Weblog of MO

Mood: :) Awkwardly Cheerful
Listening to: The hum of my server

Some people don't like to be alone in their impatience.

In a thoughtless gesture of kindness, I went out today and bought two finches for the children. It's been on my to-do list (meaning the girls have been hounding me relentlessly for weeks) and I figured now would be a good time to create some excitement, fill the void while waiting for my hair to grow. I brought home the two lovely finches and set them on a side-table in the dining room.

This sent our two hunting dogs into a hysterical panic. Pleas of "leave it" only redirected their attentions momentarily and have resulted in a honing of their prey-drive to an intensity I've never before witnessed.

I must say this behavior is not entirely unforseen. When walking on the beach, our youngest dog Dori (aptly named after the Finding Nemo character, due to some unfortunate similarities in her behavioral characteristics) is unable to allow any bird to remain seated or otherwise in contact with the beach within about a 300 yard radius of us.

The surprising element was 'Lookout', the dog we purchased specifically for hunting, who has not shown the slightest bit of interest in anything that becomes airborne (other than house flies) is now miraculously ready to kill something. For the past two hours he has been vigilantly staring up at the cage, as if waiting to see if one of the birds will slip up and accidentally fly into his mouth.

So now we are all waiting for something. Although our goals are different, we are united in the common experience of frustration, and that bonds us together somehow on our journey. That is if we all survive it.

It defies explanation.

Whether it be symbolic, sympathetic, or just the result of self-destructvie energy directed hair-wards to quell the rising tide of anger I felt towards my husband that night, there is no reason. I was just sitting too close to scissors at the wrong moment. Staring down at the hair on the floor I realized the irreversability of my actions and tried to keep my mind clear. "Look on the bright side" I thought to myself. As crazy as I am sometimes, I can't fool myself when it comes to the harsh reality. 4 years of hair growth is a lot to sacrifice- and at 40,there's no free time to devote to growing it back.

I searched the internet frantically for hope that there was new technology, short of implants, that would restore me instantly to my former self. I bought Hair Formula 37- "snake oil" as my husband calls it- knowing full well I was grasping at straws. I looked for photos, anything to give me a glimpse into the future. How long will it take? What will it look like 2 months from now? A year?

I found nothing.

It was then that I decided to chronicle my long hairrowing journey in an online blog. The average rate of hair growth is 1/2 inch per month. I cut my hair January 10th, 2005 and as far as I can tell, if there is growth it's imperceptable. SO. Check out the before, and harsh reality phtotos. I'll post bi-weekly and hope someone notices change for the better.

As for now, here's a photo of me at my brother's wedding in July 04, and in the wee hours of Christmas morning (looking my worst at my hair best) days before I cut it all off, and mere hours before the Tsunami rose up in the Indian ocean.

I guess I'm one of many searching for hope.