Life or nothing like it (an excursion into the random)

I just wanted everyone to know that tonights bush speech was oringinally schelduled on the holy day of Monday <24> but Jack Bauer made the president <who is amazingly like president Logan> change it to Tuesday so that people could see something interesting on Monday.

Hello! I HATE you. stop spamming my guestbook! I dont want ads for penis enlargement or naked people on posters or your porno blog. PUT IT ON SOMEONE ELSES BLOG IF YOU MUST!btw this is what i think of you!

PS there is a reason i delete your crap

As a fetus, Jack Bauer went from conception to full term in only 24 hours, after which he shot his way out of the womb.

It took Andy Dufresne twenty years to tunnel out of Shawshank Prison. It took Jack Bauer five minutes, four of which were spent torturing Warden Norton

Jack Bauer was in last years season of "Skating with Celebrities". The show never aired because he hid in the air ducts, then killed everyone and faked his own death.

If you send someone to kill Jack Bauer, the only thing you accomplish is supplying him a fresh set of weapons to kill you with.

Saddam wasn't found by the military. He heard Jack Bauer was coming and turned himself in.

Jack Bauer pushed Humpty Dumpty off the wall.

Congress authorized the minting of a 24 dollar bill with Jack Bauer's picture on it, but the printing machines broke under the stress of his awesomeness.

24 returns to TV in less than a DAY *wets self* In honor of this occasion i visited the lovely website www.almeidaisgod.com which is the official site for almeidaism the kewl new religion that everyones talking about! So if you like Tony Almeida then you should join our lovely religion, but must first comply to the Ten Commandments of Almeida

1. You shall have no other deities or rulers before Almeida.
   
   
   
2. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything from Division or District (ie Chappelle). You shall not bow to down to them or worship them; for Almeida, the Lord of your worldly existence, is a honorable CTU agent, stroking his soul patch in dismay at the traitors for the sins of the people they really work for, but leaving the building to shoot the would-be assassins and rescuing those who love him and uphold his principled ideals.
   
   
   
3. You shall not misuse, mispronounce or otherwise violate the sacred name of Almeida. When Almeida answers the phone "CTU Almeida" you will show him the respect he deserves and quake in his presence. Almeida will not hold guiltless or help set up phone traces for anyone who misuses his name.
   
   
   
4. Remember Almeida Day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall watch useless crappy sitcoms and talk shows, work or otherwise toil in your useless existence, but the seventh day is holy to your ruler Almeida. On it you shall not watch anything other than 24 at 10/9 central, neither you nor your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, son, daughter, mother, father or menservants. For in six hours Almeida called in a lockdown, arrested a traitor, and on the seventh he rested. Therefore Tuesday shall be blessed and made Holy.
   
   
   
5. Teach your father and your mother to worship Almeida in the rightful manner, as you do.
   
   
   
6. You shall not ever destroy any Almeida paraphenalia, including but not limited to: posters, DVDs, taped episodes of 24, trading cards, clothing, etc.
   
   
   
7. You shall not betray Almeida by loving any other agent as you love him.
   
   
   
8. You shall not block the view of the television or talk during scenes that involve Almeida and steal the opportunity to appreciate Almeida fully from someone else.
   
   
   
9. You shall not give false testimony to those acquaintances who may have missed Holy day as to what occured during the episode, but especially you shall not falsely state what occured during Almeida's storyline.
   
   
   
10. You shall not covet Almeida's fashionable clothes. You shall not covet Almeida's awesome soul patch. You shall not covet anything that belongs to Almeida, especially not the way he says "Look. If somebody doesn't tell me what's going on right now I'm going straight to Chappelle" with such intensity. These things are for Almeida only and all followers of Almeidaism shall leave them where they belong.

 

 He heals, he prays, and his head bops up and down! What could be better than the bobble head Jesus? (19.99) Get one for your house today!