Why now?
Well, it has happened. The man I thought I loved is an asshole cheater. I guess I had it coming though...me being fat and ugly and so very stupid. I got MY cell phone bill and she texted him over 100 times last month and talks all the time...did he think that I wasn't going to see the bill? Normally I do not look at it unless it has extra charges onit and this one did. Text message charges and alot of them. I am so alone right now...I really need my mother. 
I did do the naughty thing. I am contemplating taking the bottle of morphine tablets I took from my mothers' after she passed away. I have nothing left. I know I wasn't IN LOVE with him, but I do love him...like a brother. So yeah my night has sucked. I feel like taking all the money out of the account and just blowing it all or put it in my account I started for myself and leaving it all behind! Yep, I did do that. I took half the insurance money and put it away from him and even have the kids as my beneficiaries in the untimely event of my death! Not bad huh? I just know I do not want him to have it. I am also changing the beneficiaries of my life insurance to my kids and not hubby! He should get shite because he is shite.
I thought I was going to have a great weekend and get the basement cleaned and organized bit no, I have to deal with that shit...well it is late and I do not want to be out here in the living room when HE gets here...oh, btw, he is at darts and of course that and drinking and his friends come before any of us!
J.
HUGGGGGGGGGGGS,
Aly
I feel so guilty. I haven't been a good friend to you. I'm so sorry for that. I should've been there for you. I should've made myself available. Im so sorry. I really hope you don't continue to do the naughty. Please - please do not OD. He isn't worth YOUR life. I know that you love him. Trust me, I know. We've talked about that. Just please do not let him (which I will not badmouth him because you're still married to him, but man I want to) have that control over you. Save that money, sweetie. You could use it to get you and your kids a place or something if it comes to that. Just please, please, PLEASE take care of you. I'll be officially on break starting tomorrow at 2:30pm. I will have my MSN open when Im at my desk. You have 2 phone numbers to contact me. call me if you want to. We will talk. I don't mind it one bit. I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU.
I love you so much. Please take care of you. You're important to me.
xoxoxo
Shel
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