Mood: relaxed
Amongst the material from OBOD, before going any further in the 'lessons', was a self-initiation. This I put off for a week, and still didn't feel the urge to do it. I've never been really into ritual and, although simple, I didn't feel I wanted to do it.
But this morning I decided to watch a video called "Sukhavati, place of bliss, A Mythic Journey with Joseph Campbell". It was the precursor I needed to motivate me. An interesting video, which didn't really teach me anything I didn't already know, but reminded me of what I knew and how to go about finding it within me again. My goal - "is to dissolve like a dewdrop into the sea" as Campbell said - to forget the trivialities of the present - the stuff we all know is unimportant and yet we worry and fret about it all. It's something I always strive to remind myself - 'who's going to know in a hundred years', or even closer - 'will I remember or care in one year?'. The answer is almost invariably 'no-one' or 'no'.
I want to feel that peace of being at one - the "rapture of beholding".
But anyway, the video got me in the mood to try this self-initiation and simply by lighting candles and incense and focusing, I relaxed and remembered how it was to meditate before. It was short enough and simple enough to be done easily. Only the choice of one word didn't gel with me but I'll deal with that later.
I did two meditations - one during the 'initiation', gazing on the candles and imagining myself as a candle wick - my life was the flame and although it wavered and struggled, it was still alight. For the flame to go out meant death and then I imagined a universe of candles - each representing a person or animal and seeing them waver and twinkle as many 'snuffed it' and many were lit - so quickly and so widespread that you didn't see the individual candle, but saw the whole vastness of candlelight twinkling, as some went out and some came into being.
The second meditation was after the initiation. I had been given a CD of a guided meditation. I found it a bit slow and again the choice of words distracted me, but the end result was the same - a feeling of peace and harmony and realising that I can achieve this at any time. It's such a simple thing to sit, light a candle, relax, and just be, and yet we all make the excuse that we haven't time. What is more important than the wellbeing of your soul and body that we can't set aside that time?
