tick, tick, whurr
The inevitable has happened.
Josh is leaving uni in two weeks. It's official. He has told his parents, and they seem to be coping better than I thought they would. In actual fact it's me that's not coping.
I thought I'd be over joyed. This is all I've wanted for a year and a half, now that it's happened I'm terrified, and guilt ridden.
If it wasn't for me he would have loved uni more. I mean he still wouldn't have done his work, he's just not disciplined enough - he's just too young. Some people are grown up twenty year olds, some people aren't.
I am of course excited about seeing him more, and about not having to go up to Bristol all the time. All I really want is for him to be happy. But I also know that I am not ready to live with him. I am scared that I'll get pressured into something I'm not ready for.
Essentially it boils down to the fact that I really don't like change. This change is big and it scares me a lot.
