Stressed
Mood: stressed
Listening to: "how do you get so lonley"
I am so frustrated. I have so much going on right now I can barley get started on one thing before I have to go to the next. I am the co-captain for a Relay for Life team and the fundraiser money is due tomorrow and I havent raised a cent which means all $100 for the minimum entry, plus the money for the doughnuts which are another part of the fundraiser, plus the money for the BBQ that night (which I won't even eat since I am a veggie) are all gonna come straight out of my pocket. It might not seem like much but I can't find a job so thats is litterally going to take every dollar I own. Then a week later I have to bake 3 items for a bake sale to benifit the tsunami relif efforts which I have no money to buy the stuff for...not to mention I haven't figured out what oven I will use since I live in a dorm. then to top off all the money stuff my car is a piece of crap! the drivers side door broke today and won't open anymore, it is making a funny clunking sound, and it keeps dying on me, not to mention I am just about out of gas! Thank god this town is amall enough to walk everywhere. Plus I have at least 2 more fundraisers for different things this moth that I will have to contribute to.
One more of many problems is that I did all this research to find out exactly what foods have products from dead animals and I found a ton of stuff that does which all seems pretty innocent. So I have been trying to cut all of that stuff out but there is so much of it I can't remember it all and I haven't had time to just sit down and make a list. Some of it though is unavoidable...like I found out there is gelatin in photo paper and in film. BLAH Problem is that I have already cut so much stuff out that I know it must be pretty unhealthy, My hair and nails are really brittle, I have to clean out my brush every day at least once...Im gonna go BALD lol. I don't know if this is at all related but my skin is so dry that it acctually feels like snake skin, but that could be because of all the wind too and that I cant afford the Hemp lotion I usually get because it is $20 a bottle so I am stuck with generic, stinky stuff from the dollar store. I know right aww boohoo poor girl doesnt get her fancy lotion, but my skin on my thighs bleeds it is so bad.
As far as school goes I have 3 tests monday and a research paper due that I havent even started. I am makind Ds in 2 classes, and before I know it finals will be here. Next week I will have to start figuring out how I am going to spend my summer, I am thinking about taking a couple of classes at the community college at home and applying for an intern position at the zoo. Which means that is all more paperwork to go through.
My "plan for my self improvement" isnt going so well either. I just don't have enough time for the things I listed a few days ago that I want to change.
yuck I just feel really bogged down and pressured and I won't get a break until school gets out in May.
