The Calm Before the Storm

Mood: Tired and annoyed
Listening to: Aerosmith- Dude Looks like a Lady

I'm so sick of winter!  If it's not the bitterly cold wind it's the snow/ice that makes even going out to the car an adventure within itself.  I need a vacation, preferrably someplace WARM!  Where there's no one to fecking pester me from work. 

The drama and pettiness from work has really gotten to me the past few months.  I feel like I don't even matter to those people in the damn office.  I never get asked out to lunch, but I get left alone there in the office everytime, without a way for me to get my own food because SOMEONE has to be watching the office at all times. I just feel rather disposable to them.   It really makes me sad becasue of all the shit I do for them there. I bust my ass while I'm there.  I don't get half the pay I deserve and I don't get any of the praise of credit I think I deserve.  Fucking old biddies who think they are better than me.

*sigh*  Oh well, there's not much I can do about it now I guess.  I want to tell the ladies at work my good news but I'm afraid they'll just up and fire me.  Damn old bags trapped in the goddamn 1950s.  But I'd better stop my rant before I strain something or give myself an aneurism.

 

Mood: irratated
Listening to: Green Day- Welcome to Paradise

Ugh, the nausea has been pretty bad this week. I've puked twice this week and once was this morning.  That sucked. 

Went to the doctor yesterday.  I had to fill out a CRAPLOAD of paperwork and such so I can get health insurance.  I had to have blood drawn.  That blew massive squirrel ass.  I had to be stuck twice because I have shitty veins.  It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't draped the thin tube that carried the blood to the test tubes across my arm where I could still feel the warmth of my blood.  I damn near passed out. 

I talked with the nurse about me having a C-section and they told me it would only be as a last resort.  I was NOT happy.  I want a C-section.  Y'all have to realize that I am only 4 foot 11 and I only weigh 101 pounds.  I'm a tiny thing.  Trying to pass a fully-developed baby would tear me up and quite frankly, I don't want to be in intense pain for 20 hours and then the doc's like "well, OK Now we'll do a C-section" .  Stephen doesn't want to see me go through that kind of pain either.  He's delievered 3 babies (none of them his own) into this world as an EMT and he has seen what natural childbirth does to a woman.  Everyone thinks I'm fucking crazy for wanting a C-section.  They tell me that I'm not a good mother if I just have it C-Section.  My response is, "What the fuck? It's my body, my baby, and my choice".  Ugh, ignorant people piss me off!

Mood: nauseous

Well the nausea is affecting me pretty bad today.  I've barely been able to eat much of anything today.  I've also just had no energy either.  I probably should be cleaning up the apartment while I have the day off, but I just can't seem to get motivated to do so.  But I figure I might as well at least attempt to organize the clean clothes. 

Mood: Nauseous, but happy

The test just came back, the result is positive, as I figured it would be.  I'm excited, but the nausea is kinda dampening my exctiment.  It's hard to be giddy when you wanna puke..

Mood: tired and irritated

Tired, very tired.  I've felt pretty nauseous all day.  I have NO patience for one of the graduate assistants in my office.  Why does he feel the constant need to bug the living hell out of me?  WHY?  Ugh.  we go to the doctor to get an "offical" test so I can try to get medical insurance. Wish me luck y'all.