how could i possibly have all these music ready for recording before 30th Jan?
for gawds sake...i cried. no i gotto be strong.
now that i start to build my future, you're the main component.
call it dumb call it love but everywhere i go i keep your picture in my cell like here.
Mood: i d k, cant care anymore.
i need the scholarship to carry on. time for me to pick up the work rate. hopefully i couldve met the standard within the deadline. i just have to carry on.
practize
i gotta starty revising, cuz if i were granted the scholarship, my final exam needed to be started almost 3 weeks earlier. thats a lot of time. and also, i didnt do well in my mid term so...hah..life's gonna be busy.
My mom says everything would pay off. mommy i trust you
yay. I become the Principal finally.
there hasnt been anything special, nothing bad at least.
hope my late submission for the Aspen Music Festival and School could be accepted.
I REALLY HAVE TO PICK UP MY WORK RATE BY NOW.!
Mood: feeling weak
if there were no selfish people in this world, we will live in peace. there would not be so many people sufferring. we will live happily. everything is fair, our hard work will be as equal as we earn in the end.
i wish...
Mood: i d k
mom's still sick. im sick too. lol
hmm i need money to go to this music festival. .
oh shit. i know i shouldnt keep thinking of the past. but recently, so many things happen and i just cant help to stop looking back.
i need to find some ways to make money...sth like a bursary or a sponsorship would be cool. oh haha, my friend told me to sell my 1st time to others...lol i wont do that.
sigh...i afraid. im scared of the road ahead.
the only thing i could do right now is to practize hard.
well im off to take a shower.
bye diary.
Mood: a bit lost, but okay
today,mom is still sick. dad's still out at work
hmm i wonder why cant my orchestra position the musicians by their ability?
i wanna go for this music festival and that masterclass,so badly.its going to cost some bits of money.at the moment, i dont dare to ask my parents about it. last chirstmas was tough enough for my family. Probably, dad and mom will be upset again as they might not be able to afford it. i wonder why my uncles did such terrible things to my dad. which made us eventually lost everything.
oh sebstian sebastian...you've hurt me enough. after last lesson, i was completely shattered. i cant even stand up to defend for myself. so please... i did not mean to be so indifferent to you recently. i dont forget things easily, especially for those special time. it's impossible for me to forget every seconds we spent together, they linger in my memory forever. it's not solely your fault, its our fault? i dont know. i wonder if there's another you in this great big world, a person just like another me.haha. we do make a perfect pair but..destiny,perhaps...if we both were born in another place and time, this moment might be ending in a kiss. but hey! what more can i ask for, from a complete stranger whom i met in the beginning
honesly, i already detached myself from all the tangible surrounds and entered into one owns state of consicousness. i should learn from my life, every day life but not just only from 1 /2 particular subjects.
alright. this is for today.
ciao
Mood: can't possibly be any worse
i am completely shattered my heart's gone sour too
please stop you're hurting me
