Thoughts, dreams and fears

I received this e-mail the other day and thought it was beautiful.

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day..

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do..

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love ! you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

----------------------------------

In memory of all those who lost their lives

and those they left behind. 

September 11, 2001

So it’s Sunday.  I had to decide today if I am going back to work tomorrow or not.  I really don’t want to go but I’m feeling ok, and the longer I leave it to go back, the worse I’ll feel about it.   

I’m really lacking in motivation at the moment.  On Friday night I started crying and couldn’t stop.  There was nothing wrong, apart from me not feeling like myself and still being in a bit of pain.   

Not looking forward to work tomorrow at all.  I hope my workmate doesn’t feel like giving me a hard time because I just don’t think I could handle it.  Either that or I’ll snap and tell her where to go…

What a terrible week it’s been.

We’ve lost two great Aussies, Steve Irwin and Peter Brock. When I heard about Steve Irwin I was in shock.  I’ve never met him before in my life, but I felt like I’d lost a friend.  Many people I’ve spoken to about him have felt the same way.  It’s incredible that someone you don’t even know can have that impact on you. 

Now Peter Brock too, another great Aussie icon lost.  That too was a shock.  In both cases, I was hoping it was some sort of stupid false rumour that started and spread like wildfire.  But it wasn’t to be. 

Both great Australians were taken long before their time. 

My deepest sympathies go out to both the families and friends of these amazing people.

I had to go to hospital for an operation yesterday.  My Mum came with me.  We got there at 7.30am and Mum sat and waited with me for 3.5 hours until it was my turn to go.  Then she waited in the waiting room for me to be discharged for another 6.5 hours.  No one else there had someone to sit there and wait with them, when they were ready to go home, the nurses called someone to pick them up.  How lucky I am to have such a great Mum who will sit and wait for me for hours.  And when I came home my Dad had bought me a bunch of flowers and some Lego (because as kids, whenever we stayed home sick from school Dad ALWAYS bought us Lego!). 

I’ve got the best family, I’m so, so lucky.