C'est la vie
I guess this would be the place to put these thoughts down. You know the kind. The ones that keep you awake at night and just keep your mind racing. I guess the biggest thought on my mind right now is money. Im a college student who is living off of student loans and financial aid. If I work, I wont make enough to support myself and my financial aid will lower. I dont qualify for any public assistance, as Im not married and have no children. Things are just kinda blah for me right now.
Yeah, I could ask family for help, considering I've been living off of ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese for a week now. I kid you not. Im out of milk, eggs, cheese, bread, cereal, butter. I have tea, ramen noodles, macaroni and cheese and a jar of peanut butter. I would've gotten my money [four thousand dollars] on june 22nd, but my school messed up. Now, I will be getting half either Monday or Wednesday [being that Tuesday is a holiday here in the united states]. The woman from the brusar [the financial place that releases my money at school] said that it would be later this week. Well, one problem. I leave for the beach on Sunday. My rent was due on the 1st. My cable, internet, and phone bill is 2 months late, and I have no groceries. My cats are out of litter and today just finished up their bag of food.
Im stressed.
I have classes starting up on the 26th of July. I graduate with my 4 year degree in one year. So, this time next year I'll have an actual career [hopefully]. I'll have a minor in business, so I think that will help. I just hate having to eat one meal a day just to save food for the next day. I've done nothing but cry for 2 weeks now. Today, I spent the last ten dollars to my name. I have two dollars and sixty some cents in my checking account. My credit card is maxed, oh and is a month behind.
If I ask my family for help, then there comes the reprecussions. These include, but are not limited to: throwing money up in my face at a later point, having my brothers girlfriend call me and explain how I'm a worthless human being that uses my family, constantly having my family ask how much money I have in the bank from that point in time forward, and finally - having my family explain to me how I shouldnt be living on my own and I should move back in with my mother and/or grandparents. I just refuse to do that anymore. When my brother and his girlfriend went off on me about borrowing money from my parents at a tough time [like now], I vowed I would never ask again. He, however, has borrowed to the point that my mother had to take a loan out against her retirement to keep him in his home.
C'est la vie.
Im actually rather surprised at myself. Ive been couped up in my home since June 19th. I've went to my grandparents house for one day. My man and I haven't fought. His license is expired, as well as his tags on his truck. That's something else that needs to be done before we leave for the beach. Here's whats worrying me: A) I wont get my money in time for the beach, or B) I get my money and have to pay two hundred dollars for my kitties to be boarded and one to have his shots and be fixed, pay 2 months on my cable, internet, and phone bill, explain to my landlord why I cant pay her until later this month and *hope* we don't get kicked out, pay the remaining balance on the room when we get to the beach, pay for gas down and back, then you have the normal expenses like - food - while we're at the beach, and then buying groceries when we get back. I have to do all of that with two thousand dollars. The cats and my bills are five hundred dollars. The gas and the room are at least six hundred dollars. Steve's license is one hundred dollars. Thats twelve hundred dollars right there. So that leaves eight hundred to eat on and to get groceries with. Kinda nerve-wrecking.
Well, it's 2:30am. I guess in 7 hours we'll find out if my money has been deposited into my account. By the way things have been going, I'll say that it doesnt come today and comes on Wednesday. I still have a little bit of hope. If it does come tomorrow, I will be a lot less stressed, less hungry, and less tired. It really sucks losing sleep over something like money. As I said, hopefully this time next year, I wont have this problem.
