Feeling seriously down about school!
Maybe it's just a phase and I'll pass through it, but presently I am feeling seriously fed up with teaching my boys - and I think they are equally fed up with me!! I feel like I'm flogging a dead horse and not much is going in.
I can see that they are making progress (well some) in Maths and English, but any other subject - the 'fun stuff' is nothing but a grind to all of us. I rack my brains and spend many hours searching out new and inventive ways of presenting material and trying to make it all a bit more 'hands-on', but as soon as more than the most miniscule amount of brainwork is required I get tantrums and fooling around to the point where we all loose it with one another! Today I asked the boys to do a small amount of reading (four little one-paragraph job descriptions of egyptian jobs) while I went to photocopy a worksheet, but they could not even do that together without hitting each other and pulling hair - they fought over which way to read the page, left- right, left- right, or top-bottom, top-bottom!
Then the simple little worksheet was set for them to work on together. It should have taken them no time at all - with a little imagination and thought - but it took them over an hour + fooling time and they ended up missing swimming lessons again (another £14 down the plug) because even when we told them to stop (worksheet still unfinished) they couldn't get their shoes and jumpers on quick enough to get there in time.
I know this is moan, moan, moan, but that's what a blog is for is it not?...!
I really am not for the 'unschooling' approach as I couldn't cope with the disjointedness and actually don't think my boys would be capable of choosing what to do next. Their interests lie in football, skateboards and fooling around - and I'd struggle to find a way to make those very educational! There are constant 'carrots' being dangled as incentives (like "we can play a game together if you get your work done well today" - Jacob especially loves games), but none seem to be inviting enough, or the removal of them deterent enough to motivate him, or his brother, to get on and work. I do not wish to have to hover over shoulders for the entire day, constantly nagging them to 'get on' - that is no fun for anyone. 
Jacob did end up at the punishment desk three times today and he did get his work done better there, (seems he simply cannot work in the presence of any form of distraction at all - visual or audible - minimise them and it helps some), but the Egypt project I really want them to work on together, so I couldn't use it for that. Both boys ended up being given 'lines' (before tea) once they'd eventually finished - "We will work sensibly together" - it was the most immediate & detestable punishment I could think of!
Do I just give up on joint projects, which would seem to be such a shame when to my mind there is so much benefit in them covering stuff together? Plus it would be incredibly difficult to teach them both everything separetly - not enought time in the year and we all need a life outside of school too!! As it is we really haven't covered all I wanted to this year - and I see no means of doing so now either (not enough time left) - and mainly because everything takes so much longer than I plan for it to. We're pretty much up to date with Maths and English, but all other subjects are lagging behind somewhat. We have no way covered a year of Science or Geography, History, Art, or any of those other 'extension' subjects that I had hoped to do more of this year. We have done some, don't get me wrong, just not enough I fear. I'm sure the boys are learning, but perhaps not as broadly as they might as school - and I am sure that bredth of knowledge is almost more important than depth of knowledge at this age. I would like to sweep everything at a 'covering' level and re-approach things later in more depth, however I feel we're not even doing that well at the moment. I am seriosly on the verge of considering school for them both, but I can see lots of reasons why I don't want to go there really. I hate the thought of what Jacob especially might soak up there - he is not the most discerning of little boys! And am pretty convinced it would not help either boy's over-all attitude and behaviour much at all - it would simply be me 'passing the buck' of my responsibilities on to someone else - NOT a good motive I guess
But I am at the point where I am really not enjoying schooling at all. I can get myself as motivated as I like, and fire myself with all kinds of new approaches, but to pass on that motivation to my boys is a completely different matter.
It's not just school either, it's everything that seems like a slog at the moment - daily chores, co-operation with anyone else in the family... Everything is an up-hill struggle with both boys, but always with oldest more than youngest.
Anyway - they are in bed now - "sorry"s said on both sides (mine and theirs) - intentions & desires for tomorrow made clear - tears shed, etc... We'll see what tomorrow holds!
Moan over - and still no baby here. I do worry what effect all my high stress levels might have on the poor little one! 


The most important thing in your life is your relationship with your boys. Firstly you are their mummy. Teaching them is just another addition to that. You are not their teacher ( took me a LONG time to learn that one!). They need to see you as mummy and respect you for that. I very much doubt they will see your goals in the same way as you do - they are too young.
I doubt vey much if I have said what I want to say in the way that I want to say it so please don\'t take any offence :-)