diary of a lost soul

Mood: mixture of grief depression and kinda no feelings at all
Listening to: no feeling - sex pistols

well lost tes, dan got in there and told her how much of a cheating bstard i am. i did feel really p!ssed off at first but if i get too into her it will just become another francesca scenario so can't do that. just gotta bury even more feeling deep inside. hope it will be for the better i mean i dunno but it could be. yeah we could have been amazing but if her and dan are amazing together then i would have stopped them so i dunno its all for the best and since everyone seems against me on this one it would be too self destructive to keep up anything but what i am doing now. i think its about time i just gave up on actually trying o believe that there is someone out there for me and just really give in i mean all i do is get girls who i like but either e drift apart or they dont like me after a few months and well its just not worth it anymore. dunno never really cried like i did in the shower today over tess so i guess it proves that i do have emotions and im not completely dead inside another short one because i jst cant deal with pouring out all my emotions right now will end up just dying from it all...anyway update on things probably tomorow!