Thoughts, dreams and fears

Jan 22, 2006 at 07:55 o\clock

The past...

The other day, at my work, I came face to face with someone who was the spitting image of an old boyfriend.  Bleached hair was the only thing different about him.

 

I couldn’t be sure it was him.  He moved away five years ago and he would have no reason to come back here.

 

But when I saw this guy, I felt…nothing.

 

Nothing at all.

 

I feel like the past is coming back to haunt me.

 

So today, I opened up a padlocked box full of diaries, letters and mementoes from the last eleven years.  I don’t often look in that box.

 

I had written in my diary a fair bit about this guy, and according to these entries, I loved him a lot.

 

How can it be that I don’t remember just how much?

 

Do you just let go of the past and forget the ones you cared about?

 

And how come I’m not the same person I used to be years ago?

 

I feel like I’m older than I should be.

 

I’ve lost something.