diary of a lost soul

May 21, 2007 at 13:38 o\clock

a lot has happened

by: stebbo

my world hase been turned upside down and then put in a hoover and then the bag has been broken and pieces have been scattered everywhere. is it all bad? no but everything is different now. i got the balls to break it off with ali, we had an amazing relationship but we did nothing but argue, now were staying mates and for once in my life were on good terms a week after break up day, one week tomorow i will have been single and boy has it been weird, when i go out im actually checking girls out and enjoying not having the guilt attached if i check out a fit girl. i love ali to bits i really do but things were driving us insane and i saw her on friday after the break up and things were good we really will be good friends but was sleeping with her that day a mistake? fucking amazing sex it was really emotionally driven and i dont wanna become fuck buddies but once every now and then i were both single surely cant harm anyone right?

 me and lotty are really close now i share everything with her and she's been a realy good friend through everything giving me good advice which has helped me massively, i do love spending time with her and im glad its not awkward or anything but i know her flatmates despises me and she seems constantly grumpy with me so im just gonna not bother with her and ignore her, she has way too much of an obsession, like other people i know and now ignore, with drama, its like she feeds off it.

 but apart from that francesca spoke to me on msn accusing me of giving her number to a girl called jenny...wtf? and so i asked her laods of quyestions, which she didnt reply to, after about 20 messages on msn i got pissed off and blocked her sending her a strongly worded email basically saying how she has changed and shows me no respect since she can no longer gain anything from me she isnt gonna bother with me, she just said i obviously jhadnt grown up like she thought i had, like she thought i had, she knows shit about me and she is makign assumptions about how i live my life? growing up is for boring people as lotty has really taught me it just really pisses me off how she always acts as a distant superior person and not someone who is on the same level as me like it used to be, chatting to sam in the car on the way home he agreed with me but i suspect he doesnt beleive it as much as i do since their 2 familiies are really close friends and so he probably still sees her at family gatherings, where heprobably agrees im an immature cunt who he isnt mates with or not as good mates as we used to be or some bollocks like that.

 so yeah life is different and im glad for it because things seem to be running smoothly, i dont feel bad if i want to just have a day to myself anymore because it may be the only time in 3 weeks ali can see me so i feel a lot less stressed than when i was going out with her but it does make things feel strange after we were together for exactly 15 months which is quite a scary length of time for me to be able to keep a girlfriend for! anyway thats all i have to sya for now thanks for reading, and yes i know this is the first time i have ever acknowledged anyone who reads my blog but i just felt like thanking you guys for taking an interest in my life, whether your a friend catching up on my news or just an internet randomer! thanks


Comments for this entry:

  1. Buttercup2 wrote at May 21, 2007 at 17:04 o\clock:Well it does sound like your life has been shaken up lately but it also sounds like you are enjoying the aftermath of it all. Discovering what and who you want to share your time and life with is profoundly important as it effects a great deal on how happy you are in your daily life and heart. It is ok to take time to find out what you really want from life. Many of us are taught to be people pleasers which often is a huge mistake to our own soul. Keep searching and walking your path in life. Aly

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