God's Blog

Huh? Wha? Oh, howyiz? Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh my feckin' head. That was some party alright. Y'know sometimes I wish there was a higher deity than me, just so I could curse him from here to next year for creating hangovers. Ah, careful now before you jump in and tell me there is only one god and he's eternal. Well there are older gods of course, there's Dana, the Mammy for a start, but she did not invent hangovers, in fact she's suffering too at the moment having been at the rare ould stuff for the best part of a month. And even oulder than her is Himself, The Ancient of Days. Himself is so ould he was already senile in the heid when Mammy was a little girl. All she's ever heard him say in two billion years is "I am." Won't you look at him now, being spoonfed a bit of broth by Niamh* of the Golden Hair, a real little cutie (don't you think she looks a bit like Ghost Girl?) the ould looby is dribbling half of it down his ganzie. Hey, listen to this: Hey, ancient of days, are you alright there? (AoD) I am. And are you ready for the football on TV this afternoon Ancient of Days? (AoD) I am Are ye having a little bet on us to beat the Norse Gods United, Ancient of Days? (AoD) I am Are you fondling young Niamh's bottom there Ancient of Days? (AoD) I am Heh - heh - heh. And what did you get for Christmas Ancient of Days? (AoD) I am Y'see what I mean. Mammy always said I had a wicked sense of humour. Seriously though, his real name is Jah, the Unifying Thought but he's forgotten that. He has a couple of younger brothers, they're alright fellas actually. There's Ea, the cosmocrator and Hev the friend and protector of humankind, now I'm not saying he plays for the other side, but if they were a man down he'd probably be willing to help them out, if you know what I mean. See Hev is confused as the ancient scriptures says he's a woman but the people who worship him insist he's a man. The confusion is making him so confused his mind is not on the job which is why I spend so much time covering for him and all of us ould gods are making a comeback. But then we always knew we were ever your only hope of salvation. Which, if you could see us all this morning, would leave nobody in any doubt that you are in very deep shit. END *Pronounced Neevh (as near as we can represent it in the Roman alphabet) Footnote: OK Jamryn, put it together Jah - hev - ea. Next time Ogma comes round he will be explaining how the Aramaic (Hebrew) alphabet used in the Middle East relates to the Beth Luis Nion alphabet of Ancient Hyperboria (Britain). Hev is confused about his sexuality because he is the spirit that moves on the face of the waters from Genesis - and what spirit or energy moves on the face of the waters? The Moon's gravitational field that causes the monthly cycle of tides of course. Can you think of another monthly cycle ruled by the Moon? Well us guys are not supposed to discuss that so the moon spirit must be a female. But I'll leave Dana to talk about that. Boggart Blog