Mood: diary of a lost soul so yeh oh so happy *EYE ROLL*
Listening to: too late for music dont wanna wake up the house
meh death is nothign surely, i mean you dont have people backstabbing andb itching or haing your just...dead right? well i dont believe in life after death one bit, i dont think anyone does except muslim extremists and the like ie bush! but hmmmm for once the daily mail was right...only in the horroscope section but its a start, act now or lose a dear friend, well vikki now hates me and im totally crushed by that, i mean she is sooooo amazing and i have done so much for her and she's beenj a rock to me and now for some petty arguament in the car she wants me out of her life? i totally love her and im always torn between anger at how easily she will betray me and how special she is to me, not in the same way ali is special to me, obviously ali will always be my number one girl but vikki jsut cant seem to understand how much i like her and hse just wont be seen near me! i feel like a total..i dunno really i just feel depressed t the core of my soul and i gotta say my happy face is so nice and convicing now even ali thinks im happy...mostly! i cant stop feeling like im being eaten away at and nothing will be left of me and then life will just blurr by till i die...bleugh far to opoetic. well apart from that college is cool henry is a dude and everyone else is old but stillw ith a sense of humour but i guess. anyway life trundles on..tesco...college...sitting at home, althoguht his week i because proactive and went to dsee gina in swansea (south wales!) and not only was the road trip fun but the actual night was amazing and i left on a total high and the drive home kept me in good moods with the nice weather! gina's flatmates are all totalyl cool and yeh wicked night. i swear visiting them must be kept a bit scarce or it may become an adddiction like...my happyness drug! but yeh thinking bout my time up their cheers me up enough to stop my shoulders hunching so it was realyl good for me and a lot of petrol money well spent! so in all the doom and gloom life is not all bad! it never is! but concentrating to o much on the good things can make you put bad things to the back of your mind which have to be fixed...now me and vikki will never talk or anything again but at least she has her pride and is happy with it all, nothing sucks more than losin a close friend and caring about it, even though i cant decide whose decisions are more trajic, hers or mine well i should have explained what i meant wasnt what she thought but times way too late, like i said fucking daily mail was right, yeh i never was good at wrapping up blogs so bleugh goodnight im gonna try to sleep again tonight as the dependancy on sleeping pills looms posisbly. yeh men suck? no people suck
