Weblog of xuefei

Thinking of my days and nights here, I feel I haven't done as much as I thought. Everyday time seems to go quickly, and the knowlege I gain is very limited. I try to be happy and be satisfied with myself, but still I feel I haven't done what I feel I should have done.

But it has great to do with what I really want to do. What do I really like to do? To be honest I really don't know because I thought my goal is to get married as soon as possible and after that, I will do whatever I can. But that was not as something I can arrange. It needs communication with the man and you have to get his permission or get his willingness to marry, then you can marry, otherwise, you can't force a man to get married. Without fulfilling this, I don't know what is the plan B. I know here there is always a plan B. But I can't plan a B for my love. I can understand that if I want a job as plan A and if I can't get it, I will have a plan B. For love, I thought I would concentrate on this man all my life as God has created us to be loyal and honest and make a man and a woman become one. I don't know if it is good or not, basically I think it is not good to have man A to get married and man B in case of exception.

I think life is short, it is better to have man A and use my heart to love him. This way, even though I didn't achieve much in my material life, I still feel very happy that I got a man to love. I feel I will do whatever I can for this man and love this man. Time flies. But many things remain to be done. The main reason is that I only see my journalism as the option. I didn't have time to look for other options. Many people encourage me to study Swedish and don't worry about future and I don't worry about it either as I have something to do now everyday.

But think carefully, at the age of 40,  I haven't written any book yet, I haven't become a big leader either and I haven't earned a lot of money either. I haven't had many friends, what have I done over these years? Am I so much isolated myself from this world? What did I do to contribute to these world? To my family, to my friends, to myself? Nothing has been achieved. Why is it so? The world is changing. When we are not sophisticated enough in this world, then we are just useless. At least in this so-called advanced world.

In my heart I feel I like to launch a Chinese newspaper here because in the end, I find like Swedish, still the native language makes you feel cordial and happy. I know Swedish people wish me to speak Swedish. I also wish I can speak Swedish, but I also wish to write more in Chinese so that the Chinese people can read news about China and the Chinese people here in Sweden.

This is a country which is very modest. But it is also a place where excellent people can do what they want to do. I am still thinking and slowing down my pace of walking ahead. I know I can still run, but not very fast. But I have to run.

To save water has been one of the big themes of the walk in Gotland. We know that this summer, there has been severe drought in
Gotland and some places even banned irrigation for fields. So we saw the crops such as mais didn't group as well as it should be. But wheat seemed to be ok.

This summer for Sweden is rare that it has more sunny days than ever.

We pray for water and we pray for saving water.

Miraculously on the day we finished the walking on July 31st, Gotland got the whole day of rain. Even in the evening when we arrived in Nynashamn, it rained heavily for a while.

But during the 8 days walk, it was always sunny days.

In Gotland, I see a lot of sustainable development practices. The farmers grow wheat in large scale and then process them just beside the field. Then the hey will go to the adjacent cow ranch where they raise cows.

Also, they use wind turbines to get electricity.

Gotland honey is famous and the lamb meat is also very good.

Gotland people also love the nature and all kinds of flowers are blossoming along the road. It is a beautiful island with all kinds of terrains, the beach, forests, hills and plains.

It is so beautiful and the road signs are very clear.

In China when I work, I think I was working for the government or the people with my conscience. People seem to be not very calculated for how much they earn because at most, you still earn that couple of thousands. So the strong support for work is mainly from the heart and from many years of education in one's mind and heart.

But when market factor functions, everything is valued by money. People pay more attention to efficiency and so on.

But what's life for? Where is our joy? Even scientist finds that if with conscience or awareness, it will be difficult to do what you are doing. If you don't think, it is ok, that you get a good salary and live a good life, but if you ask what you are doing and what it is for, then your hand will shake, your heart is not at ease.

During the  walk, when I talk with our guardien Joop, I was moved by his change of mindset during his life.

He was a good mathmatician and led a project in research in rocket. It was a very important job. But then he joined a peace movement. After several times of communication with the peace movement people, he felt a bit guilty of doing what he was doing. After a few years of agony and struggling, he finally was brave enough to talk with his boss and said he didn't like to do what he was doing which would contribute to war.

Fortunately, he got a good deal with his boss and finally realized his mental and soul peace and he felt much better in doing things like helping the disabled people find a job or doing business for them. It was a large change in his career, but in the healthy direction.

Finally he finds his joy in music and many other spiritual things. He enjoyed to be a leader in the pilgrimage process although it was a lot of responsibilities and burden in some ways.

Although leaving his wife home, who is unable to walk so far, he said his wife supports him to walk every year because each time when he went back, she feels as if she got a new husband.

Joor is 69 years old, but still very clear in mind and fit for walking and just made a DVD last year about peace and non-violence movement.

He is a good leader as he is brief and clear. And he knows what to do while also consulting with the group members.

With some blisters on feet, people finished the 8 days walking with joy and strength. 

180 people from 7  or 8 countries participated in the walk. They are divided into 8 groups including elderly, children and family.

In our group of fire, we have 22 people. With Joop as our guardien, Evelyn as Troubador, Kirstin as spiritual leader and Jan Peter as Chapter leader, we had a good time together.

Everyday we get up with the joyful song from Joop at 7 o'clock. Then we packed up and prepared for breakfast.

During breakfast, Joor will announce the daily routine and we will wash the dishes after the meal.

Then the spiritual leader will teach us some dances or songs so that we get some strength to walk during the day. We pray for a smooth walk.

We usually walk three hours and lunch will begin at 1, then have a nap or siesta and chapter began at 3. We were off on road again around four. Sometimes we could arrive at our destination at 6 or before that.

In the evening, the troubador will teach us a lot of games and songs and no matter how old or how young you are, just play together. It was lots of fun.

With such a collective and joyful day, people can easily sleep for the night.

Love nature, save water and protect environment, value family and children and so on are also discussed during the tour. As the theme this year is to choose or not to choose and possibly how to choose, it gives people a lot of room to think.  

Oil slick threat to wildlife of Mediterranean

John Vidal and agencies
Saturday August 5, 2006
The Guardian

A major oil slick was spreading north from Lebanon along the Syrian coast last night and could devastate beaches as far away as Turkey and Cyprus, local ecologists and the UN have warned.

The slick, which has been growing since the start of hostilities, follows the bombing by the Israelis of fuel tanks at the Jiyyeh power station south of Beirut. Up to 35,000 tonnes of crude oil are believed to have escaped, making it one of the worst pollution incidents recorded in the eastern Mediterranean.

Article continues

---

---

Tourist resorts along the Lebanese coast have been covered with a thick layer of sludge and fish spawning grounds have been destroyed. The slick is estimated to be more than 50 miles (80km) long and to have polluted six miles of Syrian coastline.

"Every day that passes will increase the potential damage of this tragic incident," said UN environment programme director Achim Steiner. "The spill is rapidly taking on a regional dimension. We must also be concerned about the short- and long-term impacts on the marine environment, including the biodiversity upon which so many people depend for their livelihoods and living, via tourism and fishing."

The Lebanese and Syrian governments have asked Jordan, Kuwait and other countries for help in the clean-up operation, but access to much of the spill is said to be barred by an Israeli coastal blockade.

The regional marine pollution emergency response centre, based in Malta, confirmed yesterday that the oil had reached Syria. Environmental groups in Lebanon say the pollution could reach Turkey and Cyprus.