another day to fight for
havent been in here for ages,,,, busy at work so no time to loggin.... was quite upset last few days as i feel that i hv to compomise ppl and yet no one do the same to me,,,, makes me feel alone in the world sometime,,, he's still in deep shit and im still in misery due to it,, when can we break out of this shits,,, it is adding stress our relationship as i feel alone and not able to talk to him as i know i will bring more hassle to him... maybe im too considerate that he didnt know i need help and support too,,, too independent in his eyes is not a good move,,,,, sian
my mate had added a new baby girl to their family,,,, hee hee, and im still single with him, we both tot of marraige but we hv lots of things to settle b4 being able settle down and njoy life,,,,
sometime i do blame him for the situation im in now,, ,, ,, but he do needs support fm me and others to get thru this,, will be be 4ever??? am i wasting me bloody time with him and not getting anywhere for so many many yrs,,, always in the same step and not getting up or down,,,,
im not looking good this moment and i blame him for taking up my spare time, as i feel this is a commitment towards him tt i felt it is not right to leave.... maybe i do hv to reorganize mi life so i wont be that stress out,, but tt will mean not enuff time for him,, and this makes me feel bad for leaving him alone at the stall,, having to wash and close while he had been there since morning, then i forgets tt i wake up so god damn early to work then going over after work to his side, hv dinner then close stall with him,,,, im tired too right??? then we cant communicate as he hv enuff shits to handle le,,,,
maybe i do need to meet up a shrink to get things out of my chest,,, as i just dont wanna stress ppl around mi,, the shrink wont be as stress as those around me , at least not that early as we still dont knoe each other much ,,,,,,
hv to go now,, rushing to my fren's baby's buffet... luv her a lot but always not able to help much as i hv this big baby to handle... sadd......MWAH
