Weblog of Nadine

Irritated because the local  TV station has decided to show the tennis matches instead of the regular( my favorites) programs.

Like I said - who needs that? I've got my own action here at home.

Hubby's up ---

he's down----

he says yes----

he says no -----

it's positive 

no it's negative 

no positive again?

 STOPthis maddnes I want to get off - this bouncing ball. NOW!

Board? How could I possably be  board?

So I keep pluging along - pretending that things will turn out well. Because I know in the next millasecond  he will change his mind.

and it's not even 9:00 am. yet.

I wake up at 6:40 am this morning. I  get up - do the usual morning routine  and then turn on the computer.

6:44 I'm ( by hand ) writing in my journal - thoughts about last night.  That it went well. There were not as many people as I had thought would be there - but it was nice. I was surprised that the secetary had given up holding the second office. So I got to install seven people rather than six.  The guest speaker did a good job and I beleve everyone enjoyed themselves.

6:52 am. The computer is all ready messing up. It's showing me a " can't find this page" message. Shit! I realy don't want to shut everyting down to start over. I'm trying something different to jump start this piece of s......

6:59 am. Oh o - hubby woke up and came out ans set down ( to talk to me) not getting a responce - he obviously changed his mind and went back to bed. This piss-ant of a machine is pissing me off.

7:04 am.  It wants to disconect.......It hassen't even connected first ....how can it disconnect? It keeps on telling me it needs a place to connect. Duh! how about where you've  ALWAYS connected before?????? at home??????

Piss off -  it's shuting down  and re starting.  I need more $$$ to buy a better computer. Or find someone to give me one ( through - Freecycle - http://www.freecycle.com )

7:09 am. I click on  nemo and enter my password.

7:12 am. Click on people pc icon 

7:14 am.  giggle the mouse untill

7:17 am. then re click on the people pc icon. It says it's starting.

7:18 am. Log in - hold your breath - I think it's going to start!

7:20 am. It's saying " Now Connecting"

7:22 am. Click on check mail.

7:26 am. see my e- mail. I get 10 itams  and I only want  two of them.  

That's frustrating - 45 mim.s to get online.  As for the Citizen's police Academy  check out   http://www.blogigo.com/jamryn1 

It's 9:25 am and I'm already pooped.

Thank you for your comments. You keep me grounded in reality. Asking for a run down of a day in my life could be dangerous,confusing,frustrating,exciting,dull,and chalanging all rolled into one.

I could ask what do you want?  The real stuff - - down to the nitty gritty? Or the fabercated dream sequence? Today is a good day.  Tonight our home Toastmasters Club is having their end of the year banquet. The guest speaker will be the cordinator of a Citizens Police Acadamy - in which both  hubby and I compleated.

We've had great banquets before - but this one seems to be bringing an extra amount of excitement. I'll fill you in tommorow. That is if my head is still attached and not spinning a mile a min.

                   what to

I like new ideas and things.  I like beginning again. I  hate when the new beginnings fall by the way side - unfinished.  I can start things with a bang. I just have a  difficult time finishing. I can think of great goals and plans yet never seem to be able to compleat them.It royally pisses me off.

I'm saying all this because - here I go again - starting something new. I have hope.  I want it to work. It would be verry helpful if I could compleat it. I'm going to try ( very hard ) to write something ( thoughts -feelings -plans) here daly.

Purpose?

I really really really want to effect a change in myself, with in the next ten months and I want it it visably notacable  within the next four months. 

I'm tired of taking  a backseat and being passed over for leadership positions that I am more than qualified to have.

Here goes.......( please excuse the incohearent babble the first few days) untill I can find a real strong pattern to continue.......

Day one.....June 19th. 2005

Shit ......having said all that now I'm drawing a blank............. Oh well it's time to go to church. Maybe I'll have more to say after I get home.

Three hours later...........

GOD IS GREAT !  He answers prayer ....sometimes  long before you get around to praying it.  I walked into the room for this mornings  sundy school  lesson.  The first person I incountered was the lady that sponsored us into this church. She was teaching todays lesson. 

Her question for me was.....Do you journal? Do you write ( blog)down your thoughts in prayer? Then she said that she had  brought  some notebooks for people to take ...to start a prayer journal. There was a film of another lady who described herself as a Christian  author and speaker. 

Very dynamic.  God .......Thank you for the answer.......and for the fact that the answer came before I was aware I was asking it. 

Then came the sermon ......titeled  Islands......telling us how our homes and families need to be  Islands of LOVE....LAUGHTER....JOY....FAITH....STREGENTH.....and allowing us to grow to the POTENTIAL  GOD has in mind for us.

I'm just passing through life as an observer at this time.Counting down the days till I see the new Docter.

I'm estimating that to be a little over 20+ days.  There are days where every thing hurts and days just the feet.I'm fighting the thoughts of needing a  scooder or etc. to get me around.  Our eye doctor came up with a new thought the other day - Pain medication. Right now I'm only taking coleseroal, blood preasure and thyroid meds that the old ( QUACK ) docter has continued to prescribe ( that the doctor - before him ) perscribed well over two to three years ago.

Yep some pain mediocation  or a few real stiff drinks might help.

(Tid bits of information that I found in a Festival hand book. )

It's HOT out there !

No duh !

Want a quick and easy way to find out  how HOT? 

In warm weather you can estimate the tempture by counting the chirps of crickets in a 15 second period.  Add 37 to the number and you will have a very close guideto the tempture.

The faster that Cricket's making noise.....

for goodnes sake....

forget the stupid Cricket......

Get inside ....

in the air conditioning......

and out of that heat.

Change is in the air........I can feel it. I've been here before and as usual it's not comfortable.I thought that when you've passed a certian age that it was time to sit back and relax - take things as they come .

Ha!  that's a laugh.  Who stold my  rocking chair on the frount porch? And who in the H*** let that dude  named CHANGE to run loose?

  My legs are getting more and more ressless.  I'm signing up on more and more message boards to find people to chat with - and I'm finding less and less messages and chit chat going on.

There are things that desperetly need done that's getting shoved farther and farther away.  I am so frustrated.....I started this blog ...just fine - frustrated but fine .... now the tears are flowing heaver and heaver and I  realy can't say why. I hate Change.... HELP!

" What's up? " People. Are we living the best we can be? or just settling for whatever "CRAP" falls our way?

 After reading Michele's blog( Fading The Serface Noise) today, I can understand tired. She's aware of her challanges and is at work on new possabilities. What's the rest of us's excuses? What direction are we moving? Let me re-phrase that --- Are we --- even moving?

Every day I read the paper - watch TV.  check this and other Blogs and  talk to friends and familey, it's as if we've already given up.  The well fare and positive growth of people around us, our Citys, States, Countrys, this world - it's not my  job( problem) or concern. Let someone else do it!  The someone else?  Who cares ? Any old bum on the street. Just as long as they don't hold me responcable!

Am I wrong or am I missing something?  We are too bent on finding fault and or creating a brick wall of differences between each other. Unites States! Ha that's a laugh!  We're drifting farther and farther apart with each breath we take.  The United Nations?  The same thing.   China and other countries are looking toward developing - bigger - better - more dangerous wepons.  Will there ever be an end to this mess in the middle east?  If so - What country will be next? What ever happened to listening?  

I just got a phone call from a Club member ( the secetary - no less, should have the facts in the minutes )  that she'd not be at the meeting tonight. 

FACT: Over a month ago( recorded in the minutes) and for the last several weeks - they've been told that - "I" would not be there  for the next few months due to a  different program.  " She knew this!"  Why is she calling - me? " DUH!!!!" 

I think we are letting the goodness of life to go in one ear and out the other - that is.... if it gets in at all.

What do you think?

What's fun for one....

may not be for three

what you like to do....

may work for two

yet turn out to be a boor for four

Is'nt life grand....

that we all have differen't plans?

Feeling a need to get angry or to vent is good. It's good to have different ideas and plans than our parents and others, yet it is also a good idea to be flexable enough to attempt to understand the others point of view. Trust comes when both sides are 100% truthfull with each other.