Alyse!!
well i dont know what is going on with her right now! is she trying to wind me up? punish me for not trusting her? does she even know what she is doing to me? either way i an torn apart emotionally. i tell her what she means to me and she just turns round and says i dont mean what i say! she says that i dont mean it and i'm a man and all men are scums, she probably has her reasons, but she wont open up to me! does this mean she has been really badly hurt and scared to open up? or is she not committed? i dunno well maybe things are not what i thought! maybe she is, somehow punishing me for somthing i did to chloe, is she a Medea like person or does she have a heart? i am convinced she has a heart she is full of life so i know that she will never do me wrong, i think. so why is she acting the way she is??! its almost like she is going to turn me out. i dunno maybe she i dont even know what to write! usually my mind is full of thoughts rushing around so fast i dont know where to start! ahhh well! i dunno its jsut empty for once! im gonna go home tonight and bring in my fat bottle of tequila and drink it all, wander how long it wlll be till m on the floor and passed out, lets do the test! results when i am of a fit state to blog again!!!!!
