Tactical nukes.
THE DAILY CODSWALLOP
Tuesday 13th September 2005
Bush Eyes Nuclear Option
Stop or be nuked, that was the US Presidents' stark warning to Iran yesterday. President Bush has asked military experts for a feasibility report on Whitehouse plans to nuke Iran. The two-term President is believed to be a great admirer of nuclear weapons and has been itching to drop a couple ever since he first shot to power in November 2001 after he lost by 500,000 votes.
High praise for Truman
A resolute and determined president said this last night - "My greatest hero of all time is Harry Truman because he dropped an atom bomb or two ... and that killed some Japanese and deterred the Ruskies. President Truman hung tough back then and showed 'em who was boss, I intend to hang tough now". That's how to honour Mr Truman's legacy".Thats how to keep America great.
Iran is first target
Behind the scenes at the Whitehouse this week, aides and colleagues have been talking up the idea of using tactical nukes on rogue states such as Iran if they do not fall into line. Family man Bush has vowed that evil-doers will not get their way , or at least not on his watch, and the plucky president believes nuking Iran is a more viable option than fighting a war with conventional weapons. Said the Prez, "Iran needs a good slapping to bring it to its senses" and I'll be damned if I'm gonna' be a chickenhawk about that like Jimmy Carter was. Bring it on!!!!".
Latest U.S. ultimatum
The Whitehouse has dispatched a brief communique to Iran's brand new President . It simply reads:-
"We would love to nuke you off the face of the planet so go ahead with your nuclear plans, make our day! You are shitheads!"
Whitehouse staffers deny that the President swore in writing to his fellow statesman. The Whitehouse now await Iran's reply.
