Papo Papo

Mar 30, 2005 at 16:16 o\clock

1. The Morning After

It wasn't so much the alcohol, I suppose, as the fact that I have just gone through a difficult breakup. It's inevitable that when one of my short term, intense relationships goes sour, there's going to be a bit of a rebound. But this?
When I first woke up this morning, things were a little hazy. Well, maybe more than a little. There was an internal argument going on. My head was telling me not to move; even breathing made the pounding worse. My stomach, on the other hand, insisted that rather than lying in bed, a much more appropriate position would be leaning over a white porcelain bowl. The stomach won out, and I just made it. Thank God.
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We didn't plan anything fancy, just a blanket, some fruit and two friends talking. When he picked me up at my hotel room, I was prepared for a quiet and intimate afternoon. He took me to a spot next to the river, where the breeze blew through the leaves and the water babbled nearby. We made sure we were secluded from people, so that they wouldn't hear our conversation. Since we had met once before and communicated daily, by email, we knew our conversations could be a little provocative for some people. As we walked along the river, to find a place to sit we had only been talking about the weather and the niceness of my hotel room.
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I sat on the blanket he had laid out and fidgeted, crossing and uncrossing my legs, trying to get comfortable. I wanted to talk about something deeper, but I didn't know where to start. He would look at me and then look away, as if he wasn't sure what to say either. I also had a sense that there was a sexual charge in the air, but I wasn't sure what to do about it; he must have felt it too. I think that's why we couldn't look each other in the eye. After I stopped giggling and fidgeting a thick silence fell over us. He broke the tension; a little when he said, "You're beautiful," and I knew he wasn't just saying that.


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