Weblog of xuefei

Mood: not in the mood of writing my report

It's exciting to think of travelling again. On the other hand, I feel very nervous because I haven't finished my report.

Without pressure, I can't finish the task. But I also enjoy the slow of life or free of time. I should be more disciplinary. But I also want to live a free life. Isn't it a contradiction?

Today we talked about Julia again about the Christmas party in her home. She is a wonderful host and make the party so successful with a great team work.

She didn't slave herself to prepare a lot of food, but she prepared a lot of snacks. With a very romantic and cozy environment, she just facilitate people to talk with each other and enjoy meeting people. It's such a rewarding party for many people.

Trust me, this is a happy forum because it not just thinks of today or ourselves, it thinks of tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. And this way, I make life more worthwhile to live and to think.

I can communicate with our mighty and greatness and holiness.

I feel happy because I got great satisfaction in whatever I do. I feel happy because I do things for others good. I feel happy because I cook for my flatmates. I feel happy because I work for my classmates. Basically I feel happy is because I have a God in my heart!

I believe sustainable development idea will spread accross the world now since it avoids another extreme of materialism in the developed world as well as developing countries.

I feel happy because I can talk with people with my real heart and I got not much worries in any aspects. Of course I must finish my homework tomorrow. That's a great headache, but I feel happy because I care less about myself. And I feel I'm cared by his holiness.

I dreamed of seeing about four people sank in a lake last night. I didn't know what it meant. Is it meant I lost 10 pounds today?

 

Mood: great/happy

This weblog is like my little tree. Or my little baby. I love it because it's my product. I feel so excited that finally I got my own blog or website where I can put on my thoughts and someone can read it immediately. I'm so happy to see everyday there are more and more visitors to see my little tree.

I have to be very careful and give it nutrition everyday, add water and trim it so that it grows healthily. It's like my little baby. I love to work for it. Sorry that I haven't been able to put audio or video yet, but trust me, I promise I will use it in the future.

I hope I can use this blog freely all the time. I mean since I have met all these friends, I don't like to cut it off. I hope the blog brothers can give me this chance. Instead I can allocate some place for them to put on advertisement.

I know any cause needs time and efforts. I feel happy to begin now even it's still a small number of people, but it is increasing by hundreds everyday. I think this is a great sign for future development. And I believe my sustainable development idea will be spread up to more and more people.

This is the third way of solving our problems and a healthy way of life. It's a balance between extreme materialism and spiritualism. It's a combination of both, but not going any extreme. It's the healthy way to solve our problem of unequality, bigger gap between the rich and the poor. It's the way for a better life not only for us, but for all the others not only this generation, but also next generation to have a better life.

It seeks reasonable and efficient low cost use of resources so that we can achieve the maximum with rationalized resources.

I hope my little tree will grow bigger and bigger. It will become your friends too. It's just a bridge between you and me, between you and he or she or you and we. Anyway, this is a forum for the future.

How NGO can contribute to sustainable development.

We should research and give evidence to government. We raise issues through media on sustainable development. The public will act and influence government restructuring and making policies towards sustainable development.

Currently globalization is unfair for developing countries. The WTO contradicts with other UN goals such as Millenium Development Goals.

What can we do now?

I believe it is a campaign similar to anti-smoking. After many years of efforts, now a lot of places and people quit smoking and people's awareness in it is quite obvious.

I also think of another thing. Today we went to Quakers Peace and Witness. And we felt that the building itself is so good. And the organization seems ideal also. It's like that they have very high profile people. And Christian Aid is also very good organization.

Judging from this I think religious group or organizations that have strong belief definitely got strength in their organization. I think this in fact teaches us something. That is we must have a strong belief for the better. We must have a strong belief for our mission. We must have love. And we must act according to God's will. And if we seek, we will find.

Today we had a discussion about what words will disappear when we achieved the goal of sustainable development.

We say war,poverty,HIV/aids, pollution, inequality, unilateral, imbalance, nuclear weapons and others will disappear.

I believe if we can achieve peace, we will have a better development. And if we have a better development, we will get rid of poverty and disease. And without poverty we can achieve equality easier.

 

11月20日 星期六 晴有时阴 游历剑桥大学

今天，我们到剑桥大学去旅游了一趟。该活动是英国中国留学生联合会组织发起的。每人15英镑往返还加一顿午饭。我们觉得很合算，就提前举行了中国之夜活动。

我们到剑桥大学才得知原来它是由几个在牛津大学混不下去的穷教授组建起来的大学。结果它很快就成为另一个非常著名的学府。开来，辞去旧的工作未必是坏事。人生总要有几次转折。我一定要坚信未来。

我们还到三一学院去看了一下，里边有拜伦，有牛顿，门前还有牛顿的苹果树。我们曾经那样梦想的人物原来就是在这里搞发明创造的。没想到我们也有到这里的一天。我们还到基督学院去看了一下。那里的草坪上有一匹马。我想和它照相，结果相机没电了。我希望成为一匹骏马，驰骋在疆场上。纵横南北，发挥我的作用。我心依旧。

 

其实，我有许多东西需要写，但都没有写出来。我希望以后一定要尽力多写。

Bongani is a scholar from South Africa and he is learning sustainable development in the UK now. He tells about his own experience about feeling scared before he went to a test and also how man should be involved in preventing HIV/AIDS.

 

At that time, I thought I didn’t need to attend that kind of session at all because I have known all about it. Because I was a student, and I could read a book and know everything about it. But after she talked to us, I realised that I knew little about it. And I should know more about it. So I called her number and I started to work for her as a volunteer. At that time, she wasn’t working for University, but for community. AIDS center.

 

I was very very scared before I listened to her session and that was an eye-opener for me and I realized how little I knew about HIV/AIDs. So I have to get to know more so that I can protect myself. So that’s how I get involved in HIV/ AIDS at the community AIDS center.

I was scared, because at that time that was everyone’s reaction to HIV/AIDs. The fear of AIDS prevented so many people from going out to get information about HIV/AIDS, they didn’t want to discuss the topic because of fear. But I think the fear will not protect me and the best way for me was to get more information in how to protect myself if I was negative. And if I was positive, that would be the question of how to make myself live longer with the virus.

 

What was happening was most of the people attending our course were females. And particularly black females, and also white females. But very few males, .especially white males. Most of the time females. Attend. But now it was changing. Before, it was considered a health issue and if it was a health issue, people tend to think this was a female domain issue for example when a child is sick, normally it was the mother or a female who takes the kid to hospital. So HIV/AIDs is part of health issue, so men thought ok if it’s health issue, woman will attend it. What was interesting with HIV/AIDS was that when transmitting the virus, men was in the forefront, but when it turns to the issue of preventing it, they take a back seat because for example in south Africa, I think most of the case was caused by unprotected sex by sexual contacts. So any case there was a man behind it, but when it comes to prevention they take a back seat. But now it’s changing because we take a lot of strategies to involve men. We have a forum for men to talk about HIV/AIDS and how will they respond to HIV/AIDS. And we also have some programs which we want them to be partners but not the bad men or enemies in preventing HIV/AIDS. After the program we see more and more men involve in HIV/AIDS,

We had a great party at Julia's home.

 

This evening I went to see a drama at Duchess Theatre with Yuanyuan, Bill's wife.

The drama is called Little Women, performed by a troupe from America. It describes a family which has four daughters whose father was in the army.

And how the four daughters tried to find their husbands and the second one was a writer. She ended up with a German professor.

It was good even though we spent 17.5 pounds which was like a fortune for us.

When we arrived at home, it's already 11 o'clock. But Bill and Sun Wei still like to make some dumplings for tomorrow's party at Julia's home.

Dumplings or Jiaozi is a traditional food for Chinese. It's a must in north and northeast China. Especially in my home, even though all men never cook any dish, they help make dumplings in Spring Festival.

Bill is from Beijing and he's parents are from northeast China. So he can roll the wrap and make good dumplings.

We made a filling with chicken meat, eggs, mushrooms, cabage and prawns. With spice yuanyuan brings from China, it tastes wonderful.

When we finished it's 0:45 am.

We like to show our sincerity and our culture. Chinese are good at making good food. And after seeing all this modernization and sophisticated life, then we asked the British why they don't go to restaurant together very often and they said it is too expensive to go to a restaurant together.

And this is in sharp contrast with the Chinese. Chinese people like to go to restaurant very much. And they always like to go together and visited all the restaurants in Beijing. Still the restaurants make money and people are happy to eat out. In fact, when I was in Beijing I seldom cook. But outside China, I have to cook myself.

I think the best life is better life. It's not how much you earn or how much industry you have. It's how you can make life easier. When I stay in Sweden I feel each time when I buy something, it was like cutting my flesh. It's too expensive for me.

Life in China is better in food, but people are still not happy. People get more money nowadays than before, but they are not happy.

This was the same in England because survey shows that people's material life is better than before, but their happiness didn't increase at all.

In Beijing we used to say that if anyone is happy, she or he must be something wrong. Normally people are unhappy. Psychologically imbalanced. Why? Because social inequality or social gap is too big. People are not happy to see someone who is similar to him earn more money than he does.

And even he got a small payrise, he is still not happy because he didn't get enough payrise. So it's a vicious cycle that no matter how much you gain you are not satisfied.

Then we got to ask such a question, what's the standards for happiness? Is money or wealth the only way to be happy?

Why so many people are not happy nowadays?

Although survey shows that when people are upset, they tend to be stronger. But if they are always upset, they will get sick, I believe.

At the end of the day, we got to sit down and ask ourselves, what are we doing? What are we seeking?

We got to think of it. What's the meaning for life? Why are we here to live and struggle? Without answering these questions we can't be happy because we didn't have any standards for being happy.

And I find that if we got something in our heart, some standards in our heart, we are easy to feel happy or feel satisfied.

Enjoy life do good and we will live a better life. Othewise, we'll be punished!!!

Mood: good and serious

Today we had an informal debriefing about our work placement at Forum for the future. As you know I am here in London studying for a master degree in Leadership in Sustainable Development.

Our subject is mainly about leadership and sustainable in NGO section and our experiences in NGOs over the past months. It's a wonderful opportunity for us to be together.

But it seems to me that it's hard to facilitate even within these 12 students because there are always some people got some ideas. And it's hard to make consensus.

Today in fact, I think Koko and Kata made great efforts in preparing this and they even thought of a game about what we are going to do during the debriefing. But in the end, some people still suggest we should be very strict with the timing.

I think definitely there is still something for us to learn about communication. For example, Sun Wei said her supervisor always behaves very professionally. I also feel that executive director of Panos Institute Mark Wilson is also good mannered. He is always very couteous and diplomatic and smiling to people even though working in a tense and difficult situation. And that maybe is the virtue we should learn.

How to convince people to listen to you, how to convince people to believe what you said is right, it's not about loud voice, it's about enthusiasm, energy and good manner.

A lot of people might think in the long run, it doesn't matter what manner you have, but it is important if you cultivate a good habit and better communicate with people.

It just gave you great confidence and also it's good to contribute more. Since I feel I have a new beginning now, I will start to change myself in many ways. I know it's hard to change. And I have tried to change myself. It was good, but I will not only change from the appearance, but mainly change with a good heart.

It's not a tiresome heart. It's an enthusiastic heart.

I think to prepare for Wednesday's debrief, we do need a lot of preparation.

I will prepare tomorrow evening and Wednesday Morning.

 

It's amazing to know that my former colleague Zhaoyang the forthcoming CRI correspondent to London likes my website.

I'm also glad to see the site is visited everyday by about a hundred people. I can't believe it is gaining momentum.

My classmate Koko always feels excited when she talks about website. And I feel amazed about having a website of my own. You know how wonderful it is to simply to have so many friends online and you chat with each other.

Warm Homes Project

The Ministry for the Environment is leading a one-year project to investigate how families can be encouraged to make their homes more energy efficient and to install cleaner heating. The project is expected to run until June 2005.

National environmental standards, introduced in 2004, require councils and communities to deal with poor air quality in their areas. In many urban areas the major source of air pollution is home heating. One of the new standards is for new wood burners. It means that from September 2005 only approved, low emission models can be installed, to help reduce the amount of air pollution.

The Warm Homes project involves collecting data, assessing heating options, looking at best practice overseas, and investigating incentive schemes that encourage householders to choose cleaner heating. The Energy Efficiency and Conservation Authority is working with the Ministry on the project.

Why warm up NZ homes?

New Zealand homes have not traditionally been designed to be energy efficient and warm. More energy than is needed is used to heat these homes and air emissions from some home heating options, like open fires, can be far above what is necessary to actually heat the house.

Air pollution affects our ability to work, play and our health. Equally, living in a house that is below 16°C (the recommended minimum from the World Health Organisation) can lead to ill health and long-term health problems. Improving air quality will greatly improve New Zealander’s quality of life – at the same time ensuring that they use energy efficiently.

Warming up NZ homes has a wide range of benefits, including:

• Improved health – a warmer home reduces the risk of many respiratory and cardiovascular diseases.
• Smart energy use – maximising household energy efficiency.
• Making a warm home more affordable – especially for people on lower incomes.
• Reducing greenhouse gases – fewer emissions into our air means we create less greenhouse gas and protect our ozone.

What does the project involve?

We have set up two groups to provide advice on the project. The groups include technical experts in the field and representatives from local government. The project involves gathering information from other countries dealing with the same problem and commissioning new research – all with a view to developing national approach on the issue.

The new research we have commissioned includes:

• a baseline home heating survey
• a study rating heating appliances against a range of criteria
• a social drivers study to examine encouraging behaviour change
• the development of a national Home Energy Rating Scheme (work led by EECA).

The project could potentially include a national incentive scheme to encourage households to choose cleaner heating and make home energy efficiency improvements.

Updates on project progress

Keep an eye out here as we will post regular updates on the progress of the Warm Homes project.

For further information contact the Warm Homes project manager, Matt Hickman on 04 917 7409 or email warmhomes@mfe.govt.nz.

 

The photo used in this page was provided by Greater Wellington Regional Council.

Mood: Good

Today we had a wonderful CIS night. It's partly because Kata's sister and Camilla's sister came and Lara's brother also came. We have another family member is Yellow, Koko's boyfriend and Bill's wife. So all together about 18 people came over.

Lydia from Ukrain prepared wonderful Ukrain soup, Allen helps make the beautiful salad, made of carrots and cabage. Kata cooked Hungarian chicken and Camilla cooked Uzbekstan rice, which is similar to Xinjiang Ugyor's Shouzhuafan, rice with lamb or beef. Kata brought two bottles of wine from Hungary.

Lydia also prepared five more games except the previous one blinging....boblinging.....boutreblinging..........:)

I joined the joint dance with Adams Lara's brother whom I think is very handsome. At the first sight I recoganized he is Lara's brother, they are like twins. We had a good dance, but in the end, I couldn't stand on that small piece of paper with him, so we failed. But it was fun.

According to Hungarian customs, we must drink alcohol before eating any food. So everybody drinks a little wine or liquor and then start eating the Ukrain soup with yogurt. I think their food is healthier.

With the music and dance, and later came a couple who are Camilla's colleague, maybe. They are very nice talker and Koko, a journalist is also a good one who can start a good conversation.

Bill and his wife also danced and played.

Last time when Chinese night was set, they highly praised it and I thought that was unprecedented, but in fact, all nights are good nights and they all have their own varieties and special characteristics. In fact, I like these night better. With Chinese night we just present the food and nothing else. People just eat and then finished. But now Lydia made great efforts to organize games. I said she should be a good director in the future.

Anyway, this CIS night lasts the longest. So it's good.

The international scholars planned to have different nights as soon as they arrived in London to study. And they are looking forward to the next one, South African night!

 

Mood: Good

Dear Reader, today and yesterday I suddenly find visitors to my blog increases sharply, I feel so glad. I welcome you to comment and exchange ideas.

I think I will open a website which holds radio online, tv online and text online. I will do a lot of training and teaching too. I can teach journalism, legal affairs, sustainable development, ethics and values, gender issues and HIV/AIDs issues.

I think I got a lot to offer. At the same time I will have some good projects so that I can probe a PHD in the future. I got to find answers for myself, for my friends and my people.

Mood: excellent

Usually I dream of something scary. And I know that was because my heart or my leg was not in the right position. Especially when I dreamed that I was running very fast or flying in the sky, I know my feet was somewhere being pressed hard.

I like to be pressed hard. You know that men often say they dream of sex and feel relieved in the dream. And I feel that too. When I feel I have special needs, I often dream of a man whom I know before, either a colleague or a relative or a friend. And we touched each other in some ways and finally got great physical satisfaction.

But when I wake up, I know it was a real day dream. I remember once my classmate called me through cellphone in the evening about 6 o'clock. Then I was just dreaming of being very close to a man. Then suddenly the phone rings, and I woke up from my dream. Then I told her that I was having a wonderful dream. She smiled and said you are really day-dreaming.

Chinese got a saying the dreaming of getting-married means you only think of good things. And that's true for me. A lot of times if I can't realize my goal, I dream of it.

For example, I know that I will never get back to the old days with my best classmate at university. He became a diplomat which was his dream. But over the past 15 years, I bet I have dreamed of more than 15 times that he came over to me in my dream. All the time, I was doing something and he came over quietly from far away. He never said why he came over, but I know he came over for me. And I still pretend that he is nothing but a common friend or a good classmate.

I think I will never forget him in my life, but I know he is buried in the bottom of my heart and I don't like to destroy that great image in my heart. That makes my life more painful, more colorful and more worthwhile. Now I feel I have a very rich past history. But history is history.

I just like to tell you my latest dream and I bet it's great for me because subconsciously I know what I am doing.

It was like I met an old friend who I met when I was in Zimbabwe five years ago. He was an engineer and a manager in the construction industry. When we met this time, he was trying to be close to me. And as we were walking in the street, he told me that his wife was not good to him which in reality it was not true. And as we walked to a place which we were alone, he was touching me. Normally I would feel very excited feeling being touched. But this time, I suddenly said, No, please don't not touch me because you got your wife and I got my boyfriend.

And so we separated and then I woke up. I felt glad that in my dream I can behave like this. That was like a satan and I can resist the temptation. I felt good because I used to be a strong will woman and I still like to be like that. I shouldn't live a decadent life or just go with the wind.

I feel better that I got spiritual support. It's the real me and it is the good thing that I like to do and a good quality I like to have.

Mood: haha

Mrs Smithers, you have acute appendicitis.

I came here to be treated, not admired, doctor!

 

Waiter, your thumb is in my soup,

Don't worry sir, it's not hot.

Mood: very good

Life in London is special if I say it special. It really depends on the attitude and the experience. The other day during the Christmas party, I talked with Helena from Panos. She is from Sweden and especially from southern city Malmo. I told her Jan is also from Malmo and graduated from Lund University. And she said she also graduated from Lund University and graduated from Political Science. I said I learnt International Politics. What a small world! She just got her master degree and came to London and she said London is exciting!

For me, London is similar to Beijing in a way that in Tube or subway everyday there are many people taking the tube to go to work. It's amazing people are naturally choosing train and other public transport to work. A lot of people also choose to live in suburbs. Maybe because we study sustainable development and maybe because Kate is teaching ethics and values.

When Kate gives us a lecture she asked us if there are only 10 minutes walk, shall we walk to shop or drive to shop? A lot of people choose to drive and find all kinds of excuses. But as a matter of ethics and values we should walk. There are many reasons for that. No 1, we should exercise ourselves by walking. And it's only 10 minutes. No2, by walking, we will save a lot of space for cars. There will be no emmission from cars. So we have sufficient reason to do that.

I have felt tired of cars and so many people in Beijing. Maybe because most of the time I stayed in spacious places such as my hometown Jinzhou, 9 hours by train or five hours by car. My hometown is a rural village. There is a small river by the village and a lot of hills. My brother has an orchid and my father has his too. In summer my brother and my father both work in the field. But in winter my father came to Beijing.

I have been to Australia, New Zealand. Zimbabwe and South Africa. In those countries, it's always very spacious. That's why when I went to Stockholm and London, except ports and sea, I was not impressed by the tube and the crowd.

Of course the best thing for me in the tube is the artists there. Everyday, there are great artists singing in the tube. Their songs are really good. Occasionally I put a few cents to their case.

But London's sky is blue and air is fresh. Most of the middle above class area it is clean and tidy. But in my area which is east London, it was very poor and mostly ethnic minorities such as Indians, Africans and Asians are living here. And it's very dirty. I just don't know why it's so dirty.

I feel people are not very careful about littering here. They just take it for granted.

On the other hand, I don't see people quarrelling or fighting each other. This is the good aspect of English people. They are always polite and good mannered and they never bother to fight.

In the train or bus, they will try their best not to touch anyone and if by chance they touch anyone, they will immediately say sorry.

This is very good and a symbol of civilized. Generally speaking I didn't feel it's great, but I didn't feel it's annoying either. This is the best part of staying in any place for temporary. I'm sure there are also many other good aspects which I haven't found.

Partly because of my attitude. I think I am not easy to get excited now. Maybe I should drink some coffee so that I will feel not very stressful or unenergetic. But I also worry that I will get addicted to it and in the future it will affect my baby. I like to have a baby in not far future.

Today I feel very happy. Maybe because I have finished my placement. Maybe because I got air ticket, or maybe Jan called me. He sounded also very freshed. He said he went to gym to exercise. That's really good. He said his sister didn't feel very good yesterday. I think it must be because of loneliness and stress from courses.

In fact, I can continue to study. I will have a Phd. Or another master degree. And then I will work hard again. Now I like to have a break. Or should I have a break?

Nowadays, everyone prefers younger age. And if I haven't achieved anything by 40, I won't go anywhere in the future. I will make a better plan. What about you? my dear reader, my dear friend? I like to create a forum here for everyone to discuss our future.

Welcome to comment.

When I was at University of Canterbury in New Zealand, I heard a lot of people complaint about restructuring because that means a lot of people will lose their jobs.

In New Zealand to cut jobs seems to be a big thing and we saw a documentary about how Dominion cut off jobs.

It was a great pain!

Can anyboday avoid this? Very hard. As long as one puts their strategy on market, then there are a lot of unpredictable factors and some people got to go.

To avoid it, you have to keep being trained all the time and being enthusiastic and energetic all the time.

 

I came to study because i think sustainable development is the future trend. WE got to be sustainable, no other choices.

I feel not very proud of my quitting, but what can I do? Chances just come and I can't miss it. i like to continue to work in CRI if I'm given another chance.

If no chance at all, I will open a new radio for myself. I will do both website and radio and video. I will do the media all the time. I love it.

I will make a great media. I will work with a group of young people and led them to go to a better future.

I got the vision of going or choosing the right way to do things. I got the great passion to do things.

We got to do something in the future.