Me.

Mood: shit
Listening to: kelly clarkson

I hate feelin like this.

Like noone would give a shit if I disappeared.  It'd be so easy to just sneak off and runaway, never to be seen again.  I just want to get away from everythin :(

My dad's been having an affair.  As if that alone wasn't bad enough, it'd been going on for two years.  Two fuckin years.  Two years of betrayin my family, and making my mum, my brother and I look like fools.  I hate him, I truly do.  And I also think my mum is one of the stupidest people on earth, as she's taken him back and forgiven him, and acting as if nothing's happened.  Why can't I feel like this?  Why am I the one that's hurting so much.

And another thing that's bothering me is that I have to go to the doctors on thursday.  They're going to "assess my situation".  Why do they have to use fancy words?  Why can't they just say it's to see how fucked up I am.  I hate nosy people prying into my life where it doesn't concern them.  It's none of their business!

And then there's boys.  Don't even get me started on boys.  Si has completely messed my head up, more than it was before, in the worst possible ways.  And Paul...well, he has to be a friend doesn't he?  I read something he wrote the other day, about how he was feeling.  It was pretty much about how much I'd messed his head up.  And I have.  I feel so guilty, I can't keep messing him around.  I feel like I've lost the most precious thing in my life.  But it's too late!