Me.

Mood: pretty happy
Listening to: r kelly

Home from school for dinner.

 

Why is Rob threatening me, just because I don't want to be with him?

I want to hit him.

With a very big stick.

 

Why is it such a bad thing to love Paul?

I can't help feeling like this!

I effing heart him with all my effing heart.  Woo.

 

I'm pretty happy today actually.  I think I'm turning over a new leaf!  I've been trying to find this poem for ages though, and it's annoying me because I can't find it anywhere!  It's called "Think of Me".  I found it sometime last year or the year before, and gave it to a friend who was thinking about committing suicide :( anyway, it was a really nice poem of what I can remember, and yeah, I just kind of wanted to read it again.  But meh, nevermind.

These blogs are good.  I can ramble on and on and on, and if you don't want to listen, then fuck off.  But this means I don't have to bother Ste so much, with all my shit!

Isn't it wierd though, that random strangers can read these blogs?  I mean, a 50 year old managing director could be sitting at his desk, and read my blog.  He doesn't know who the hell I am, but he knows my most inner, deep thoughts/feelings etc.  I could walk past him in the street, tomorrow, and he wouldn't know I was the 17 year old he'd been learning about the night before.  It's so odd!

I think about things too much though.

Do you ever get pissed off about people thinking they know you, the real you, but they blatantly don't?  I can safely say that only two or three people know the real me, and none of them are my family.  I guess not many teenagers would tell their family everything though.  But still, I spend a hell of a lot of time at my house, but I might aswell just be living with the random strangers who read my blog!  I don't know them, they don't me, and frankly, I don't actually give a shit.  Well, I get on really well with my brother, but he's kind of just s distant friend.  He has his life and I have mine.  Then there's my mum, and it's pretty much the same.  But my dad!  Eugh.  Don't let me get started on him.  What I was really trying to say though is my friends.  They call themselves my friends, but they might aswell call themselves back-stabbing, two-faced little shits.  In particular one.  She has a way of controlling all the people around her, which just makes me want to scream.  But not me.  I refuse to be controlled by her! 

I'm on a rant now, but tough shit, you're just gonna have to listen to me!  Why do people make comments about me being aggressive?  I don't get it.  It's not like I sit down and force myself to argue with someone.  I have never been involved in a proper fight with anyone, and I believe fighting is wrong, as it solves nothing.  But somehow, whatever I do, it's never good enough.  I'm trying to calm myself down.  I'm trying my fucking hardest!  I'm on calming tablets which are helping.  But yeah, give me a break for God's sake guys!  I can't change myself just because you want me to, I've never been able to.  So either put up with it or fuck the hell off!

Okay, I've got everything out of my system for the time being, and I'm needed back in school!

Laters people.