WONDERS NEVER CEASE
Well last night didn't stop when I logged off, went to close up the barns and found my wife's smallest goat having a baby. Have you ever seen a pygmy goat, they are maybe seventeen inches tall, only this one called Honey is maybe thirteen inches if that. So no big deal, you just wait for it to pop out. I flashed the lights and my wife came running with cloth for drying off the new born, only it didn't come out, and it didn't come out, and we waited some more and it didn't come out! Finally a nose appeared and I thought this was it, only it didn't come out. Well I've delivered a lot of different babies over the years, from cats, dogs, horses, cows, even goats, and a couple of times humans, but this was going to be my trial in life. I knew that two fingers was about all that I would be able to insert into this little goat and two fingers can't grab anything. So I prayed and then gave the goat a strong squeeze at base of her tail, and out poped a head. What a relief, now I had some thing to work with. A gentle tug behind the ears and it came out right now, no waiting. Thank you, thank you, thank you. All done I thought as I left for coffee and a smoke. What's that the lights are flashing, so at a run back to the goat barn I went. As soon as I came through the door and saw my wife I knew my trials weren't over and how could this little goat do this to me. Another baby, where could she have hid this one, she's not that big. So I waited, and waited, and waited, finally about 2:30 am my wife went to the house to rest. At 3:30 am I knew it was upon me, and I would have to do something, but what, two fingers. So lubricant jell on my two fingers I inserted and felt a leg, no head just the leg, and I knew this was wrong, so what do I do now, with two fingers? Well push the leg back in a voice said and two fingers went inside again. There it was the head, the ears,and the neck. WAIT, WAIT, this is wrong I need a nose, but where is the nose? Down under the ears that voice said, and out loud I asked how with two fingers do I get the nose up to the opening. Push the baby back into the mother until the nose comes up, the voice said. So with two fingers I push on the head forcing the ears back and the nose came up, only there were my two fingers. What now I wondered and the voice said grab the lower jaw and pull. Pull, how do you pull with two fingers and no thumb, you use a scissor grip and pull, and out came the head, oh what a relief. But the head looked dead, and if so I still need to get the rest out. I gently wiped the tiny head and grasped behind the ears to pull, and a eye opened scaring me so that I pulled and out it came. What a joy, this was and I couldn't stop saying THANK YOU, THANK YOU, all the way to the house and even getting into bed at 6:00 am I was still saying THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
