The Daily Bullsitter

THE DAILY CADSWALLOP

Thursday 22nd 2005

GEORGE BUSH HAS ENEMIES LIST

Whitehouse aides have been rocked by allegations that incumbent President George Bush has entered his unlikely second term with a list of enemies and now the testy Prez may suffer another steep decline in popularity for his trouble.  Said one close aide, "He wants all the people on this list whacked... and its a long list but he thinks its do-able, if only because he thinks he can claim national security reasons for the hits.  He makes Nixon look like the tooth fairy."

Bush is loony bin bound

Sources close to the Oval Office say that boss of the USA is getting worse and now aides  have  dubbed Bush's oddball behavior as "The Madness of King George".  Said a high-ranking official "If people knew how f**ked up Bush is, he'd be in a high security asylum for the criminally insane now.  He is a menace."

Bush wants more people dead

It is alleged that a large number of people wouldn't be dead were it not for the eccentric forty third US Prez but now freinds fear that he wants more.  "Every day there's another one he orders killed", said a friend "he e-mails people two or three times a day about it.  We have to prentend that the Secret Service are carrying out national securiry assassinations practically all the time now."

Us or Him? 

Washington  insiders are now so alarmed by these developments that they are seemingly starting to break ranks.  The pugilistic Prez's has even left a paper trail that leads right back to him.  One such memo was leaked directly to this newspaper.  

Shut it or else

And now the nation's  favourite tabloid,  the soaraway "Bullshitter News" is determined to publish the damning document  as soon as we can.  For now, sneeky Whitehouse lawyers have a temporary gagging order  in place .  We are determined to bring our readers a full accounting once we have once we win our court case to have the order removed