What does the future hold......

I always thought you were supposed to start fresh with a new year...so you can move ahead.

why do I start every single day with exactly the same four letter word....gotta change that!!!!!!!!!!

Mood: hopeful

I think I'll move into door-to-door sales

I can sell books, cards, subscriptions, meat & cheese baskets....anything that will allow me to knock on the doors of important people.

I need to know that I will survive in the future.

If I am visible in the world, I will be alright....

and providing catering type stuff is likely a great place to start!!

Mood: planning

Having been stung so badly with this relationship, I figured I had better start making a list of what I want in a man.  Then if I am ever free *** & ready *** to look, I will have a checklist.

Looks aren't everything...but I want someone who is able to move about with some agility (getting more difficult as we age anyway).  I want to go for walks, and it would be nice to have someone like minded on that account.

I want flowers...or a chocolate bar...or a paperclip....any little thing to show I am valued and appreciated...and loved.

I want a DIAMOND or other precious stone in our commitment ring....otherwise where' s the commitment???  I really not that much of a materialist, but I am jaded.

WORDS are NOT enough!  I know "I love you" doesn't mean much, because it means nothing many of the times I use it.  NOTHING.  Its just easier to say it.

I want to be listened to & heard & my counsel taken.  If you're going to ask my opinion, then you'd better have a darn good reason why you're not going to follow it!

not as easy to write as I thought....since he didn't do anything to really upset me last day or 2.

 

Mood: happy

I promise myself....a day at the spa for my 50th birthday!

I know it will be too late to reclaim what I've lost through abuse to my face & body, but it is a marvellously attractive idea!  I've heard about them for years and think I would enjoy being pampered and having no interruptions to my pleasure. 

Maybe I'll do it in Canada with a friend, like Kim or Laurie, or my daughter, since we're not keeping very private anymore!  I have time to plan it, so there's no hurry.  I just wanted to note it as something to look forward to.

Of course, the last milestone promise I made to myself is about to fail miserably.  I was supposed to go to Paris this year.  I made that promise to myself about 6 years ago...but it was originally deadlined as May 2005.  Well, when my marriage broke up, I didn't see Paris as the romantic getaway anymore...but this husband has said we'd go.  We were to go next weekend, but the recent riots changed his mind for him. Now he's arranged to take ownership of a new car next weekend, so we won't be able to go.  At least I'll be driving a  Mercedes next month!!!!!

Anyway, Paris will always be there...and he's actually planning for my birthday next year.  That's not a bad plan...April in Paris!!!  My favourite scent as a young girl (got an empty bottle from somewhere, and it smelled lovely!!)!  I always knew I would go there..and I will!!!!

Things are looking much better now that I'm writing these things down!

~quietly

 

 

I promise myself...

to stop swearing!

Since I have noticed that foul words come out of my mouth almost every every day before I've even had brekkie, I am going to have to curb it.  Its wrong, makes me feel bad / guilty / negative / angry and that starts my day off terrible!!

I don't know what alternative will work--certainly choco is out of the question now (see blog on Health for reference!! LOL)  Injuring myself is foolish. 

Maybe I will just have to keep an actual record of when I do it, and then walk a mile for every instance...ok....maybe for every 5 or 10 instances to start..otherwise I'll exhaust myself...LOL!!!

Cool idea, eh?

~ quietly