Another Day of Paradise

Mood: gargh
Listening to: iron man

 make the a times , but i got 1st in the 200 back, out of all the strokes...weird and i dropped to a 13 in the fly! and i have a 14 in the 100 back, which is 17 seconds better than before january. i'm stoked because swimming is fun. practices, etc. and i've decided that i don't care. and my undecicive period of un-liking-anyone-ness is over (once Again) but this time, hahah! who would guess? ***** but, i don't think i actually like him. it's just kindness, which is expressed in different ways. oh, awards was fun! i got about 8 metals. and then the game was Boring but the WHS girls won by 1 pt at the very end w a 3pt shot. that was cool. and i feel really stupid because i know more than i thought i did. but, i guess that should make me feel better. i'm going to get going on my speech because i'm a good kid like that...
*floatyness*

ok, leaving again today. second friday in a row. and then next week there isn't school. then the next week theres lionel. hah! i'm kind of stoked. i'm planning on making the 200 im, 400 im, and 100 backstroke A times, along with the 100 fly. maybe even the free's? oh god, i don't want to go to school. i have a speech to give. remember i didn't do it. oh well, i like comlaining on this it relieves my stress ;) OH!
*dennis/kid playground, swimming/sport/game

Mood: unusual
Listening to: sum 41

Wow this weekend was awesome because i didn't know anyone so i could be me and not care. i got maybe 6 hours sleep, no, i don't know. i met tons of cool canadians, eh? lol and the peruvian girl is super sweet too. i think there were only  3 of us in grade 10. and the boys won, which is awesome. i wish i could have gone, but i don't know, this was a great weekend. i was VERY undepressed, i don't know why, maybe because i was in canada. and calvin! oh my god. talk about scary! Calvin Braley from Omak, well he's 1/2 asian, and smart, and we kinda bonded about pressure, and how on the one hand some parents don't care, and those kids get pregnant in high school, but the other extreme "...all they care about is grades and they commit suicide" it was weird. then he talked about how if i only had 3 bullets who would i kill? and how the only reason he doesn't kill everyone in his school is he doesn't have enough money. and how he could get away with it. it was very morbid. and, this kid from switzerland, Felix, looks like Pippin from the lotr. it was a great trip. la la la. but, then i got back to hell. i think i have to quit piano. becuase i hate it...?
signing off, amelia

Mood: depressed
Listening to: claire reading about death out loud

well, here i go for a weekend out in the boonies in canada. woo hoo! let me get away from the stupid fixations, the god squad who has now infiltered my every class. and, the stupid boy(s) who seem to think that i am now some crazy evil demon. well.... (no) but, it's not as though some things are bad? i don't know.

so we are now convinced that life can be fair, if you make it, but the world isn't fair. yay. point being, i'm a screwed up kid because i can't confide absolutely with my mom. how fucking naive does she think i am? i mean, ok, the "mother-daughter relationship" means???? like hell am i going to tell her everything in my life. it's not like it's her business, no not that! heaven forbid. that pisses me off. and is very frustrating. she called my father and told him pretty much that i tricked my friend into calling 3-way to "a boy" *ooo the horror* and that i am lying to her again. no shit. but i didn't lie and i didn't make her. she fucking wanted to herself. and that is NOT my mom's business. therefore, lets go interrogate Haley!! what a bitch. i hate it. please make it end. i hate being so whiny, but it's part of that "release your anger" stuff. *omm* ok well, maybe i'll buy the postal service cd...hmm :)
oh!  a little town, windswept, with a downtown you can finish in 3 hours.freedom and fun, scarves, a green a library, being happy. Wtf is that?