diary of a lost soul

well im back to school in a week and on will come my as exams, im looking forward to seeing all my school friends especially matt, bugg, tarry and of course sophie! i just hope puxie has finally had a bath! he stank at the end of last term and his hair was so greasy he didnt need gel....not so nice! well tom taylor is leaving after next term and i cant wait! i dunno why i rejoined his forum but oh well forgotten the address allready! i think my birthday party (may 1st, i have an extensive wishlist on amazon under stebbo1988@gmail.com) been chatting with charly recently and its good to keep in contact with old friends, the other charlie and sophia are now pressing to meet up again but i cant be arsed to go through courting with her again so i'll probably go anyway just to affirm our friendship but thats about all i got planned, i need a venue for my party, a few people are pushing for me to cancel this oint party idea and have myown but i dunno depends what most people want to do..of course i could have two parties i dunno it would be cool if lue, dick and that lot could come coz dick is so damn funny! i guess andy should be allowed to come but i doubt he will want to celebrate my birth!! he'd celebrate my death willingly though! lol things are seemingly different than the start of the holiday i never thought i would think the way i do about the groups of friends it seem skinda backwards, i cant say out with the oldin with the knew coz thats ust not how i feel! i thought summer would be nothing but meeting up with the people on sunday and it still may be that but i dunno. i am still worried about francesca coz somtrhing s till up, but being a woman she wont tell me so im gonna make a special effort to be really nice to her, she's never lashed out at me like she did on the phone, she apologised later of ocurse! but it was a bit worrying for me to see her like that! i think maybe as time for summer comes she'll cheer u p! the summer always cheers me up when i can chill with her, problem is sam is gonna want to go ice skating all the time and i just dont have the cash to go! i wanna just chil out like i do now! problem is sam is a spending kinda guy and with his parents supporting him finacially good for him! i guess maybe its true me and francesca do have this unbreakable bond of friendshi, i mean heaven knows i've tried straying awya from her, not wanting to fall back in love with her but it jsut seems weird. we always come back to each other i mean she went off with luke and andy and that lot from shapwick and now were kinda reforming if you knwo what i mean! well it will be good to see her at my part at least! hopefully lizzie and emil will come coz i havnt seem them for ages! i saw lizzie at christmas but i havnt seen emily for ages! same with katie dunn, omg theres so many people i ahvtn seen in ages, i might be seeing steph steadmen for ages but she might be coming this sundya and she's bringing kim! kim is the closest thing rto cornflake i knew before i met cornflake! she's so crazy apparantly she got a bf now so good for her! i think the possibilities in your life are always there but you gotta grab them, i mean i phased certain people ot of my life, luke and dan and our blandford crew for instance, i abandoned them at the end of year 8 but now were back together and even better friends than before! its weird but i guess thats the way it is! we met by coincidence at a su's party! it was so crazy! well i was considering not going coz hayley T ws there and i had had a fat arguament about her and her bf who was cheating on her but she owuldnt believe me! well anyway its all over now and we will be social to each other but meh! i'm confessing a rather unbecoming thing here but i think i still live in the past, i decided to try to shut out my past by exclusivly meeting up with everyone on my one free day, sunday and the sunda gang well, we had good times but i think its time i didnt suddenly ignore them anything but meet up with some old friends i havnt seen in ages so if people dont want toi meet up with the sunday gang i am gonna for a bnit just meet up with the TH gang for a bit because their are about 30 maybe 40 faces i miss so much and i just dont wanna shut them out of my life! well that enough for now i think i'm gonna go revise for as levels (grrrr)