Thoughts, dreams and fears

Was just watching a talk show…they had this guy on there who flirts and has on occasion cheated with other women.  Why??  Because his wife has put on weight, after carrying 2 of their children.  His wife was gorgeous.  It’s bad enough the guy is that much of a jerk, but why does the woman put up with that?  She shouldn’t have to change to suit this “ideal” that her jerk of a husband has about how she should look, or how she used to look before she got pregnant with HIS children.  And even if she did lose weight, what would he pick on next?  Would he think it fair if she started cheating on him because his hair started to thin out?

I think the “men” that ridicule or humiliate their wives/partners for putting on weight after having children are very, very low.

I’m feeling pretty annoyed and disheartened at the moment. 

 

My friend (the one whose Mum is sick) sent me a message the other night saying her Mum had organised a surprise trip for her to go away for the Easter break, and guess who was charitable enough to take her on this trip? 

 

Her boss, who she’s “just friends” with. 

 

I’m sorry, I just don’t buy it.  I was happy for her to have a break away because I know she’s been stressed but COME ON.  I don’t expect very much from her at all, apart from honesty.  I have told her too many times that if she is involved with him fine, I won’t think any different of her but please be honest with me about it.

 

I’m pissed off actually.  I’m not stupid.  And it does hurt that she won’t just tell me the truth.  I tell her everything and to think that she doesn’t value me enough to be honest about what’s happening in her life is pretty hurtful.

 

What am I supposed to do!? 

Tonight my boyfriend and I got talking about when we first got together, almost five years ago.  We worked together, I liked him but from afar.  He used to finish work an hour before me, and when I drove home I’d drive past his house (because he lived around the corner from me) and most days he would be sitting outside and would wave to me.  I found out a while after we started seeing each other that those days, he was sitting out the front of his house just to see me and wave to me!  I was so rapt when one of his friends at work told me he was “sweet” on me!!  I love reminiscing about those days. 

 

I can’t really “reminisce” about most of my ex boyfriends and some of the shitty things they did to me. 

 

Like the guy I dated from work when I was younger.  Of course, you never think at the time when he leaves your house on a Saturday night to go out with his mates, that he’s going to find himself a new girlfriend then dump you.  But I’m proud of myself because even though it was extremely hard to pick myself up and keep going back to work when I knew everyone there knew what had happened, I still kept working.  I realize now that the only reason he was even “interested” in me was because he had heard I’d dated someone 5 years older than me, when I was 14.  I think this made him believe that I was “easy”.  But I wasn’t, which probably lead him to find someone who was!!  I didn’t find out till a couple of years later that he had told the guys at work that I had slept with him.

 

Then one of the more memorable relationships I’ve had was with this really hot guy, I liked him a lot.  Things seemed to be going well until he moved to the next state with his parents claiming he would be back.  I waited 3 months for him, well more like wasted 3 months on him.  I will never do the long distance thing again.  We used to talk every few days, but one day, about 3 months after he had left he called me up to tell me that his ex girlfriend had showed up with a 4 year old boy she claimed was his.  So of course him being such a noble fella, decided he should stay up there and support her and the son.  I thought “Geez, is there not an easier way to break up with someone than invent a son”!!!  I was happy to leave the compulsive liar behind.

 

I really appreciate the kind of relationship I have now, I love him, he loves me and we trust each other.  And I know he would never do any of the mean crap that the guys of my past have.

 

It’s great to be in love!!

My Mum mentioned the other day she saw these people protesting with signs linking abortions to breast cancer.

 

HOW DARE THEY!!!

 

How the hell can they do that?  Are they trying to say that anyone who has an abortion brings breast cancer on themselves?  Or anyone with breast cancer MUST have had an abortion?  I’m infuriated.  It’s so wrong.  Nobody deserves cancer and they certainly don’t deserve to have these wackos walking around with their half baked ideas about what causes breast cancer.

 

There’s one thing I can’t stand and it’s people protesting about things that are NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS, especially the ones that do it at abortion clinics.  Who the hell do they think they are?  I don’t think any woman who chooses to have an abortion makes the decision lightly, and what right does anyone have to judge them for it?  These do-gooder protesters aren’t going to raise the child, support it in the way it needs now are they?  NO.  So I don’t understand why protesters feel the need to make other people’s PRIVATE lives their business.  Maybe they need to get a job, or a life of their own and keep their noses out of things that don’t concern them at all.

 

It makes me really angry.

 

I’m feeling pretty angry at the moment, I’ve been really irritable and snappy for the last couple of days for no real reason.  I think it’s the pill I’m on so I’m going to go and get an implant in my arm and see if that improves anything.  Hopefully it will…