Tacks and Boards

Mood: Nervous
Listening to: Don't Know Why

Have you ever been in the dilemma that you don't have money and the whole world blames you for their own moneyless state?

Sad story ain't it. That's my story today. I wish I could have gone to work instead. Today was set as my restday because of the confusions ever intrinsically present in our workforce planning department. How I wish I should have gone to work instead. At least, the only problem I would be encountering in the office are the ones I could solve or somebody else could immediately.

But today doesn't seem to be the case. I had to ask fare from my dad and he doesn't have anything to spare me so that's okay. The events to follow were none that I expected.

He had to talk to me regarding money and how I need to help out with the house expenses. I can't believe this! I, of all people in the family, would be the one blamed why we are having financial crises. I really can't believe this. I pay the cable, water, and electric bills. I am trying to save up for my sister's college tuition fee. And you do this to me. How considerate. And my elder sister goes around getting pregnant and not finishing college. Wow! so much for my fault huh? Talk about being fair. Have you ever gotten mad at my good for nothing sister as you have now with all the shit that has happened to her? Hell No!

Right now you're again about to be confined. How many times have I caught you smoking? How many times have I told you to take care of yourself? and then you ask me to produce money I haven't got at the moment and expect me to produce it? And if I can't, you blame me. Where is the fun in that?

I know we have to work together and I am now considered the Head of the Family. But then again, my sister is still a minor. Never mind me. I can take care of myself. But my sister is still a dependent. Your dependent. Now go do your job as her father.

Logging out...

Mood: Surged Emotions
Listening to: Calls of Agents Asking For Breaks

I'm swirling in the thought that I am on my restday. But, as I wallow in the idea of lounging in my bed and listening to the music which soothes me at that moment with the wind blowing in my face amidst the cancer causing smoke filled room, I hear a certain familiar sound...

"RJ... RJ... RJ PS! Question..." What the...! I'm at work? Yeah! Shit! I'm at work... again. Sadly. Isn't it a wonder how reality would creep up on you and burst your bubble just like that? Hmmm... Let me see what wanted to do for the past few days now. A list of unfinished business. Wanted to get a facial. Nah! Broke. Wanted to watch a movie. Nah! No date. Broke. Wanted to return bottle cases. Nah! I'm missing four bottles. Wanted to have a cup of coffee. Nah! Broke. Wanted to go on rest day. Nah. Can't. Have to work. Broke. Wanted to fix computer. Nah. Broke. Wanted to pay cable tv dues. Nah. Broke. Wait a goddamn mother fucking minute here!!! I'm seeing a pattern here! Damn! I'm broke. Hahaha! Aren't we all. Why does everything related to frustration related to money? Beats me. I'm burning my ass off here working. Just an afterthought in this call center. We are all just pawns here in this forsaken place. Dispensable money crunchers doing all the dirty work and not getting the paid for it.

I'm considering a career shift. This is not worth it. I don't even know how I managed to convince myself to stay here for the longest time. Maybe I can't afford the transition. Maybe. Probably. Just probably. Most probably maybe. Let me weigh my options.

• EPSON Industrial Engineer, Lipa City, Batangas. Prestigious company. Above average pay. fairly high position. Long growth rate. VEry new place. Unknown travel and cost of living expense. Very distant from family.
• Fairways and Bluewater Human Resources Administrator, Boracay. Very popular company. Very very nice place. Average pay. Very very distant from family. Place compensates for pay. Unknown cost of living. Expensive travel. Unknown growth rate.
• GlaxoSmithKline, Detail Staff, Makati City. Prestigious Company. Unknown work. Unknown pay. Unknown location assignment. Unknown growth rate.

So, I ask myself, "Should I go somewhere or stay here?" Inspite of my better judgment, comparing my current state and the next possible state I would be in; I am staying in this company for the time being. Inasmuch as I would like to leave; the risk is not mine to take, let alone afford it.

"Get a life" Has been a very degenerating comment I have been popularly hearing. Come to think of it, it embodies the true sense of being in a job such as what I have. Let me see here. No night life (work is at night), no social life (in the true sense of the word, since the only socialites we are with are those who also are from our field), no love life (unless you’re with someone here and are of the same schedule), and no sex life (what? Sex! We would rather sleep than expend precious energy on sex). Demeaning isn’t it? I know for a fact it is. Damn! Angst is riding up on all facets of my personality. I need a vacation. A really long one. Before a vacation, may be a promotion would be nice. As a coffee buddy would aptly put it, "Why keep your angst when you can share it, right?"

Logging Out…

Mood: Chopsuey
Listening to: My Favorite Mistake Superseded by Troubleshooting Questions

Yawn... Tired and broke. What's new? I know! A new blog site where I could continue ranting. You heard me right. Ranting. A site where I could literally dump all the unspoken shit piling up due to the circumstances I am in. But, not all of this site would be shit. Just thoughts. An online cork board reminding me that reality will soon catch up with your ideals. So, what are we waiting for? Let's start ranting.

Half baked and pretentious. Trust no one. I have spent nine months in this company and have gone through all the bullshit you have probably heard about. Things have indeed changed. From a mere construction yard, the physical building has risen of the ground to become one of the landmarks here. Even cab drivers know when an early to mid - twenties (sorry to those who are above the middle mark... this is just an average) person would be hailing a cab at 3 in the morning and still looking very fresh and not a hint of alcohol in his/her breath where that person is going. Same old same old side: schedules as erratic as ever. poor salary. politics and even more politics not just by ranking but also in the same level. Be careful who you trust. The person you maybe looking up to could just as easily suddenly stab you in the back where it really hurts. Same old... Same old... SHIT!

Ever heard of Abay? Some of you may (Yeah, Call Center Baguio First Account Types) some of you may not (Lucky you normal people whose biorhythms have not been affected yet. Your sanity is still intact.) This is the transition phase of fresh - from - training - agents into the the main production floor. I'm getting better at mentoring these kinds of agents. Those who desire to learn and don't want to question your position as mentor, with the exception of some, of course. There is always an exception. Same old.. Same old.... No new questions and issues so far. Still the same areas of improvement... Still the same mutations of the people who ask you questions and never learn. There are also these people who try to put one over you and say "it's not in the knowledge base" and refuses to listen to any of your advise. Damn you bitch! Why do freaking ask me questions if you don't fucking listen to me?! Why don't you freaking just say you're already lazy doing your job so that I could request you to be pulled out. Sounds fair? It better be. Argh! Damn I need a smoke.

Logging Out...