1-22-06 about 3am
Mood: puzzled, not very happy
Listening to: nothing
have you ever wondered why it is that early in the morning you really think about yourself? who you are, what you were, what you've become, and the people in your life. the incubus lyric "and it seems as though i'm going, no where really fucking fast" comes to mind. i'm frankly sick of how my life is going. no companion, in some opinions i drink too much, failed several times to stop smoking cigs, and my college career is in the toilet. i keep telling myself, find a companion to take your mind off everything, but it seems not to be that simple. for some reason i fear being in another relationship. i want control and stability in my life but at the same time i think, what will i do without my friends and will i really be happy? music is about the only aspect of my life that makes me happy and lately i've been coming up short with finding other musicians to jam with. i just don't know what to do, who to trust, or where to look for happiness.
