Mood: reminisant and sad...hard to explain really
Listening to: chevelle
This is gonna be long but sisnce I am pretty sure I am the only one who ever looks at my blog I guess it doesn't matter. hehe
I have been really thinking a lot about the past lateley...I think it is mostly because I am more on my own than ever and its kinda scary to have so many changes all at once. Anyway, I was thinking about a friend, Jessica, I had from eight grade to 10th grade, sadly she was killed in a car accident at the end of our sopmore year. I was thinking about how happy she was and, although it was a short, and troubled like that she had, how much she cherished it. She was an amazing person and I, and so many other people she knew, miss her greatly. I remember I was in a couple of her classes in elementary school but although we got along alway we never really were friends until our 8th grade history class. That was the most fun class I have ever been in in my life! Our teacher was an older man named Leibert Armor, and he was so funny. One time he was assigning us a paper and before he finished Jessica asked what we were supposed to write in on and he jokingly said "You can write it on a roll of toilet papaer for all I care, as long as you write it over the right topic" so a few weeks later when it was time to present she showed up with her entire paper on a roll of toilet paper and she got up there like it was nothing and unrolled it like a scroll or something and read it, she was always funny like that. Between her and Mr. Armor they always had the whole class laughing. Another time he told her if she didn't quit talking he was "gonna beat her with a wet noodle" so she told him she'd provide the noodle then, but she did't get it so the next day she showed up with a dry spaghetti noodle in a bag of cold water. So when she continued tralking he taped her mouth shut (not in a mean natured way, it was all in fun) so then she was using getures so he taped her hands to the desk. A few minutes later she had pulled it off and she was trying to throw it in the trash next to Mr. Armor just to show him she got it off, but her aim was terrible so she ended up hitting him right in the head with it. His expression was priceless and she fell on the floor laughing. Until we could drive we rode the same school bus home and that was always a lot of fun too... we had the greatest driver, me, her, my sis and one other guy were always last off and we were his favories so he would take us to McDonalds like once a week on the way home. One time she asked to see what was under this big latched door on the floor next to him and he told her to open it(the bus was going) and it was the engine so when she did it scared her nad she jumped backwards and screamed and slid across the floor...it was so funny. She used to always aim her gum for my sisters hair, but never made it, and one day she didnt have gum but had a mini rubix cube so she threw it at her, but her aim was terrible like I said, so it went out the window and hit the car next to us...we all laughed so much when she was around. The odd thing was she didn't have that good of a life by most peoples standards. She was pregnat 3 times btw. 9th and 10th grade and always miscarried and she had abussive boyfriends and a deadbeat dad. One time after she told me about her bf hitting her she just looked at me and grabbed upper my eyelashed and said "you blink too much" (that was her pet peeve) and she laughed. I asked her how she could be happy after telling a story like the one she told and she said "because if I don't laugh Ill cry and why cry when you can laugh". I was like wow, she was such a strong person and I try to think of those words whenever I feel down but it is hard for me to go by them sometimes. A few months after that her car was found in a ditch one morning with bullet holes in it, apperantly she snuck out to see her (abusive) bf and on the way home there was an accident and she was not found until daylight. The official police rport said that she had fallen asleep at the wheel and the bullet holes were made before the accident, but I don't buy that, how could someone fall asleep after being shot at erlier that night, I think she was being shot at and swirved off the road, it was the wreck that killed her though. I am sure her asshole bf had something to do with it too I just wish they had proof to arrest his ass. There are 2 things beyond the obvious that really get to me though, I always wonder how long she was alive after the wreck, I mean was she killed on impact or did she have to suffer there alone while cars passed by above her completley unaware of her. Also we had started to drift apart when this happened so I just hope she didnt think there was a specific reason for it like I wasn't mad or anything, I thnk she was a great person, we just never saw each other really anymore. I remember I was watchig the news that night and her face came up and I was exited to see my friend on the news until their words registerd that they were atalking about an accident and not only that but her DEATH. I was shocked, I called y sis at a friends and told her but I dont think I even believed it. I went to the funeral and sat alone in the back pew, I didn't want to see my friend who was so livley a few days before laying dead in a coffin so I sat out of view. I managed to keep my composure through the service, which was packed so that just shows how much hse was loved, but afterwards I saw a friend and she came and hugged me and then we both just lost it. That was a terribly sad day but I am glad she lived a full happy life for the short time she was here. Myself and all those who she knew will always miss her. Anyway that has been on my mind latley and I just needed to vent.
Not that I dont have my share of laziness. For example my frined was all mad because I am making an A in the class she is failing, I think she is trying to play the race card since she is the only black person in the class but thats not the case, its her laziness, she told me that she didn't know why she was failing since she had done almost all of her journals that we have to turn in every week and she had come to ever single class, thats her perspective of it. Actually she has missed 3 classes and even though she has turned in a lot of journals (which don't count for much) she told me the other day he e-mailed her saying that she needed to go in to more detail in them because she was recaping the class and not telling her thoughts on the lessons and I believer her words were "I don't give a shit what we do in there so I'm gonna keep writing them how I want to". Also we have taken 2 quizzes in there and she didnt study for either of them and she bombed them both. And she can't understand why I am passing and she isn't, its because I study and show up to EVERY class and acctually participate when I am there! Then in one of my classes the prof. passes around an attendance sheet everyday for us to sign and every time someone who doesnt have anyone in arms reach of them gets lazy and decides to stop passing it so i totally forget and walk out of class without getting credit for being there. I was at the store and this guy is looking for a space to park even though there are like 4 cars in the entire lot he apperantly wanted a front space so this other man starts backing up (in a front spot) and I let him back out more just to be nice than to get his spot, Apperantly I didnt realize this guy needed this parking spot for whatever reason and I start to pull in and suddenly he comes flying in from the wrong direction and cuts me off...I came inches from hitting him! I didn't mind losing the space I just was mad he was to lazy to park to spaces down that he would risk a wreck to get the spot. Anyway lazy people bug me today lol.
