Opinions,thoughts and ideas(some nuts)

 I noticed that jackie O and shell bug like Quizzs,so girls this is for you ,be honest and leave your score on the comments

WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ

(Passing requires 8 correct answers...the answers
to the quiz are below)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?

(Continue to check your answers) - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - -
 
 All done? Check your answers below !

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) How long did the Thirty Years War last? Thirty years
                             What do you mean you failed  

 

FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to
"how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend.
Amen

MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit!

Thats it ,have a nice day

 

                    The PrimeMinester and the Premiere

It used to be that people would tell their kids that they could become either of the above.

If they do it now they should be charged with abuse.

It wasn’t that long ago that the poor impoverished politicians needed a 30% raise so brighter and better people would get in to politics.We had to compete with the private sector for the best people.Well I guess we got what we wanted.Now the top CEO’s are going to jail and we have Dalton(I’ve never made a promise I’d keep)McGuinty Jean(clean out the treasury) Chretien and Mike (Ipperwash) Harris. Anyone who hold these guys up as examples for their kids should be shot and P--- on.

Instead of being an example for our kids they are more like a poster boy for the  Godfather and his family.

They have all been caught in lies,two of them during  inquires and so far no one has mentioned perjury.If it was one of the great unwashed(us)we would be charged but seeing as it was a politician who probably had his fingers crossed it is OK.The great premiere of Ontario lied and signed a contract during the election and was sued but the judge said it was OK because he was expected to lie during an election.I guess it would be alright to lie in his court during a murder trial because the accused is expected to lie, so it’s OK.

These people should be held to a higher standard and yet it seems the bar is getting lower and lower.From where I stand, a worm would have trouble getting under the bar.

When are the people in Canada going to demand better?

 

 

 

I just have to comment on an article I read last night on yahoo.

 This is about the murder of Reena Virk by Kelly Ellard.

 First here is a quote from the trial judge:

Bauman said Ellard played "a central role in the attack and a crucial role in the murder."

He noted she was just 15 at the time, with no previous criminal record.

"Just who Kelly Ellard is, then and now, is the conundrum I find in sentencing."

He outlined her troubling behaviour while awaiting trial, including being accused of assaulting a woman in a park and threatening other inmates. She was caught drinking, has been accused of using cocaine and Bauman found she has done nothing to better herself.

"Ms. Ellard could not play by the rules even in the throes of a murder trial," the judge said.

She was sentenced to 7 whole years for this brutal murder and is eligible for parole in 3 yeard and 9 months.

 This girl was 15 at the time of the murder and doesn’t think she did anything wrong and her family is just as bad.If she can’t tell the difference between right and wrong at that age she has no business being free at all because no one would be safe near her.

When she is paroled I can only hope those useless people on the parole board volunteer to take her home with them and their families.At least the rest of us will feel safer.

                                                     

                                             

Mood: tired
Listening to: CFL

          

                      

 

 

                            

 

       

 Well,tomorrow is the last day of my one week holiday and I think I have done everything I wanted to do.NOTHING

 The company gave us one weeks notice that we where shutting down for one week . I don’t mind,working is not at the top of my list of things I look foreward to.and just to make it interesting on the last day of work I put in for two weeks holidays in the middle of August.The owner said nothing yet.If he says no I will quit,I don’t care ,working just keeps me off the streets and out of the poolhall.(I have no clue how you play pool)

 I had planned to refinish a cherry wood dining table but I didn’t do it.I had planned to redo the front garden,but I didn’t.My excuse is I’m practicing so I’ll be ready for retirement.(that will never happen).I’ve found out that it is better to go to work or my wife will find lots of things to do and she works me harder than if I was out working.(SHE IS A MEAN BOSS)

My eldest daughter brought her 6 months old Jack Russel over this eveningand we sat out in the yard with her dog and my dog.The jack Ruessell is about the size of my dogs head,the pup wanted to play and my dog didn’t. The pup kept nipping at my dogs neck and licking my dogs lower lip and my dog didn’t like that.He has never been near a pup before and didn’t know what was going on.He was snarling and threatening but did nothing. Finally he had had enough. When the pup came near him he would swipe his head sideways and knock the pup down and the lay on it so it couldn’t move.He was trying so hard to be tough but be gental and not hurt the pup,it was comical.I will say the pup didn’t give up easy but he finally settled down and just laid down beside my dog. It’s a good thing they got it settled now because next week-end I’m going to Buckhorn for the week-end and it is my daughters turn to dog sit.

 

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
 
Man who run in front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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Man with hand in pocket feel**** all day.
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Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
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Man with one chopstick go hungry.
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Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
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Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
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War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
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Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

                              

Listening to: tv

 

You GOTTA Love This!!!!!!!!
The Rambo Granny of Melbourne, Australia  

Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down - - and shot off their testicles.

The old lady spent a week hunting those men down -- and when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way, said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp. Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as could be:

'Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.' Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won't be using it the way he used to, Detective Delp told reporters. Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy to be alive after what they've been through.

The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. "When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself 'cause I figured the Law would go easy on them," recalled the retired library worker. "And I wasn't scared of them, either-- because I've got me a gun and I've been shootin' all my life. And I wasn't dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one."

So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description of the sickos', tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.

I knew it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them, the oldster recalled.

So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door, I shot 'em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know. Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.

Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny. What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison, Det. Delp said, especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for sainthood and a medal.

DEPORT HER TO CANADA -- WE NEED HER!!!

                                  

Mood: angery at rip off artists(insurance company
Listening to: radio

               Something for the ladies ..........

This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet,  and an explanation to those friends and family who have. Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on.  While the kidney story was
an urban legend, this one is not.  It's happening every day.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.  It was just that quick.  I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs.  The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?  Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.  Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.  My butt was next.  I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier.  Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion. It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched.

One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.  This was really getting scary.  My body was being replaced one section at a time.  How clever and fiendish. Age?  Age had nothing to do with it.  Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts.  What could they do to me next? My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.

That's why I decided to tell my story.  I can't take on the medical profession by myself.  Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using.  You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?  The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs .. and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax.  This is happening to women in every town every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

P.S.  I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts.  I was lying in bed and they were gone!  As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Hope I brought a smile to your day.

And for the men

 

 

Mood: so so
Listening to: golf on tv

I could not make it to my blog and finish posting my Canadian jokes because of a string of events that would make a sane person think they where out to get you.

   It all started last year when I said I was going to get another computer,which I did.My wife said we don’t need it but I got it anyways because a p2 computer is to slow and wont play the games I wanted.After I set up the new computer my wife let me try it and then she said WOW and the problem started. Now she occasionally lets me use my computer and I am stuck with the P2. So  I got a router so I can get on line when I want.The router was installed two weeks ago and worked fine except the auto dialer would come on while I was on line.I finally got tired of that and phoned my ISP and the tech helped me fix the problem in about 2 minutes.Some of the setting had been changed somehow,maybe gremlins I know I didn’t do it.Any how the next morning which was the day before can  Canada Day I couldn’t get on line.So being one of these people who love to tinker. I started to check things out. I did everything the tech would ask me to do,nothing worked.When all else fails ask for help.So with everything tore apart and scattered all over and my wife really peed off because of the stuff fired all over the frontroom I called the ISP again and guess what,even their auto phone system was down.All that work for nothing. I gave up and went to bed after reassembling the computer.In the morning I tried going on line and it all worked just fine.

Next  came the home invasion. The house was over run by rugrats and ankle biters.Some of the grandkids had arrived.We were outnumbered. There was three adults, me, my wife and my youngest daughter against three kids,two boys and a girl.We didn’t have a chance.

 Next my oldest daughter called and ask if we would look after her dog,a Jack Russel.that is barely house broken and hyper active.Like fools we said yes. The dog arrived and the kids went berserk,the dog went berserk and everything went downhill from there.That is my storey and I’m sticking to it. All in all I would say it was actually it was a great day and I had fun.

Oo my wife just got up and I’m being kicked off the computer AGAIN.