**All About Me **

Mood: good

I really don't like mondays!!...The beginning of a new week, But also of new opportunities.... Time just seems to be flying by way to quick... I can't believe that i'm 20... Wow I can remeber when i was like i wish i was older i wish i was an adult but children never realize what comes with being older and it is so funny because any adult will tell children you can wait to grow old trust me but the children will say NO i can't wait,  i've noticed that the older you get the quicker time flys, but when i'm at work i just want the day to go by so quick and then  i think why???... So tomorrow can come and i can go back to work it is a vicious circle ...... ahhh... the bad news just keeps on commin... life can kill ya you know not litterally but it can  kill your happieness... I feel the people who can stay happy through the bad times are the strongest... I'm really worried the way time is going, well my step dad is getting worse and my papa who is now in palitive care at the hospital.... man this year is not a good year for my family but we try to stay strong just somtimes it is way to over whelming... Sometimes you just don't know what to do with the thoughts in your head you eigther just want to freak out and break stuff or you just want to get drunk and not think at all but then the next day the thoughts are still there it is a constant emotional battle just to be happy but when you have death all around you you seem to appreciate more of the life that you have...

Mood: great
Listening to: bob marly no woman no cry

Yay today is my favorite day yes.... cause it's my day yup my birthday and i'm at home right now with sylvie drinking beer.....I'm having a really great day today i got to visit my papa in the hospital... i've missed him so much...Well I'm going now to pary....

and remember always have fun...!!!!!

Mood: good

This weekend i went out with adam to his friends house we had some really good food somthing called jumbalie (I don't think that i spelt that right hehe..) It has sausage and shrimp and chicken in it mixed with rice and cooked in a chicken broth... some versons of jumbalie also have shark!!>> and we had hot wings and moose ribs but i didn't have any of that and we had regular ribs. and galic bread... it was so good..... yummmy... We also played a game of Poker which of coarse i lost booo..... what ever adam payed my buy in which was 5 buckes per person. i was supposed to pay him back but i forgot, oooppps.... Well I had a good time.. We drank quite a bit we had a german drink i can't spell and i drank 6 moose light and 2 alpine and some red wine it was grose... I also went and hung out with Sylvie on Monday we got home early and went and drank some mud slides and strawberry something and mocha something and beer. i had a good time with her too.... i usually don't drink very much but i have found myself wanting to go out and get right drunk maybe cause i want to not think at all.... It is starting to get kinda busy here at work.... I'm excited i'm going to visit my papa in the hospital tomorrow morning i can't wait to see him I have a poem that I am going to give him I have to now!!!!!!......Peace 

Mood: good
Listening to: queen song called bohemian rhapsody

I know i haven't wrote anything in here for a bit but i can't think of anything to write just the same old shit. Nothing real interesting ever happens. But to be honest i don't want to much going on eigther cause that somtimes can make things hard!! My Grampie who has cancer (the type of cancer he has is called Sarcoma, it is a cancer of the connective tissue such as muscle, blood vessels, bone ect..)Well we found out some good news. The type of cancer that he has is treatable, i am so happy i thought the worst of coarse cause i didn't want to set my self up to just get hurt.So hopefully everything works out great and i get to keep him for another 20 years.

On the lighter side work is stupid i mean if i was doing somthing that i enjoyed then it wouldn't be so bad but somedays i literally dred coming into work but to be honest it is the people who keep me here. i have fun joking and talking with the people at work. i wish my mom still worked here it was so fun with her but she had to quit so she could take care of my step dad cause he is sick.

I went on a date last night with my Adam we went to harvey's  he is so cute. I love him sooo... much i could never discribe how he makes me feel. I you have ever been in love then you know what I'm talking about, it's this warm butterfly feeling even when you hear their voice. and the feeling never goes away it just gets stronger and stronger!!! Adam is really a great person, i can remeber when we first started dating my friends used to get so mad at me because all that i ever talked about was adam non stop and i'm sure that would get really annoying especially when you are not interested in what i was saying. after a while i just stopped talking about him so much i'm certainly not saying i like him any less. Adam is my very best friend and i hope to share the rest of my life with him...

Listening to: nothing yet but i'm going to put somthing on

It Is November 5th, I Quit Smoking On October 1st. So It Has Been 36 Days. I Am Pretty Proud Of My Self. I Wasn't Sure If I Was Going To Be Able To Do It. But I Have Had A Lot Of Supprt From My Boyfriend Adam. He Is Great, He Has Taught Me So Much.

My Papa Which Is MY Mothers Father Has Been Diagnosed With Cancer But We Are Not Sure How Bad It Is. He Has Been In The Hospital For 4 Weeks Now. They Let Him Leave Today For A Couple Hours, So He Came To Visit My Step Dad, Cause He Is In A Wheel Chair And Can't Go Visit Him. He Told My Dad That He Will Meet Him In Heaven. I Think That He My Papa Thinks He Isn't Going To Make It. I Feel So Bad For My Mom And Everyone Else Of Coarse But First Her Father In Law (my grampie) Died April 8th, Then My Nan (also her grandmother) Was 101 Years Old And She Died On May 3rd, Then Her Best Friend Shirly Has Caner Through Her Whole Body And Is Going To Die, Then Her Husband (my stepdad) Has Been Diagnosed With ALS.(the entry before this one explains what ALS is) And He Is GoingTo Die, Now Her Father (my Papa) Is Going To Die That Is 5 People In The Year 2005 That Are Dieing Soon. It Is To Hard To Deal With.                                          I'm Going To Miss Them All So Much!

Sylvie I Called You Tonight Just To See If Your Phone Was Working I Can't Wait Until I Get To See Your Apt.

Mood: good
Listening to: nothing

Today i accually woke up on time for work. Well i woke up at 9:11 this mourning my bus came at 9:25 so i had time to get ready. It doesn't really take me long. ~It is really cold out side today it was when i was waiting for the bus. I think that it is getting warmer though. Just check my pixie it'll tell you how cold it is.

My step dad's doctors were at my moms house this mourning checking him out and they gave him his flu shot. I'm really worried that he is going to get the flu or somthing to make things worse for him. He has a disease called ALS

My dad's form of ALS is "Familial" ALS (FALS) means the disease is inherited. Only about 5 to 10% of all ALS patients appear to have genetic or inherited form of ALS. In those families, there is a 50% chance each offspring will inherit the gene mutation and may develop the disease.

What is ALS?
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease, is a progressive neuromuscular disease.

ALS is characterized by a progressive degeneration of motor nerve cells in the brain (upper motor neurons) and spinal cord (lower motor neurons). When the motor neurons can no longer send impulses to the muscles, the muscles begin to waste away (atrophy), causing increased muscle weakness.

ALS does not affect impair a person's intellectual reasoning, vision, hearing or sense of taste, smell and touch. In most cases, ALS does not affect a person's sexual, bowel or bladder functions.

ALS is often referred to as a syndrome because the disease becomes apparent in various patterns. ALS occurs rarely and spontaneously. Currently, there is no cure for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Making it a fatal disease!