Mood: i wish i knew!
Listening to: absinthe with faust - cradle of filth
ok so first of all i guess i am pretty much over nett but for some reason im stuck in the past. last night on the phone to me..well wednesday night but whatever, she told me that everytime she told me that she loved me she was lying nd she knows that makes her drop a hell of a lot in my estimation of her but she doesnt care. also how she dumped me coz her mate convincerd her to? what kinda girls do i bloody well keep getting involved in? well i'm too tense to eat coz anything i eat just gets puked up and i'm scared to sleep because of this awful recurring n ightmare i have about nett. managed to stay up till 2 this morning but i had the nightmare at least twice. i wrote her a lette with everything i have to say in it but i dont have her address and i dunno if i can get it, i've decided to let her drift away, which is something i would promise myself i would never do with an ex if i couldnt help it....but she is not who i thought she was and i have just lost all respect for her. when push came to shove and laura was slagging me off i was not stood up for once like i did anytime people slagged her off. anyway it turns out she is a trendy and i wouldnt mind that but she has the attitude which i despise.....a word i havnt used in ages...DESPISE her attitude. and she tells me off for taking the moral highground with her? all this itme she made a big deal out of being scared how quickly she had fallen in love with me and all along it ws some heap of bollocks? well everything good i have ever said about her still stands but you will not hear one more positive thing about her from me ever again she just makes me so angry now because i dont hate her i hate myself abotu it all. katie, kat and tes have been so supporting and totally there for me but their just not cheering me up i dunno what i can do coz im down abotu something that i dunno why and im tryna drag myself out of it i refuse to become an emo wreck but i just dunno what to do, katie told me to make someone laugh everyday.... well i do anyway most days and according to me and katie last night thats the only thing we can come up with that im proud of about my life in total. xc is going badly im so unfit, love lfie in the gutter, school life going crap, school work even worse, thje bournemouth life of the summer has crashed and burned. loads of need for a better life lol. anyway i have serious physics coursework to do which is doing rubbish anyway so will update when my mood changed!