Weblog of Phoebe

Jul 10, 2006 at 22:23 o\clock

my tots of the day

Mood: 50%-50%

Hi ,,, havent wrote for a long while,,, well things are still the same except tt I HAD MY LAPTOP NOW - finally sia.. miss a person, but cant say who la, oh ya,,, company got me namecard sia - admin exe now,,, ha ha position raise but not pay i think at most 50 or 100 bucks,, better than nothing lor,, as i keep saying IM A RECEPTIONIST leh,, HAHAHA, well this is to make me looks better la,, better than nothing,, GUA PAI ER YI.. ha ha, mom b-day soon, haven know what to do with it, but she's going overseas after tt so should be fine as i can sponser a little for her trip not much just as much as i can .. anyone in a divorce family>? how to you cope with it, i mean im ok with the situation but $wise i hv to support both, which is eating me out. mom keep nagging abt me givin him $$ but he is not working leh, of cos i cant just leave him alone right, moreover the $ i gave is not enuff for him to spend much but just basic needs. sometimes i feel stress over this matter as she will bring this up all the time, then when im not happy she will thinks tt i am stupid as he ddnt look after me when i was young and yet always beat me. i can understand the reason why she hate him so much and thinks tt he deserve to be left alone, not now when i had grow up and can look after him.... well,, but I JUST CANT DO IT LEH, im not able to leave him in alone and not look after him ma morever we dont keep in contact much,, unless he needs $$ or i had trfed him $$.. he lives far fm me - from singaporean point of views. so we contact thru ph most of the time nia, tts y i hv to lie on the amt i gave him just in case shes mad and starts to nag again, for my good i know but in this situation, i choose to lor, as i dont think its right to leave him alone and not looking after him as much as i could'// well hv a great day all, comin in to de-stress again soon, in the meantime take care (>.<) happy b-day mom, i LUV U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May 14, 2006 at 20:12 o\clock

%$#$%@$%#

Mood: NOT very happy but very free

well this site seems to be my Sad and not so happy tots corner

and yes,,, we had a tiff again.... this time over some litle stupid lies == guess it is due to us being close and the  distance time is here,,,, by doing little things to irritates me so by the time i cant stand we will hv cold war,,, == to be truthful, he didnt hv this in mind but cold war sure make us both relax,,, hee hee

well its ok la,, im coping it sweet this moment,,, miss him but i hv to stand strong == he is the one tt lose in the end anyway,,,  hes always like this ----\\ making me angry when i start to trust him liao,.  bloody hell.... at least gives him peace for a while ,,,, distance make the hearts fonder mah hee hee hee

well this is getting into me thou when i tot of me having to bear this for the rest of my life,,,;;;; %^$%#&%$$  so sian man,,, but no choice la,,, if i gonna choose him this will be the way to go.... dont think there will be another way round to make it different liao == things are not done, promises not kept, but overall we are ok la

got to run = late liao,,,, meeting moi very best fren,,, mwah mwah mwah

oh ya

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD,,.... ITS THE TOTS TT COUNTS REMEMBER !!!

Apr 2, 2006 at 11:17 o\clock

MWah

LUV1.. ......... will be back soon!!!!

Mar 9, 2006 at 12:16 o\clock

veli long no ci liao

havent been up for a long time.... well things are not improving and yet going fm bad to worse..... he had occured abt 15K debts now!!! Y some ppl just wont learn fm mistakes and yet know how to talk about it like they hv realise the harm and foolishness they hd made themselves to be seen as ......,, and yet.. DO IT AGAIN & AGAIN...>>>>   really like to know is it stupid or wat,,,,,, well,,, guess i am stupid as well,.,,, just tt we are stupid on diff things nia,,, one for luv, the other for excitement on gambling.....

every day is a chore as he is avoiding his family and some of his frens... of cos la!!! they are dissappointed with him liao ma,,,,  then i ganna blame by one of his buddy ( who he owes $$ to as well ) ...... look,,, this is fustratin as i had talked abt it, nagged abt it,,, scold him abt it,, many ways,,, soft, hard, nag, loving, hints ,,, yet he still wanna do it,,, what can i do>>>>> i cant watch his every moves ma>>>>>>>>>>>makes me feel sad and angry as who will walk in mi shoe... see how it good it is,, >>>>> having mom who will nag when she finds out,,,,>>>> never encouraging in the way tt i will accept ,,,>>>>>  like no matter how i try to improve or do she will find fault/s ......   look i am NOT IN FAULT IF HE CANT SHIT...>>>>> everything is up to himself to change ,,,, we can guide him but last deceision is still up to himself,,,,,,,   NOBODY IS ABLE TO WATCH ANYONE FOR 24/7..... im not upset meh it makes mi life hard as well leh ,,,,,,, no matter what,,  i dont see it as mi fault,,, BUT I SUFFER W HIM OK!!! N WHO ELSE!!!!!!  WHEN HE HV MONEY,,, WHO IS HE SHARING WITH,,, HIS BUDDIES okie okie, be fair,,, a little on me,, watch movies and more movies or eat better ,,,, ( not a lot ok!!! so dont think of diamonds or shopping or jewellry ) ....... When in debt who share and suffer with him,, ME ME and ME.......

aiya,,, gotta go,,, hope i will be able to come back in soon to let off again,, just hope things will get better asap,,>>>>>>>>>> still luv him ,, STUPID ME!!!!! GUESS NOT MUCH LIKE MI IN THE WORLD NOW!!>>>> 

Feb 14, 2006 at 05:57 o\clock

Happy V Day

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY