No Man is an Island
I'm scared by how much my life is controlled (is that the right word) by the choices that other people make, especially the people closest to me.
I feel out of control and like I know best, and am screaming the answer at the top if my voice but everyone is oblivious to what I'm saying. How do I even know I am right. What i think might be based on pure selfishness, or it might be what is actually best for both of us.
Either way I have to stand back and let him do what he needs to. This is his decision to make not mine and I know that I need to just bit my tongue sometimes. But I hate being in limbo. I am perhaps even more of a control freak than I ever realised. I find it hard to just sit back and let life take it's course, I always feel the need to be trying to fix things and move them on at a pace that is unnaturally fast.
I dont want another three years of this. I feel like my life is at a standstill while I watch and wait and get more and more insane with jealousy. ARGH!!!
