http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo just a little diary about me en stebbo stebbo Wed, 05 Nov 2008 15:09:02 +0100 daily 1 it seems like life at uni is not very good, all weekends i spent locked away with my girlfriend and all the rest of the time i am walking round like a shell of a person not really caring about anything except seeing her again. life at uni is failing my friendship group has been torn apart and uni work is nto going so well especially  with me retaking most of the first year, yet im worried im becoming like those people who leave school at GCSE's and think they can make a life, am i giving up a life of easy living for lotty? it upsets me because it does in no way bother me if i left uni and moved in with her, but is that the right thing to do? 12grand of debt i will be in and i really should have worked harder but i just want to be with her, life without lotty for these two years has pushed me to limits and i have not ever doubted my future with her at all that is the only strong connection in my life so at the moment i am working hard at uni but already foreseeing that i am going to eb dropping out at... Wed, 05 Nov 2008 15:09:02 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/can-you-ever-love-someone-too-much/192/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/can-you-ever-love-someone-too-much/192/ its middayish and im sat in my room drinking wine! got an exam today i just know im going to fail, got me down a bit but ill survive!! lotty is amazing still had an awesome week with her when i should have been revising for this trest, brought coursework back, it didnt get done...why not? one man...jeremy kyle! anyway things are going good ive asorted out my hosue for next year! gonna be awesome lol living with chatterbox andy! just need tosgn and borrow money from parents for the deposit!! Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:09:27 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/just-a-random-blog/191/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/just-a-random-blog/191/ so i go to buy food, forget my 3 pounds which is my net worth right now, driving home after buying the milk for my angel delight i get cut upby a twat and almost smash up my car, get home and the internet is down so i cant do anything but then the guy from it services turns up and asks me for help with the switch...blithering idiot. anyway just a rant today that today wont be good till i see lotty in a few hours! Fri, 22 Feb 2008 16:39:03 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/everything-is-gay-today/190/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/everything-is-gay-today/190/ just re-read all of my blog...all of it, its a fuckign sunday morning 10:30 and ive read 3-4 years of my lifes worth of miseries, i love spending time thinking back but this means i never look forward, need to have a kick up the ass to be honest! uni is ok b ut andy told lottie c-s that everyone is getting pissed off at her because she is being such a stubborn btich and ruining things for everyone, many bitchy stories i could tell but thats not really the point of this entry, andy confronted her when i had no plans of doing so. I feel like ive been lying to myself about my face upt o everything between matres policy and maybe im not so straight forward with my friends, so this is my pledge to tell mates what i feel no matter how critical it may be if i feel it. i know it wont happen but i want to try! Sun, 10 Feb 2008 11:34:42 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/i-did-a-silly-thing/189/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/i-did-a-silly-thing/189/ wow its only been a day and im writing another entry! been a bit down for th last couple of days and its only getting worse, personally i blame not seeing lotty in a long time but there are other possible uni factors like work or friendship strains right now. it would be nice just to have a bit of time to myself but alas a house full of six people that will never happen im gonna go to bed soon its 9 oclock and i can ahrdly keep my eyes open after toby came back ratted at about 4 in the morning, i couldnt sleep anyway but he begins to blare his drum n bass. i dont really mind except the lack of sleep has probably made me grouchy. really dont wana have to tidy my room tomorow, did a full clean of the kitchen head to tail and i just cant handle doing my room, not tonight anyway, maybe tomorow it will be different! you never know lol it will be fun. Tue, 27 Nov 2007 22:03:33 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/am-i-getting-back-to-my-blog/188/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/am-i-getting-back-to-my-blog/188/ me and lotty are in a fully stable and happy relationship, the problem being i am at university in bristol...UWE to be exact and im doing ocmputer science, really hard work its been hard geting back into the working frame of mind after a year of bumming around. its weird to think i started this blog 3 years ago and it still feels like a bastion of peace for my mind. well anyway things are really different now, ive never really...properly had a gf where not seeing her was hard, with ali it was similar but not so extreme in feelings as with lotty, i dont wanna say shes the oneincase i jinx it but i am truly happy with her. the distance is such a strain though im past crying myself to sleep and i do jus sit up msot nights mising her unless im out on the piss, which is hardly ever now im skint as ive never been before in my life im scared about running out of food money, i know mum and dad could help me out but how can i expect to lerarn anything about money if i go to them wheni spend all my money on beer... Tue, 27 Nov 2007 00:22:22 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/a-lot-has-changed-since-my-last-blog/187/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/a-lot-has-changed-since-my-last-blog/187/ amazing time at download i had with lotty made her decide she has completely fallen in love with me, i tell her i dont want to go out with her and suddenly its her telling me she never wants to see me again and we should just end what we have? and she says she feels used... actually cant decide if im angry or sad right now think im just gonna get excessively drunk now, work tomorow is going to be a bitch, i dont even have lotty to cheer me up now. lifes a bitch, it seems like my blogs cant ever be happy for more than a few entries at a time :@( Wed, 13 Jun 2007 10:39:08 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/im-confused/186/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/im-confused/186/ well ive just finished taking down the goat pen and boy is that a sweaty job, feels good to do some manual labour for once lol! very manly!  i think that its about time for me to stop seeing everyone all the time, stop going down the skatepark, stop trying to spend as much time with lotty as she will allow, which i feel wont be much these days anyway and concentrate on saving money for uni, download and blackpool all in one month is going to kill my credit cards. decided to go biking with vikki last night, she is cool to work with but boy does she whine about going too fast or too far eugh girls! me and sam should start biking and i agreed to meet him with vikki btu the bugger didnt turn up! grrrr anyway it feels good to be on my bike again but boy does my gooch (sp) hurt! guess im not used to doing that much so soon but the rest of me is fine so its nice to know i havnt lost all of my fitness but i still dont think im the psycho who finishes an xc session a few hours later than everyone else... Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:55:53 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/manual-labour-stebbo/185/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/manual-labour-stebbo/185/ answer is im not sure yet lets se, just got abck from a lads weekend out in blackpool, what can i say? i pulled a womanwhow as married with 2 kids and played her like a puppet! felt good to know she was married! apart from that there was no other girls but meh i have girls close to me back home so it never bothers me. lotty did a really stupid thing which angered me to shit, she's pissed off at me so i ring up to find out why all i get is oh your a cunt fuck off and she throws her phone somewhere, forgets to hang up and her and her faltmate and their clsoe mate wiggy were discussing me and how lotty is so much better than me and how much better she can do and wow, every word of it was true. still i cant let that bother me because were going to download together and i cant wait!  i think it will be a blast! i cant wait for my first ever download! me and ali are getting along well and i cant wait to see her again its good that were close mates and its true i do still love her and im... Tue, 05 Jun 2007 16:05:25 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/can-it-be-any-better/184/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/can-it-be-any-better/184/ my world hase been turned upside down and then put in a hoover and then the bag has been broken and pieces have been scattered everywhere. is it all bad? no but everything is different now. i got the balls to break it off with ali, we had an amazing relationship but we did nothing but argue, now were staying mates and for once in my life were on good terms a week after break up day, one week tomorow i will have been single and boy has it been weird, when i go out im actually checking girls out and enjoying not having the guilt attached if i check out a fit girl. i love ali to bits i really do but things were driving us insane and i saw her on friday after the break up and things were good we really will be good friends but was sleeping with her that day a mistake? fucking amazing sex it was really emotionally driven and i dont wanna become fuck buddies but once every now and then i were both single surely cant harm anyone right?  me and lotty are really close now i share everything with her and... Mon, 21 May 2007 13:38:46 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/a-lot-has-happened/183/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/a-lot-has-happened/183/ we've all seen it, cruising around forums and abouta milion people have the phrase "you laugh because im different, i laugh because your all the same"   is this phrase now so overly used that it is, infact everyone being the same? STOP USING THAT PHRASES ITS ANNOYING  Sun, 15 Apr 2007 10:25:07 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/just-something-i-wanna-share-with-you-bloggers/182/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/just-something-i-wanna-share-with-you-bloggers/182/ why is it ali can scare me shitless into thinking we are going to break up? i know ive pissed her off somehow but instead of telling me what is wrong she beats around the bush and scares me shitless half an hour before work and im in floods of tears, this seems to be the month of break ups, gina and jake, lotty and richard, sarah and whatever his name is. im fucked in the head and all im doing is tryna sort out other peoples lives feeling like it is now up to me to be the couple that everyone loks up to that will never break up and now im scared shitless all i can see is her smiling face and her elegance in the way she walks. everything i know and love about her just seems to have been amplified by about a million times and all i can see is her everywhrtr i go and ive been thinking fo ra while about quitting work and spending time with her, but as ali pointed out when i suggested this i will need the money and since she works 3 shifts a day sometimes i wont see much of her anyway. i hate not seeing her all... Fri, 13 Apr 2007 11:38:57 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/how-can-she-do-this-to-me/181/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/how-can-she-do-this-to-me/181/ this way didnt get a singel donation last year but you never know...ali is doing race for life again this year raising money for cancer research uk...a causeclose to my heart with my familys bad history with cancer so please donate if you can online at http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/alimunro Sun, 18 Mar 2007 18:30:58 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/just-a-quick-plea/180/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/just-a-quick-plea/180/ well all have journeys in life, some are long travels to find ourselves, but i thihnk, truly, the greatest journey in our lives is the one to fight our inner demons, maybe what ive been searching for in my life has just been hiding behind an age old wall or hate, anger and depression, if you know you have the protection of true friends and love all around you then you really have nothing to fear, i dont care what people say, love isnt a myth and it does exist, even in a society full of hatred and racism, there is love for each other which will slowly dissolve and cure the hatred in the world. my journey has been one of struggling to keep my identity unique and to not taint it with whatever people around me want, particularly when i was at bryanston because i never felt at home there, but i know if i had been more open to change and less of an annoyance i would have fitted in perfectly, does it bother me? well no because would i be who i am today if i hadnt had the experience of being the social pariah (sp)... Sat, 03 Mar 2007 11:38:30 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/journeys/179/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/journeys/179/ today for the first time ever im angry at ali, in a proper way, i cannot handle seeing anyone today i want a day of being a hobbit and seeing noone coz she made me feel like shit this morning, she rang me and woke me up at midday after a night of having no sleep thanks, once again to me having far too much red bull on our night out because im just too lazy to change my drinking habbits to coke when i drive, and anyway with it being the same price, all drink 1.50 and red bull usually being more expensive its also a nice treat, anyway i digress, so im woken up and because i cant think straight and i cant remember what time im sup-posed to see her or if im supposed ot pick her up form work today she just has a go at me and really made me realise im a shithead. i can never remember anything i make plans and forget them in a few hours. i never used to be like this and after talking to ali im starting to think there is something wrong with me and that bloody diary i ordered off ebay to make bookings in to help... Wed, 07 Feb 2007 16:19:11 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/today-suck/178/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/today-suck/178/ Emacs the Elephant Emacs the Elephant hacked her source and said goodbye to the DrOsS box Off she went with a binary dump Dump, Dump, Dump Emacs the Elephant hacked her source and headed back to her UNIX Room enough for a binary dump Dump, Dump, Dump The head of G-NU was Stallman far, far away By night they met on the Internet with no need for overlays So Emacs the Elephant hacked her source and said goodbye to the DrOsS world Off she went for a binary dump Dump, Dump, Dump. Tue, 30 Jan 2007 02:31:01 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/nelly-the-elephant/177/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/nelly-the-elephant/177/ ouch, lottie has now denounced our friendship because she cant handle the chemistry between us yet we both have very perfect relationships, its fair to say there is chemistry and im not ashamed to admitt it lol but i love ali too much to ever leave her. but god does she have to cut off our friendship? ive been deleted from her myspace, probably from her phone and anywhere else too. makes me feel really down to think that ive lost a good friend, really didnt htink it would get this far but it has and boy does that suck, i know its beck's doing not lotties which just makes it worse because lottie would never not want to know me, thats impossible, once again ive lost someone close to me because their best friend dissapproves. can life ever get much harsher? Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:32:54 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/while-i-was-at-work-i-lost-a-good-friend-today/176/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/while-i-was-at-work-i-lost-a-good-friend-today/176/ ali phoned me again crying last night and boy did i not know what to do one again, its getting to me really badly now, she obviously has an issue with me because she said she couldnt see me today because she will just cry on me, and being a girl when i asked her about it all i got was no nothings wrong, now all us guys have learned im sure that when a girl says theirs nothing wrong? were not gonna get anything more out of them until they want to tell us so i gave up made sure i was coming over today and i will give her some extra special tlc. i dunno what else to do im at a total whits end, i think my obsession with getting 2 computers built isnt helping but but oh god the opposite sex sure as hell confuses me a lot! extra problem with sarahs computer im building is that once everything is plugged in i decided to give it a basic test... no power comes on so grrrrrrr i think ive fucked up big time, so im gonna have to take it into mantis and have them tell me somethignm it hink i already know, ive fucked... Mon, 29 Jan 2007 12:16:01 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/problems-keep-piling-on-up-lol/175/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/problems-keep-piling-on-up-lol/175/ lol was thinking for a while how amazing life is and how cool it is, then the fucking pigs pull me for not indicating round a roundabout and having a busted tail light and end up breathalising me!!? ha ha bastards suck coz i was sober behind the wheel that time!! losers! so yeh i got to keep the hwite bit i blew into which is cool it reminds me not to drink and drive...its not cool kids im never gonna do it again now!building myself a new computer which is being gay and fucking twatish! even with a haynes guide its a cunt theres a bit on it the haynes guide says we just ripped out coz it was too hard but i was determined to m,ake it work, till i riped out all my hair and cried myself to sleep and slit my wristds with a plastic knife...ok not that bad but fuck it its coming out, i'll replace it with a disk drive (yeh legacy free is going out the window) oh well it will work and be a better computer but maybe one day i will make my godlike pc! Wed, 24 Jan 2007 21:36:46 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/life-sucks-once-again/174/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/life-sucks-once-again/174/ wow that shook me up, going round the roundabout to have a cunt go into my tail, hurt my pride more than anything else thank god, but it hit me how badly i was looking after ali driving recklessly like that, shook me up for 2 or 3 days afterwards, it happened on friday at 10:15 lol i think im ok now, bruised ego and dented car but its been bodged up and fixed sort of lol, well fixed up enough to be legal on the road lol! but yeh of course the otehr guy was in a landrover so no damage to his car at all the fucking cuntbag.anyway aside from that its emily dsilva'sa birthday on thursday and i popped over to hers last night, she had an all day family and friends party thing but of course i was working till 9 so imissed seeing almost all of our mutual friends, sods law but was good none the less, got to see ali and we had a final chat before she goes to see the doc to go on the pill, both of us are too reckless with the no condom on no sex rule and im scared and so is she, we know were lazy and enjoy it... Sun, 14 Jan 2007 23:32:26 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/car-crash/173/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/stebbo/car-crash/173/