diary of a lost soul

Mood: MERRY CHRISTMAS
Listening to: the rocky theme

i am allready filled with christmas spirit as our school ends today so this will be my last entry for 4 weeks! i better have loads of comments to check when i come back! its all great the christmas day today cant wait to go to elements ball on the 14th i must remember to tell youall avbout it i am seeing EVERYONE again i wonder how hostile everybody will be, loads of ice skating and posh family i am not gonna rant because i am full of christmas spirit. no no unhappy stuff....od bless us, everyone! have a good christmas everybody and thanks for your suport over the last month! hopefully a happy new year! lots of love to all you peeps checking out my life!!

Mood: so tired....

when i get back next termi will be on the worst possible punishments (all of them) without suspension or expulsion but i dont care anymore i used to but now i reely have nothing to live for whys hould i care? christmas i know will cheer me up, remember at the end of this week u have no little old me for 4 weeks! then im back in your face!!! luckily now my feelings for francewsca are being forced once again to the back of my mind,testnow is when i see her again on the 14th when thre is the elements ball. im going as nicki's date but we have made rules of no pulling, also a law of i cantpull anyone else but i decided a loophole is if anna goes. she's so georgeous and sweet! and she owes meone of her famous dances!!! wish i could spend all day hugging her! me and lizzie are doing ok on the surface but i feel that deep down she is stil hurting i a making as muchof an effort as i can to be nice to her so we will just have to see wont we? well i still havnt finished my physics coursework so yeh i hate work dontyou? will post again when i finish...and all you peeps better congratulate me!!

Mood: excited as i get off school the end of this week

it seems i have a few aploogies to make t turns out everyone knows my blog address and i forgot one critical thing but actually i dont care if people hate me for my opinions well they can go get bent. so if you want me to make a retraction on anything i say....dont bother asking i say what i want when i want and fcuk you if you think i sam gonna retract anything i say. on that note i need to get somthing off my chest. im starting to miss lizzie more than i thought i oowuld and i know she likes me but i have hurt her way too much. stupid drunken night is all i gotta say ot that. well i have a lot of coursework to do and so my updates are becoming not so recent and once this week is over i may not be able to get on for 4 weeks so i hope you miss me! well im sure i will have a lot to rant about when i get back though so dont worry! well not much to worry about right now in my life people are coming around and thingsa re going well ish i hope we'll see how things pan out when next meet up its a shame i cant go to hayley's party because i have work but to be honest ever since rancesca dumped me hayley seems to be desperate to drit away from me and its probably only francesca that is keeping me and hayley together despite the fact i still consider hayley a good friend. well im gonna get on with coursework now...no really i am! so update tomorow probably or later on today in worknight

Listening to: GET AMPED OF COURSE!!!!

you will check out this band please download their new song we need to make them big and we need 1500 songs send fwds to all your friends do anything you can please please please www.getamped.co.uk they rock!

Mood: let me sleep now....please?
Listening to: the B's are lisstening to some rubbish korn style stuff....damn them

it was actually not what i thought it was. it wasnt spit or n e fink it was bloody battery acid so annoying i even confused the 2....im gonna cut back on the drink! bloody hell i quickly apologised and argh i need 2 sleep i have now had 3 sleepless weeks and counting. i got work an detention this asfternoon (2hours of sitting down and copying out a dictionary for detentin followed by a 3 hour shift at tesco) problem is i need the money.... ya know what? i cant sleep coz i am so excited that ok well ia time for a little explanation.... one of my friends nicky went to a party with this guy as her date, he gets drunk and when she leaves the room sleeps with 2 other girls outside n a bush, she and him were gonna meet up at this ball at a nightclub called elements which is amazing and now she is going with me, we made rules nothing is gonna happen but im like hert protection from him. its gonna be so wicked evry1 is gonna be so surprised 2 see me, its a chance to ee who has cooled down and who i am gonna end up fighting, drinking will be kept to a minimum as i reckon a will get into quite a few fights but i gotta go to protect nicky from this guy called joe......i hate joe!!!!

Mood: let me sleep now///

it was actually not what i thought it was. it wasnt spit or n e fink it was bloody battery acid so annoying i even confused the 2....im gonna cut back on the drink! bloody hell i quickly apologised and argh i need 2 sleep i have now had 3 sleepless weeks and counting. i got work an detention this asfternoon (2hours of sitting down and copying out a dictionary for detentin followed by a 3 hour shift at tesco) problem is i need the money.... ya know what? i cant sleep coz i am so excited that ok well ia time for a little explanation.... one of my friends nicky went to a party with this guy as her date, he gets drunk and when she leaves the room sleeps with 2 other girls outside n a bush, she and him were gonna meet up at this ball at a nightclub called elements which is amazing and now she is going with me, we made rules nothing is gonna happen but im like hert protection from him. its gonna be so wicked evry1 is gonna be so surprised 2 see me, its a chance to ee who has cooled down and who i am gonna end up fighting, drinking will be kept to a minimum as i reckon a will get into quite a few fights but i gotta go to protect nicky from this guy called joe......i hate joe!!!!

Mood: i cant believe it.....
Listening to: get amped-phoney society

i find my two "best mates" playing sptting games with all my computer stuff.cordless mouse down the drain wow another 50 quid oh wait thats right i dont have 50 quid. now i cant use my cmputer wow well done sam and john OMG i could fucking kill them witha blunt object and feel no remorse. i swear one day i will lose it! well the love life thing is hopefuylly behind me, lizzie and me are talking but she is still very dismissive. smoking up to 20 a day....i gotta stop this its y i have no cash but argh i cant help it! they have always been 2 faced to each other and me kinda like a 2 faced triangle but to catch them in the act of doing it and them saying it was just a bit of fun is going too far. its all over my entire dorm wtf am i gonna do? sorry i havnt been updating over the last few days i have been going about just feeling low doing nothing really now i have to catch up on my vcoursework, yeah fat chance of that ever happening! well im gonna go do work now and try to put this behind me arrrggghhh i need a cricket bat

i need to get a few things off my chest...right well this girlcalled anna, she is a dancer and she's really fit is interested in me and i am interested in her, hopefully she can be my mental saviour, i am on thepoint of breakdown, my nerves arejust going my best mate at school asked someone he hated right infront of me if they wanted to go to blanny when he knew i was free just because he wa sulking because i kicked him off MY computer to install a second DVD drive, which onlytakes like 10 mins anyway! i know! charming isnt it!! well he has always been like that and always will be so i just let it go over my head but that combined with all that i have described earlier in my blog has meant that well i am not best pleased with people right now. i need well in the words on bonjovi (one ofmy heroes) "i wish that i could be in another time and place, with someone elses soul, someone elses face" btw my majour musical influences are bonjovi, get amped (no1 has heard of them they are the british underground band of the month www.getamped.co.uk they will be on the radio 1 playlist soon! hope theydo well i love them, i also love greenday, guns n roses imtryna get hold of some metallica but no luck yet and a few oldie people like queen and ELO. my music tastes are veryw eird!! lol well anyway im going away from the point, i hate this phoney society we live in and argh people are so obsessed with their own simple lives that theycannot realise what i am going through. maybe one day i can go back through this blog and laugh...in the very distant future that is. even on all theonline forums i am on people are ignoring me! proably theonly people talking to me right now are my family and a few close friends. hope i can sort my head out as it is really starting to bug me.

well now she wants to meet up and she says that it will be weird, wweird i say ha! not weird. well i got a new girl im after so i have put francesca and emily behind me, the dancer called anna which i have met once OMG she is georgeous. well im not sure if its just a bit of friendly flirting or what but i think it will go far. its her birthday today so i have got to get her a birthday card. will make it a cute one witha teddy bear or somthing like that. sophie adie is gonna help me! cant wait well im gonna get back to my physics coursework!! will update you peeps later