Another Day

Mood: drunk
Listening to: nothing

 

 

today was prolly the most pointless day of my life.I got up early to go to school...went to french class and did my shit. then when came to go to Math...i didnt even bother. i cant do math for my life! plus the crap were doing is pointless seeing as im never gonna need it in the future. but i guess i have to bust my ass to pass this never ending bullshit just to get where i wanna be. which will never happen cuz im a dumb ass in math. im not gonna do it...i cant. i guess ill have to get a shitty job somwhere...and hook up with a rich guy. :o)(and marry him) like My lover Tom delonge. i swear if i could pick a guy i would wanna spend the rest of my life with it would be Tom.(from blink182). hes my all time super hottie. hes so talented and i just wish the band didnt split up so i could see them in concert. that would be my ultamite dream!

Im still not speaking to chris, since that fight yesterday,i told him i didnt wanna speak or see him for at least two weeks. i need a break from him. i just cant stand getting into trouble over stupid shit like that. im sick of it. why cant i find a guy with a good sense of humour! god...theres no such thing as a perfect man. and if he came close to being perfect...Hes GAY.lol!anyways im wrapping this up. im to tierd to write. plus im going to eat dinner.

 

Mood: unsatisfied

just got back from my boyfriends house,which was total shit.,

we were watching the O.C...and thats why everything went down hill form there...Hmmm i wonder why..

why do fuckers have to produce shows with perfect couples in them? only to make your relationship seem like a piece of crap! well mine sure does feel like a load of it.compared to summer and seth (my idol couple) i swear if i had what they had id never complain about anything for the rest of my life!

anyways at the end of the Perfect O.C. ofcourse chris had to act that a female and get pissed off at me for saying that theres nothing wrong being in a porno flick.i also said that if i was poor id starr in one to make some cash. well the shit hit the fan when i said that ofcourse. typical chris. somtimes he makes me feel like IM a piece of worthless shit...just cuz His shit dont stink.

Hes the total oppostite of what i want in a guy...so why do i stay with him? is it because im scared of being alone. or ive put sooo much time and energy into this relationship that i dont wanna throw it all away.

i mean and even the sex....for instance..today it was amazing...(because i did all the kinky shit) i put more effort into it then him, he just wants the" orgasm". and he got it alright...and guess who didnt. Me!!!!

I wish i could find a guy like seth..and if i did...id never let him go.

 

 

Mood: bored

how come everything is different now?

i remember how when i was younger ...i wouldnt go one day without telling her about 10 times a day how much i loved her.

now, that i dont live with her anymore and ive (we've) been through so many bad situations and homes and so on...i dont really think of her that much and i dont even think about telling her that i miss her at all...its scary cuz i dont even think i miss her.

It got to so bad to the point where she tracked down my father and reunited us back together,wich i think was because she couldnt take care of me anymore or she just got to lazy to.

its kinda sad that i think of it that way but...i cant help it. it was always such a hassel for her to take care of me or somthing.and it doesnt help that my older sister keeps telling me that she was a horrible mother and so on. right now my sister if really distant to her and my older brother hasnt even spoken to her which feels like a decade. i just wish that everything turned out better. i wish my mother didnt depend on (crapy) men. i wish she was more independant!