PixieDust Scribbles

Mood: bored out of my gourd
Listening to: nothing

It's been one of those days.  It was really cold lastnite and I couldn't warm up.  I wore a sweatshirt and night pants and socks to bed lastnite, wasn't enuff.  I now have on 2 pair of pants, 2 pair of socks, and my sweatshirt on and a jacket to cover my legs.  It's not like me to have so many clothes on.

The bf is really sick and needs to go to the hospital and be admitted but he wants to take a bath first.  How dumb is that I ask you.

It's warmer outside than it is in this damndable trailer.  Bf had someone put out the pilot light for the heat and now we have to find someone to re-light it. 

But with the prices of heat going up, it's kinda scary even thinking about turning the heat on..Found out the bf had his window open the past couple of nites too.  That doesn't help any. 

I wish he'd just go on to the hospital and get admitted and get it over with.  I could use a couple of days alone.  Peace and quiet, not having to hear him puke or bitch about how sick he is.  He's suppose to have a dr's appt tomorrow and he won't even go to that. He'd rather stay at home, look and act pitiful and want me to pity him.  He wants to lie down with me, hah, I don't want what he's got. It's his own fault he's ill.  He doesn't take his meds like he should and he's suppose to order them before he runs out. He doesn't.  His own fault.  So I hope he goes to the hospital soon cuz there is nothing I can do for him but take him there,  we know they will admit him if he goes, that's why he's putting it off, he doesn't like the hospital, boo hoo.

I'm fine, not sick (YET) and don't want to be.  Just cold. I go outside to warm up.  That's how cold it is in this trailer.  Nice outside, cold inside.

Mood: bored
Listening to: Childs Play on tv

Well, I'm back to bitch..  Closed Xanga once again.  Yeah, having family troubles there.  Thot I could trust someone and then boom. Isnt that the way it usually goes tho?

It's been nice and cool here in Iowa.  But when I get out of bed in the morning, it's freezing!!!!  Guess it just shows you that you have to get up and moving to get the blood circulated in the mornings.

So now this is my home.....my main journal......YAY!!!!! 

Not much else happening here, just had to close my xanga and yahoo and sign up for a new account on yahoo.  no biggie.

Mood: bored out of my gourd
Listening to: wrestling on tv

been a buzy little pixie.  Not really, Sister has been online with me for 2 weeks solid, maybe more, dk. 

guess sometime today I will get to cleaning up the trailer a bit. 

My sister is taking care of my dad and worrying about her husband who works out of state in different states. 

Daughter lost her job.  Just really a boring life here.  See ya!!!

Mood: rambling on
Listening to: nothing.

It's gonna be another one of those days.  I didn't cook breakfast and he is already bitchin' about it in his own little way.  Oh well.  I'm not married to him and I'm not his mommie.  I shouldn't have to do these things, for pete's sake, he's 47 years old.

I think he's mad too because my daughter bought me a hampster and he said if I can come up with the money to get one and the stuff it needs, I could have one, guess what, My daughter got it for me and now I think he's upset about it.  I couldn't keep the dog so I gave it back to my daughter and the cats are outside.  I wanted an animal to keep me happy.  So I got a hampster and it's name is Wheeler cuz it likes to be on the wheel 90% of the time when it is awake.

I am here where I live because he needs me, I don't need him.  I do all the shitty work here cuz he's too lazy.  He lets his dirty clothes pile up, he won't take a shower when he starts to smell dead, he won't put his dishes in the sink but rather around it.   He sleeps all day when his mom doesn't need him to do something.  so basically, he needs me, or his mom, to do chores here. 

I asked him why he thinks his mom will do all the work if I left, he said "Because my momma loves me".  Well right now his mom has a lot she has to do, her husband just had a lung removed and her brother has been in the hospital for 2 weeks.  He expects too much from women.  He can do his own laundry, fix his own food, and whatever else.  He's just plain lazy.  Thats all there is to it.  If I found a job and made good money, I'd leave him.  In a heartbeat.

 

I would rent a place and pay my own bills, eat good food, and buy myself a little something once in a while.  I use to do that.  Then I  hooked up with mr. wrong.  YAY me,  way to go.  Oh well, enuff rambling.  Hope you all have a great day.

 

 

Mood: distraught
Listening to: niegbor and his tractor

I wrote this once.  And it messed up.

I got up early this morning but of course I went to bed early lastnite, headache.  Dont' you just hate those?  I do.

Anyway, my sister is in OKC.  I got to chat with her a while lastnight via messenger. She is looking pretty decent.  About 3 or 4 years ago she looked sickly, bad drug usage.  But she's doing good now.  Her job takes her all over the place.  She goes to Memphis soon.  Isnt' that where Graceland is?  Maybe she'll go see it.  She's so lucky.  I also have a brother I haven't spoke to in about 3 or 4 years.  He just got bailed out of jail for dui.  He has a pretty decent job too.  And he's a looker.  Just can't keep his pecker in his pants.  He's been married 5 times. Twice to some woman. 

I'm just glad my daddy loves all of us.  Even tho he says my brother isn't his.  He says it's not who planted the seed but who helped it grow, and he's right. My dad isn't doing too good.  But he's not dead either. 

I myself just sit around doing absolutely nothing, and it makes me feel like a loser.  My bf is disabled (or so he thinks) and has me doing for him, which sux. I live in a rinky dink town where there aren't any jobs.  I shoulda stayed in OKC when I was there.  But there were problems and I thought the problems here were better than the one's in OKC.  I coulda made it if I had a job there.  But no, I come back here to nothing.  How retarded could I get?  Well let me tell you.  I came back here thinkiing if he missed me enuff, he would change,  WRONG!!!!  Pretty retarded huh?  Well, enuff about me,  gonna go.  Bf should be getting up in about an hour, if he gets up at all today.  I swear that man is going to die in bed.  That's all he does.  SLEEP   SLEEP    SLEEP     SLEEP.  He's so boring.  He thinks he needs this sleep, no wonder he has no energy, he sleeps it off too.  I love to hate him.

Mood: bored as hell
Listening to: the fan rattling in my ear

Just so freakin bored anymore, all I do is play on this computer and nothing else.  Got all my chores done except folding and putting my clean clothes away. 

My sister is OKC until Saturday or Sunday and then she's gonna meet her loser of a boyfriend in Memphis.  I secretly think she's scared of leaving him, he's one of those dangerous types. 

She will be staying with my dad, who is terminally ill, but not for good.  Which is needless to say a sad thing. 

She will try to go see her daughter but my cousin is going to stand in the way of that.  I say if my niece wants to see her mom then it is totally up to her, not my cousin. 

Not much else to write so Blessed Be to All....SO MOTE IT BE!!!