Weblog of Wendy

Mood: shitty

Well, I'm officially a smoker again. I have been for some time now...man, it's tough to quit!! Anyone have any suggestions that I haven't tried already? And now that I'm dating a smoker...well..I just don't see quitting in the near future for me. Sucks.l

So far so good again. Another successful day of not smoking almost gone. I have my moments, but for the most part, it's been great. I actually had company over last night, Ern and Rick, who, by the way, smoke like chimneys, and even then I didn't smoke! (Although the thought crossed my mind..perhaps the chips and munchies that I put out for them and devoured myself deterred me...?)

Well, I made it through my first week-end as a non-smoker. However, it could be due to the fact that I didn't go out, but stayed home with Poco, my chihaughua who was spayed on Friday. (ouch) Didn't leave the house...but I really didn't crave having a cigarrette, either. I think it's finally here! The moment in my life when I can honestly say that I'm a non-smoker!!! And I have to admit, it feels great. I keep waiting for the really rough days that people have warned me about. I've had some tough moments, but days? Mmm...maybe the worst is still coming?? Certainly hope not!!

Mood: Anxiety

K...Now I'm starting to freak out. Everyone's telling me that I'm going to gain weight since I've quit smoking. (And yes...I'm quite proud to say I haven't had a cigarrette since I've quit..even though it's only been about 24 hours). I'm 34 this month, and I must say, I'm in good shape.  I DON'T WANT TO GAIN WEIGHT! So now it's a vanity issue. I'm eating less, and my goal is to work out.  Why not just attempt to become healthy overall...? And is it worth quitting to become obese and unhealthy in an over-weight way? Perhaps I'm overdoing it..stressing myself for nothing. Perhaps 10 lbs or so is far better than the negative consequences of smoking.

I've gotta keep my chin up....

Well, as of today I quit smoking. I've had two. That's my last, and I'm pretty sure of it. I'll tell you why...it stinks, I'll save money, I want to be healthy, I want my skin, hair and teeth to look healthy, and because I can!! But I have a feeling it won't be as easy as I think. I've smoked since 1985...hard to believe it's been that long. I also don't want to gain weight..and boy, do I have a phobia of weight gain. But I think overall the benefits far outweigh the 10 pounds I may gain. Besides, I can lose the weight right?

I'll have a few hard spells today I'm sure. You'll hear about them.