http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker Following another path on my journey to a greater sense of oneness. en pathseeker pathseeker Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:41:32 +0200 daily 1 I've been very slack in seeking my path.  The trivia of everyday work and home and the stresses that accompany it all take over.  And yet it shouldn't.  I should put aside time to de-stress, to meditate, to find that peace within.  It's the procrastination - the feeling that it requires so much effort, and it's so silly to feel that way.  I've done little in the course I undertook last year and I feel guilty about that.  I got the tutor then didn't contact her again.  It's terrible.  I have been busy with postgraduate study and this is my poor excuse, but really, it's no excuse at all, to put off finding peace of mind. I made an effort last night to catch up on the readings and only managed one because it made me ponder.  It mentioned something about being scared of our 'light' and 'beauty' and hiding them from the world.  This is so true.  I've always worn dark colours and plain clothes, not wanting to stand out, not wanting... Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:41:32 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Making-an-effort/11/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Making-an-effort/11/ I had been given a sheet of paper with a contact on it for getting a tutor or finding out who mine was.  Well the response wasn't encouraging.  I was just informed I would have a had a blue sheet of paper earlier on which was an application for a tutor.  Thanks very much. It's these petty little unhelpful bureaucratic annoyances that get at me.  Must learn patience. Just heard from a druid friend that one of their number is quite nasty and condescending.  Evidently she hasn't gone through the 'grades' or felt anything within them because a more 'enlightened' druid as she should be would be tolerant and understanding, encouraging and listening and she's quite the opposite by the sounds of it.  I often hear about political power struggles in these 'new age' organisations and it's such total bullshit.  If they were truly what they claim to be they wouldn't indulge in it.  If you've achieved peace of mind and learned on your spiritual journey you wouldn't... Sat, 24 Jun 2006 11:05:56 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Finding-a-tutor/10/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Finding-a-tutor/10/ Amongst the material from OBOD, before going any further in the 'lessons', was a self-initiation.  This I put off for a week, and still didn't feel the urge to do it.  I've never been really into ritual and, although simple, I didn't feel I wanted to do it. But this morning I decided to watch a video called "Sukhavati, place of bliss, A Mythic Journey with Joseph Campbell".  It was the precursor I needed to motivate me.  An interesting video, which didn't really teach me anything I didn't already know, but reminded me of what I knew and how to go about finding it within me again.  My goal - "is to dissolve like a dewdrop into the sea" as Campbell said - to forget the trivialities of the present - the stuff we all know is unimportant and yet we worry and fret about it all.  It's something I always strive to remind myself - 'who's going to know in a hundred years', or even closer - 'will I remember or care in one year?'.  The answer is almost invariably... Sat, 17 Jun 2006 03:55:40 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Finding-peace/9/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Finding-peace/9/ Luckily I enquired about more OBOD material from my contact.  While I was on leave from work an envelope of material had been left in my in-tray.  When I got back no such envelope was found by me.  I don't know who took it but I didn't get it.  So naturally it was assumed I'd received it.  A mystery what happened to it.... So onwards! Wed, 07 Jun 2006 09:57:04 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/More-material/8/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/More-material/8/ Well, I'm disappointed I still haven't received anything further but that doesn't stop me finding inspiration in the environment, books, etc.  I am reading about 4 books at the moment, two of which I delved into last night.  One, entitled Earth Dance Drum, talked about fate, free will and purpose and had this to say: "Fate is the expression of the Spirit World's intent, desire and directional input.  Think of the coincidences that have taken place during your life.  Think of the opportunities that have been offered to you.  Think of how one person has made a difference in your life.  This is fate. Free will includes choices and decisions.  Life is a series of choices.  We are constantly making choices and must live with their consequences.  We design our own life each day with our decisions.  Do today what you are able, for the most unfortunate and consequential decision/choice we can make is inactivity/indecision. Purpose is the big idea meant... Wed, 31 May 2006 07:47:38 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Inspiration/7/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Inspiration/7/ I've become more interested in wanting to drum lately.  I've always liked drums and drums are a great way to reach an alternative state.  Well anyway, I obtained a cheap hand drum late last year and didn't do anything with it, thinking that I'm hopeless on any musical instrument and remembering the random noise I got when I tried playing my brother's drumset years ago.  But an opportunity came up last month to go to a drumming circle, with a drumming workshop beforehand, so I went along carrying my cheap drum (and saw several others with the same drum, hehe).  I was disappointed in the person taking the session.  He wasn't helpful at all and instead kept repeating that it's like learning to walk - you just do it.  Thanks.  Eventually he touched on different beats, but really he was no good.  Later that evening at the drum circle I just tried to pick up on the beats of others around me and really enjoyed it. I've had about 4 books out of the library about hand... Sat, 20 May 2006 05:34:11 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Drumming/6/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Drumming/6/ Well, finally I was able to create a new account and have transferred all previous entries.  Sorry to lose any comments! I'm still waiting for material.  I can't blame anyone because my contact has been away, so I'll remind him tomorrow. Still working on the appearance so forgive any ghastly colours as I try to work it out. Sun, 14 May 2006 02:27:19 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Finally/5/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/Finally/5/ I've yet to receive more druid material but this is not a problem.  I'm also waiting for blogigo to finish whatever they're doing so I can create a new weblog and delete this account. By chance I found out today that a former acquaintance of mine belongs to a group of druids in a nearby city.  It is interesting to find out that people you knew are pagans as well.  We  tend to keep to ourselves and not advertise the fact. Back later.  Busy weekend ahead. Sun, 14 May 2006 02:25:16 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/3-May-Waiting/4/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/3-May-Waiting/4/ I feel a little tired, even drained. Before heading to the druid ceremony I sat and reflected at a local park where my parents took us as kids.  It's changed since then.  They've opened it up, taking down trees, blocking off car access to some parts, and opening a cafe.  I remembered when there were no plastic playground parts - just a couple of see-saws and swings and one large slide.  I loved them all.  I remembered my mother on the other end of the see-saw and either both my brother and I on the other end or just me and she would jump up so I could go down.  I remembered taking the dogs for a walk through the trees (now dogs are not permitted in certain areas) and coming back to the car for a coffee from a thermos flask and dunking gingernut biscuits in the coffee, watched by the dogs. Both parents are deceased now so happy and sad memories.  I was the first to arrive at the house of one of the druids.  They were making faces in... Sun, 14 May 2006 02:24:23 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/30-April-Strangeness/3/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/30-April-Strangeness/3/ I received the introductory material last week - a reflection of the history and meaning of 'druidry' for lack of a better term.  I will keep a journal in a notebook as well, making note of the exercises they recommend, eg meditating in your private grove - something I've done before.  I once meditated at the foot of a gum tree and learned so much from it.  Many people will think I'm a tree-hugging nutter.  I don't dispute that for a minute.  I don't actually go around hugging trees.  I touch them, yes.  I admire them, feel them, learn from them.  As for being a nutter.  Sure, why not.  It's a label.  Anyway I digress. As I live in the southern hemisphere, today we're celebrating Samhuinn.  I have, in a way, been preparing for it.  I had a rather humiliating experience yesterday and felt a little lost and dependent.  I watched a movie last night which was about feeling lost and alienated.  Last night... Sun, 14 May 2006 02:22:49 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/29-April-Week-One/2/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/29-April-Week-One/2/   The home page at pantheism.net  explains what it feels like.  I answered yes to these questions: Do you feel a deep sense of peace and belonging and wonder in the midst of nature, in a forest, by the ocean, or on a mountain top? Are you speechless with awe when you look up at the sky on a clear moonless night and see the Milky Way strewn with stars as thick as sand on a beach?      When you see breakers crashing on a rocky shore, or hear wind rustling in a poplar's leaves, are you uplifted by the energy and creativity of existence? Do you find it impossible to believe in supernatural beings, and difficult to conceive of anything more worthy of reverence than the beauty of nature or the power of the universe? And this is the sort of thing I read in that book that hit a nerve - that finally made sense to me.  All those feelings I'd had throughout life - that had meaning to me. I just thought I'd add that, which I... Sun, 14 May 2006 02:20:55 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/29-April-2006-So-what-does-pagan-mean/1/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/pathseeker/29-April-2006-So-what-does-pagan-mean/1/