http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica That's the world from my perspective. Somewhat. And, it may be confusing, but i really enjoy smileys and secrets. therefore, this seemed the best option. if you want the public amelia: http://badgerx3.blogspot.com yes, blogger *hiss* i know, but oh kay i'm reformed. en lostinamerica lostinamerica Tue, 15 Feb 2005 07:26:21 +0100 daily 1  make the a times , but i got 1st in the 200 back, out of all the strokes...weird and i dropped to a 13 in the fly! and i have a 14 in the 100 back, which is 17 seconds better than before january. i'm stoked because swimming is fun. practices, etc. and i've decided that i don't care. and my undecicive period of un-liking-anyone-ness is over (once Again) but this time, hahah! who would guess? ***** but, i don't think i actually like him. it's just kindness, which is expressed in different ways. oh, awards was fun! i got about 8 metals. and then the game was Boring but the WHS girls won by 1 pt at the very end w a 3pt shot. that was cool. and i feel really stupid because i know more than i thought i did. but, i guess that should make me feel better. i'm going to get going on my speech because i'm a good kid like that... *floatyness* Tue, 15 Feb 2005 07:26:21 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/i-hate/24/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/i-hate/24/ ok, leaving again today. second friday in a row. and then next week there isn't school. then the next week theres lionel. hah! i'm kind of stoked. i'm planning on making the 200 im, 400 im, and 100 backstroke A times, along with the 100 fly. maybe even the free's? oh god, i don't want to go to school. i have a speech to give. remember i didn't do it. oh well, i like comlaining on this it relieves my stress ;) OH! *dennis/kid playground, swimming/sport/game Fri, 11 Feb 2005 15:35:03 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/mutual-affection/23/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/mutual-affection/23/ Wow this weekend was awesome because i didn't know anyone so i could be me and not care. i got maybe 6 hours sleep, no, i don't know. i met tons of cool canadians, eh? lol and the peruvian girl is super sweet too. i think there were only  3 of us in grade 10. and the boys won, which is awesome. i wish i could have gone, but i don't know, this was a great weekend. i was VERY undepressed, i don't know why, maybe because i was in canada. and calvin! oh my god. talk about scary! Calvin Braley from Omak, well he's 1/2 asian, and smart, and we kinda bonded about pressure, and how on the one hand some parents don't care, and those kids get pregnant in high school, but the other extreme "...all they care about is grades and they commit suicide" it was weird. then he talked about how if i only had 3 bullets who would i kill? and how the only reason he doesn't kill everyone in his school is he doesn't have enough money. and how he could get away with it. it was very morbid. and, this kid from ... Mon, 07 Feb 2005 17:58:30 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/crazi/22/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/crazi/22/ well, here i go for a weekend out in the boonies in canada. woo hoo! let me get away from the stupid fixations, the god squad who has now infiltered my every class. and, the stupid boy(s) who seem to think that i am now some crazy evil demon. well.... (no) but, it's not as though some things are bad? i don't know. Thu, 03 Feb 2005 05:48:22 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/A-Farewell/21/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/A-Farewell/21/ so we are now convinced that life can be fair, if you make it, but the world isn't fair. yay. point being, i'm a screwed up kid because i can't confide absolutely with my mom. how fucking naive does she think i am? i mean, ok, the "mother-daughter relationship" means???? like hell am i going to tell her everything in my life. it's not like it's her business, no not that! heaven forbid. that pisses me off. and is very frustrating. she called my father and told him pretty much that i tricked my friend into calling 3-way to "a boy" *ooo the horror* and that i am lying to her again. no shit. but i didn't lie and i didn't make her. she fucking wanted to herself. and that is NOT my mom's business. therefore, lets go interrogate Haley!! what a bitch. i hate it. please make it end. i hate being so whiny, but it's part of that "release your anger" stuff. *omm* ok well, maybe i'll buy the postal service cd...hmm :) oh!  a little town, windswept, with a downtown you can finish in 3 ... Wed, 02 Feb 2005 15:35:46 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/purple-stingrays/19/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/purple-stingrays/19/ yeah, that's all true. but it's a LITTLE more complicated than that. oh well. i'll stop making excuses. i'll get back to you later oh! but i did a 1.08 on the get-out swim. i was supposed to do 1.13 or below, which was after 10x100 sprint. that was hard . i hate 100s because the voice in my head tells me i won't survive and that the pain will last forever. eh. it was good. i think i'll drop in the 100 @ my next meet because i wasn't in it the last meet (the ONLY event i wasn't in) Wed, 02 Feb 2005 06:44:38 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/%BF/20/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/%BF/20/ I hate that i have to tell people (someone) something that he doesn't want to hear and i don't really want to say it either. god but i should and i know  i will but i have to first. *grrrr* i'm just tremendously weirded out today. weird. TruPatriot911 (21:20:34) : i have never hated you right, well, that made my day, even though i wasn't really in a need-to-be-enlightened mood, well, it kind of made me smile or something. or maybe i was just dreading the stuff i have to break to ****. stupid boy. why does he make it so hard? i hate being mean when i think about it. but then i get self-conscious or paranoid. i never want to be like Her. I thought I had K figured out, but now i don't know. Then again, that's because of the revelation. God! this world will NEVER be fair. stupid evil. ok i'm done. Mon, 31 Jan 2005 06:14:27 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/GAGH/18/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/GAGH/18/ At the end of the battle, and the combatant dead, a man came toward him and said: “Don’t die; I love you so much!” But the corpse, alas! kept on dying. Two approached him and repeated: “Don’t leave us! Be brave! Return to life!” But the corpse, alas! kept on dying. Twenty, a hundred, a thousand, five hundred thousand, came up to him, crying out: “So much love and no power against death!” But the corpse, alas! kept on dying. Millions of persons surrounded him, with a common plea: “Do not leave us, brother!” But the corpse, alas! kept on dying. Then, all the inhabitants of the earth surrounded him; the corpse looked at them sadly, moved; he sat up slowly, embraced the first man; started to walk . . . Sun, 30 Jan 2005 23:18:51 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Mass/16/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Mass/16/ I'm really excited i think. but i'm also kinda aprehensive because it is the first real pointed exhibition of the fact that i Will Not be here next year. i mean, that's a fact, but people start to tick me off when they all say "i could never do that" "that is so scary" It's like: "Well, thank you! You made me feel a lot better about it!" no, it's not like that. it's just, i think people should just let me be and mind their own fucking business. God! oh well. hey kell if you read this blog don't tell anyone the url because i haven't told haley or anyone. anyways, i have to do some "International Talent Night" thing so i'm reading that poem because it's by Cesar Vallejo, this really famoso poet from Perú. anyways, i'm kind of getting more and more excited about this weekend every second....and meeting all those people! yay. ok, i should leave and be a good girl and eat lunch. Sun, 30 Jan 2005 23:18:33 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Revelstoke/17/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Revelstoke/17/ Al fin de la batalla, y muerto el combatiente, vino hacia él un hombre y le dijo: «No mueras, te amo tanto!» Pero el cadáver ¡ay! siguió muriendo. Se le acercaron dos y repitiéronle: «No nos dejes! ¡Valor! ¡Vuelve a la vida!» Pero el cadáver ¡ay! siguió muriendo. Acudieron a él veinte, cien, mil, quinientos mil, clamando: «Tanto amor, y no poder nada contra la muerte!» Pero el cadáver ¡ay! siguió muriendo. Le rodearon millones de individuos, con un ruego común: «¡Quédate hermano!» Pero el cadáver ¡ay! siguió muriendo. Entonces, todos los hombres de la tierra le rodearon; les vió el cadáver triste, emocionado; incorporóse lentamente, abrazó al primer hombre; echóse a andar… Sun, 30 Jan 2005 23:17:18 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Masa/15/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Masa/15/ a relapse. plain and simple. sorry. but nothing serious. you see, none of it is/or was. Fri, 28 Jan 2005 05:22:08 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/14/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/14/ la la la la hmmm hmmm i'm so bored. it's kind of fun. it was So cute! nate kept humming yesterday @ the meet, that was funi...hmmm what else has happened? oh! yah! nothing. but, for some reason, that isn't the point of this blog: to recount things that happen, yes, but also to write my thoughts, problemos,  tough choices, stuff, and analyzations. it's really probably not a good  thing when at a sleepover you spend time "analyzing each other"  that was fun. good times. i went to justins ipodshuffle site to figure  out why he's being so dumb about it, and i didn't complete an offer,  which he's not going to cry over. so i'm lalalafloating. hmmm i think  i've become way too bored...maybe i should practice piano or clean my room. or make cookies. yay! i wish there was swimmin today. stupid purple stingrays. i also wish i could have gone. well, the b/sd  meet tomorrow better make up for it. i wonder if i'll actually get my own seat. i... Fri, 28 Jan 2005 00:43:58 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/To-fall-in-love-and-fall-in-debt/13/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/To-fall-in-love-and-fall-in-debt/13/ If mr. aimone can keep a blog, kell can keep a blog. that is my logic. then again, what was that about the falacies of logic? eh. aimone and mr. cloke and the highschoolers are all blogging which i find extremely amusing. i have burnt about 2 hours doing nothing at the school. it's great, except it started being uncomfortable about 1.5 hours ago. oh well. Thu, 27 Jan 2005 22:50:12 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/blogs/12/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/blogs/12/ oh yeah, claire and natalie were practicing their colon speech for english and they have aimone which is hilarious...also, ga-eun came over. i feel so bad for her. but i'm sure i'll be 100000000x worse in peru en español....i'm scared. i need someone's hugs. actually, no-one in particular but ok *shudder* going to swiming now   hey will you comment kell if you read this? even if you have nothing to say oh yeah, iis your house pink? because my mom's exchange student is staying with some people in a big house up in broadview near that i think? Wed, 26 Jan 2005 03:20:52 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/comment./10/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/comment./10/ I was thinking how funny it is that Kell reads this blog. i think. whatever. and the fact that he's kind of "keeping track of me" well, so is Haley i think. i don't know.  for some reason i don't always appreciate it. anyways, back to the blog thing, i thought it was funny because when i read the entries, it sounds like i'm talking about him a lot of the time, at least if you're not familiar with the situation, like he isn't. hah! so that made me laugh! and then, all the B/SW sweatshirts: Corsonator and Wiginator? or something. it was HILARIOUS because Haley said she would be "Ferginator" and, then we cracked up again. this was right after i explained that someone in english put "skanky" as one of the dwarves (extra credit) and she said: "Squishy!" and .... nevermind. oh well, i can ramble on this blog since no one even reads it. hmmm. anyways, what else happened? oh yeah, i am set for math and chem i'm stoked because i think i might possibly get a 4.o that is if i get 93+ in chem out of... Wed, 26 Jan 2005 03:18:03 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Squishy/9/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Squishy/9/ i'll explain kell to spare you more embarassment. well, lets say theres been some emotional problemos with drew and justin and stuff, so when i talk abotu "him" it's mebbe not you, and probably not God, but maybe drew or soemthing. well, i'll have to try again later. Wed, 26 Jan 2005 02:14:01 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/ok-fine-i-give-in/11/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/ok-fine-i-give-in/11/ tough day. i apparently look like someone from the cartoon "Recess" or something? wow. and anne is starting to get on my nerves again. oh well. that is as will be. and i was pissing Breanne off? ah well again. Ha. seems i don't really care. oops. after all, it isn't ALL an illusion (?) right? Tue, 25 Jan 2005 22:15:41 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/I-m-like-a-stoner-but-i-don-t-smoke/8/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/I-m-like-a-stoner-but-i-don-t-smoke/8/ Tell me how the hell you are. I was over it. But, the depression keeps returning! NO ! * shudder * * sob * * cold tingle/recovery *  I can't be so evil to him. But, I guess i won't tell them. you don't need to tell. what made you stop? who knows? not i . if i hadn't, there wouldn't be problems. I never ever ever ever wanted this to be. it is so depressing, it is all so depressing. how can i cry so much over this. It has happened before. just having a "good cry" This isn't good. don't treat me as though my antics are amusing. i'm on the brink. and emotional breakdown. system of a down really really fucking loud. that is NO comparison. he cares so much for me. if i think of it as friends and only do what's comfortable. a relapse? just a little tiny scratch. not even a cut, remember? that day? not too long ago. Don't treat it lightly, i'm pushing him into a corner, because I want to know first so i don't say the wrong thing. is that what everyone has done except for drew? Drew is the... Mon, 24 Jan 2005 06:32:54 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/home-another-day-of-paradise-write-entry/7/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/home-another-day-of-paradise-write-entry/7/ "we're dangerously close to the cheese!" "squeak" "where's the cheese?" NSS. Is that right? Kind of funny actually. Spam--how to kill it. randomizations. such a nice denial. such nice people. what a life. how to deal, with the scars on your forearm. leaving me with nothing else left to do. you're the only one that i had. Mon, 24 Jan 2005 02:48:16 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/something-about-daisies/6/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/something-about-daisies/6/ all i have to do is reaffirm that i am still alive today. that is the point of this blog Sun, 23 Jan 2005 22:46:57 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Please-provide-a-title-for-your-entry/5/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/lostinamerica/Please-provide-a-title-for-your-entry/5/