i love it. But at the same time i just feel like i need someone who doesnt like the same bands as me, or has the same interests or well someone who isnt just like me. I need my own identity. I mean. I can't say anything bad about him, i mean, theres nothing wrong with him. He's into decent music. I've met pretty much his whole family the second day i knew him. He skates. He plays guitar. He decent looking. He's a pretty bad kisser but owell lol. I guess theres more to a relationship than just kissing and that sorta thing. But when im not with him, i feel like i dont want to be with him. But when im with him. I feel lucky to actually meet someone as compatable to me as him.

But, theres someone else. He tells me constantly he loves me. And i loved him once too. But, im not sure if u still do or not. I used to see him around with all these new girls. Kissing them. And it would kill me. I felt as if my heart was being ripped out. Not just because i loved him. But because told me he loves me. So, if he loves me. Why does he treat me like dirt when he's around other people? And when we're alone, he the kindest person i could know.

I just really dont know what to do. Im seeing Darren next saturday. And i only see him every weekend and if not that once a week. Sometimes school days. But the thing is, the longer i leave it to see him again. The more special it is when we actually are together.

Anyhoo. So yeah, im seeing him next saturday. Mark and Cathy will be there. And so will Keiran (i think) and hopefully his girlfriend. So i guess im just going to have to see how it goes. Before yesterday i was so convinced that Darren isnt what i want and that i was going to dump him. But i just couldnt. I couldnt bring myself to do it. I dunno why i guess by not telling him how i feel i would just be stringing him along and that is one thing i will not do to him. He's just too good a person. I know he would never do anything to hurt me or make me to anything i didnt want to do.

Well i guess im just going to see how things go. Not just with Me and Darren but with the other guy i was talking about. I cant mention his name yet. It's to risky. If you dont understand then dont worry lol. Geez im only 13 nearly 14 and i already have all these problems. Well, no need for commitment. I've got my whole life ahead of me. Im not going to rush my childhood/teen years. If you ask me there the best times of your life. Im not going to ruin it by doing something i dont need to do.

Moving on, I had my first set of S.A.T's today. The science papers. And i guess they didnt go too bad. Although some of the questions on the second paper didnt make any sence at all!! But the first paper was ok. I think i have my Maths or English paper's tomorrow.  

Well anyway. I guess that about sums it up.

Much love,

Krissy x

^^^me^^^