Raw bacon and Joanna G
Mood: Happy enough
Listening to: The quiet house
Tuesday, 10.50 pm
I am about to go and raid the (nearly empty) fridge and scoff one, or maybe two, slices of raw bacon. I have been fighting the urge to do it since dinner - mince and mashed potatoes - but can no longer resist! Ohhhh my mouth is watering at the thought. (Was going to say "I am salivating at the thought" but it sounded too poncy.) mmmmm yum. I get these food fads sometimes, and NO I AM NOT PREGNANT before you get smart about it. It's just that food is one of the pleasures of life, and sometimes you just need......something. With me it is usually savoury - chippies (with extra salt) but only plain ones; cubed luncheon sausage drowned in vinegar and smothered in salt, sometimes with cucumber and tomatos; a tin of salmon or sardines also with vinegar and salt; a cheese sandwich with lashings of butter....mmmmm. Chocolate does have its place though, and I'm awful for having to demolish whatever I've got in one sitting, then when its gone, its gone. No problemo. Obviously there is something lacking in me, its not food or nourishment I need, rather oral gratification. That sounds seedy but I know what I mean.
Gratification is a term I usually assocaite with sexual connotations, and this brings me to the next bit - Joanna G. Do you know about Joanna G? Its a party plan thing like Avon or Emma Page jewellery except its for sexy lingerie and, er, you know, toys and things. Adult ones. Well, one of my mates is having a Joanna G evening and I said I'd go for bums on seats but I can tell I'm going to be squirming. (We went to a girls Pamper night a couple of weeks ago and there was a display of stuff there, along with makeup, jewellery, sweets, wine-tasting etc etc and Karyn decided it would be a good idea to have a session in the privacy of her home.) Now, I'm fairly broad-minded but sex ain't my thing, and certainly not public airings of it. I've never even seen a switched on vibrator, let alone touched one, and as far as sexy underwear goes, its all very well them advertising plus sizes (i.e. anything over a friggin 10) but if I invested in some, Himself would expect me to turn it up wouldn't he! And truthfully, I'm not all that interested. Maybe if I have sufficient wine beforehand I'll "chill" enough to get through the night..... Oh god, what have I let myself in for?
Time for bacon.
Cheers,
Jaybee
