Mood: still ill :(
Listening to: king ceaser - head automatica
WOW MY WEEKEND WAS SO COOL! well daryl is back and he's changed his name to jake and so much happened it was amazing but i wanna paraphrase here coz i have work to do but we made our own country and just got drunk as usual and had a wicked time. me and sian are probably on the way to ending coz she cant take the long distance and is starting to get a bit stressy with me for some silly reasons like i never text her (NO BLOODY CREDIT!!!!!) and i wanted to see everyone so much on sunday i did kind of ignore her but not all the itme i tried and i got a kinda grunt out of her when i first came down went right over to her and made a big efffort so i thought she wanted it to be a friendly much about day and stuff but grr my fault i guess. school is cool now really i never found it unbearable but im really starting to have a kind of spring in my step its not gonna be living for the weekend much longer its gonna be living all week which is gonna rock! anyway in all honesty, in my heart i know that me and sian are gonna end i always kinda knew after athe first 2 weeks it started going a bit down in my ind and soon as i go back to school she doesnt think seeing me once a week in enough if we're going out. true but thats the way my life has to be, im not arrogant enough to think i would ever have a relationship at school lol but even if i could i really am sure unless it was really really special or somthing amazing i would not go out with anyone at bryanston because otherwise whenit ends it divides friends and thats never good. im turning into francesca....freiends before lovers! but am i? i mean i choose to hang out with friends yeah but if a lover is trying to snuggle up to me etc im not gonna say no i'm with my mates bugger off. so thinking about it no i am not but i do value friendships so highly like she does but then who doesnt value friendships highly. guess im not so much like her (phew) i mean yeah she's a lovely but we just dont match each other anymore so i just am happy in the knowledge we used to be friends really i man if sheis honest with ehrself were not friends anymore she will argue the toss on that one because she doesnt like the losing of friends but i accept it as part of changing it all started with the joke me and abi pulled on her and hayley which started to make them REALLYconsider me a different person than what i used to be and guess over time they have had it confirmed that imnot gonna be a cross between a tink and a chav just so i can hangout with them! i like my gothy/rocky/indie kinda looks and attitude lol depends onmy mood the relation of goth to indie etc if u get wot i mean! but i just think that she cant accept what she is....a trendy/skirt....i mean i told her she was vanilla...she got offended so i asked her wot she does that makes her not vanilla....silence was heard! so i asked her a few quesions baout kinky gopings on in the bedroom she is into...blatand disgust for even simple things! lol oh well her loss :p lol anyway im off to do some work *sigh* updates will be more often now since i have so much more free time!
